Kotas Reviews Roasted Turkey Pringles

Just hear those sleigh bells ringing and jing-jing-jingling toooooo. Come on it's lovely weather for a really weird snack food revieeeeeeew! Happy Holidays everyone! We (well, I, but humor me) here at Kotas Reviews Everything recognize that things have been a lot quieter around these parts this year than usual. Part of that has been a step up in things that have taken time away from this fine vocation, and another part of it has been a lack of inspiration. It's one thing to be hilarious about food when "weird food" wasn't common, but nowadays? It's hard to come up with truly hilarious commentary when it seems every brand now has some variety of "wacky" flavor that is generally just bad. The (admittedly somewhat niche) market is also becoming a bit saturated as well, with YouTubers known for other things getting in on this action. Still, when I have a particularly good insight, I'll chime in with my thoughts and I do try to review everything my readers request. Mostly. But you ain't here to listen to me complain about getting old and fat are ya? Nope, let's have a peek at Roasted Turkey Pringles.

Every Day we move farther away from Colonel Sanders.

Well, it's finally happened. Someone FINALLY iterated on the poultry flavored snack food beyond "chicken" and "chicken-adjacent" flavors. My beloved spouse brought these home from a trip to the local Food Store(tm) and I immediately knew I had to say something about them. It's not like savory flavored chips haven't existed before, but much like the glorious Steak and Onion chips, these purport to inflict the consumer with a full on main course experience. Willy Wonka would be so proud! The artwork is basically perfect. Pringles logo and name prominently on the front, background is super on theme with the homey checker tablecloth and a big ol' roasted bird up front. On fleek, Kellogg. On fleek indeed. Let's pop and hopefully be able to stop!

Saaaaad trom-boooooone.

Well, I can't deny that I'm super disappointed in the presentation. There's nothing in the way of flavor dust to make these look like "special" Pringles. The scent is basically on point. Smelling like cafeteria roasted turkey. You know the smell, right? It's not super strong, but it is definitely there. The flavor is also fairly balanced. There's some potato flavor, and it takes a backseat to a rather disturbingly accurate roasted turkey flavor. Salty, savory, turkey with Pringles is what was promised, and exactly what was delivered. However, I don't know that it is a flavor I particularly enjoy. It's not bad, and lord knows the "poultry snack" market could use a good shaking up, but I don't think it is something I would ever ask for again. I wouldn't turn it down though.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 Smiley Face. They certainly deliver what was promised by the can, but like so many things in the world I don't think that is what I actually wanted. I'd eat them again certainly, but I wouldn't buy them. If you are super into Chicken-in-a-Biscuit, these will blow your freakin' mind though, and you should get them. This year, give the gift of Turkey! In Chip Format!

Kotas Reviews Bacon Pringles

Man, is bacon totally 2015 or what? I mean, sure, we are still left with the survivors of the Great Baconating that occurred a while back, but bacon is totally on the outs as a stunt food these days. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Still, we see the occasional product come out that touts as its main attraction some sort of bacon enhancement, like today's offering. Let's take a gander at Bacon Pringles.

You don't often see a long handled sandwich maker pressed into service as a bacon fryer.

The humble Pringle is not often featured here, due to its vast array of mouth experiences even before every food producer took a train to Flavor Country. They occasionally come out with a new spin on an old favorite, like "Xtreme Pizza Flavoring" or whatever, but they are generally content with their fourth place in the Chip Hierarchy, behind Lay's, Doritos, and Cheetos. Basically the answer to the question "What happens when you tell an engineer to make potato snacks that aren't greasy, broken, or stale before you even buy them", Pringles are the preferred snack of anyone who likes things neat and tidy. The can itself is typical Pringles, with a picture of frying bacon somehow magically levitating a Pringles chip above it. They don't really fuck around with fancy shit at the Pringles factory these days. Of course, we're not here for the can, but for the chips inside. What happens when you shove bacon into them?

Underwhelming.

When I popped the top it smelled like a Bacos truck crashed into said factory. It's not...bad, exactly, but bacon bits, specifically the glorious artificial masterpieces of chemistry known as BacOs (which have zero meat content) are meant to be used as an accent and topping, not a main flavor. They are therefore usually VERY intense when eaten in more than just a small amount. The chips themselves have a brownish flavor dust that doesn't look terribly appetizing, but I chomped my way in anyway.

Let me just say, these Pringles take it to the bacon limit. Very fake smokey, very fake bacon-y, very STRONGLY flavored these are. They aren't bad, and pretty much taste like a handful of BacOs with perhaps a bit of potato to give it "body", but they aren't something I'd want to eat a ton of either. I could see maybe crushing them up and throwing them on a salad if you are too lazy to sprinkle both bacon bits AND potato sticks onto your greens, but you just can't eat a lot of these at once without hitting bacon overload.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 faces. They are interesting, but they don't really rate as particularly good, unless you are in the habit of eating a jar of bacon bits as a snack, in which case these might be up your alley. It's a bit much for me, with the fake bacon flavor just being a little too much for me. Good on a salad, not by the fistful. Give them a whirl if you REAAAAALLY like bacon bits, but I wouldn't go on any sort of quest for them or anything.

Kotas Reviews Cinnamon and Sugar Pringles

Limited Edition foods are a perplexing beast. On one hand, they are often used for things that make sense: Seasonal Treats, Test Market flavors, and so on. On the other hand, they are a crass marketing ploy designed to create a false sense of scarcity. The McRib is a prime offender here. Sometimes though, it seems like people use it as an excuse to create some of the weirdest things ever. With that, I bring you to today's specimen: Cinnamon and Sugar Pringles

The taste sensation that is sweeping an angry man in marketing's nation.

I do like Pringles. Something about those completely processed chips, each one more identical than the last one just scratches my "everything must be orderly" itch. That they taste very strongly of potato and salt does not hurt. They also tend to feel a lot less greasy than a more traditional chip such as Lay's. I like Pringles is what I'm saying, though not every flavor is a winner. I can honestly say that I never felt that Pringles would be enhanced in any way by the application of cinnamon or sugar, to say nothing of BOTH. Will this finally be the combination that brings potato chips into the dessert realm?

I'm going to go with no.

Well, they certainly look exactly as you would expect. Pringle crisps covered in a reddish brown dust. The excitement is palpable, let me tell you. The scent is...Pringles and a light cinnamon-y sweet scent. Again, be still my beating heart. The flavor is pretty much a lightly salted Pringle with some cinnamon and sweetness added. It's a little odd, but not unpleasant. Pretty munchable really, though it is certainly not something I would crave. This is by far the most Exactly What It Says On The Tin food I have reviewed up to this point. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this zero faces. It is what it is, but what it is is not what I particularly want, though I wouldn't be upset if I had some. I simply cannot imagine a time in my life when I will say "Boy, I sure do wish I had some Cinnamon and Sugar Pringles right about now", but I certainly can imagine eating them if they suddenly appeared. I don't feel they would make a good dessert though, since they don't have enough culinary robustness to carry an entire meal, even if that meal is just dessert.