|That is a lot more text that I expect from a breakfast food.|
I actually like Greek Yogurt when I'm eating pre-mixed yogurt. It's super tangy and that contrasts well with a number of flavors, most especially Chobani's Key Lime offering, which is my usual breakfast of choice. Greek style yogurt is also just more satisfying to eat, because it is thicker and seems more substantial than the crap they shove in the faux Gogurt tubes my child adores devouring. Mango though is not on my go to flavors list, most especially when paired with Sriracha sauce, and even more especially with savory mix ins!
When exactly did this become a thing? Last time I really looked into packaged yogurt with mix ins, it limited itself to "vaguely healthy but not really" like granola and abjectly dessertish things like chocolate chips. This? I do not know if I can even! Seriously, if there was ever a food I thought could benefit flavor-wise from Sriracha sauce, it most certainly wasn't GREEK YOGURT. Isn't yogurt opposed to Sriracha sauce on the Culinary Elements chart or something? Shouldn't it do double damage to Sriracha Elementals? And why mango of all flavors? Actually, it's used in some hot chutneys so that at least makes sense. I'm thinking through this too hard. Let's rip open the pack!
|What the everloving shit am I looking at?|
|At least the terror is hidden from mine eyes.|
Mixed in with the yogurt though, I must admit it's not terrible. It's not GOOD by any particular stretch of the imagination, with the overwhelming aura of "creamy mango yogurt, punctuated by Red Hots" vibe that flows across my tongue. The mango yogurt has real mango in it, which is nice, but the yogurt portion simply does not benefit at all from the addition of unflavored "hot-ness". The mix ins add weird and strange textures to the yogurt too, mostly because I expect them to act like granola and they absolutely Do Not. Rice crisps? Sesame Sticks? FUCKING CASHEWS? What the hell were you thinking?
I think I see what they were trying to do here, because Hot Mango Salsa and Sour Cream is a pretty good combination, but this is pretty much trying to make Jurassic Park with a budget for Carnosaur. Good try, lotta heart, very muddled execution that reaches for the moon and actually only gets over the tree in the back yard before crashing into the street.
On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 (one) Frowny Face. I do like seeing creativity in my yogurt I guess, but this is the insane ramblings of a drunkard made real. It just simply does not work the way it was intended, so I can't really recommend it. Give this one a pass, unless you really, REALLY like to see sriracha put on absolutely anything. Even then, maybe not.