Kotas Reviews Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips

Well, it's definitely Fall for real now. Its coming was heralded by brisk mornings, having to dig out your jacket, and pumpkin spice flavored everything. It also leads to more gatherings where you can sit outside in comfortable clothes and nice weather. In fact, it was one such party which is directly responsible for the review you are about to read. A co-worker's spouse noted I had a blog, and a few days later I was presented with today's subject, courtesy of that lovely person. I am certainly not one to refuse such a humble request, and this item intrigued me. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips.

Trader Joe has been hitting some weird shit lately.

Ah, Trader Joe's. They are the little gourmet grocery store that sort of can, since they carry a lot of what I would term 'quirky' foods and not very many mass market name brands. Still, I do love to get food from there is generally tasty. Fun fact, they are owned by Aldi's, which has been making some strides into my local area. Small world, eh? Whatever. Trader Joe's is known for its many many MANY self branded foods many of which have quirky names: Trader Joe Ohs being the name of their cereal brand. They also carry Charles Shaw wine, or "Two Buck Chuck" which is a cheap way to get wine drunk, even if it's more than two bucks these days. That brings us to today's offering.

The packaging is fairly plain, as is common for Trader Joe's stuff. Got the name of the store, the name of the product, and a photo of the actual product on the bag. Nothing too fancy, but I like honesty in packaging. These look like heavily spiced chips, and I predict they are sweet. Let's open it up!

Well, they aren't much to look at.

I'm not sure why tortilla chips needed ground pumpkin seeds added to the flour, or why it needed cinnamon and nutmeg spicing, but here we are in all our confusing glory. The scent upon opening the bag is distinctly Not Sweet, though there a touch of nutmeg and cinnamon in it. I guess they aren't meant to be sweet? The flavor is pretty much "corn chip", but with some extra nuttiness from the pumpkin seeds used and a subtle bit of nutmeg and cinnamon. There is zero sweetness here, but that's okay, it's mostly just a corn chip. The flavor isn't bad, it's just not particularly good either? It just sort of is. Corn chip with accent, if you will. I did like that on a few of the chips you can see fairly large pieces of pumpkin seed, so it's got that going for it.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. They are, in a word, chips. Eat them plain or with salsa if you like tortilla chips, avoid if you don't. The cinnamon and nutmeg flavors are there, but not really strong enough to make an impact. Much the same can be said for the pumpkin seed portion. It's there, but it's not spectacular, it's merely okay. Try them, or don't. 

Kotas Reviews the Impossible Whopper

Hello Everybody! It's been a while since I wrote here about stuff, but work's been a bear and the things I am reviewing are taking a lot longer to properly consume. Still, I did find some time for something interesting. In fact, I know a lot of people who are banking on this being the hot new trend. But, you know, we'll see, won't we? Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a big ol' bite out of the Impossible Whopper.

Two all beef patties special sauce wait a sec...

Burger King was never my favorite fast food place growing up. Sure, they had the better quality food products, but as a wee lad I was more about the toy that came with the meal than the meal itself. As I got older, I came to appreciate the Whopper as a much better alternative to the Big Mac, but apart from their onion rings, Burger King's other offerings were "okay" at best. These days, the idea of 'flame grilled' sounds better than it used to, though I do not often indulge because Burger King is inconvenient to me. So how did I end up looking at this burger?

Road trips are not uncommon for me, and ever since Wendy's changed their fry supplier, I've been looking for better road trip food. This most recent trip my buddy convinced me this would not only be a good idea, but a fantastic idea. I admit that the whole concept of the Impossible Burger intrigued me, so I agreed to the meal. 

Impossible Foods was founded in 2011, and the Impossible Burger was initially rolled out to relatively upscale restaurants starting in 2016. In 2018, it started selling at White Castle, and the big push now is with Burger King, and the Impossible Whopper. Then there's little ol' me, picking up a Whopper just to see what it is like. Let's find out.

Yup. Looks like a Whopper all right.

Well, upon unwrapping the burger, it definitely looks like a standard Whopper. It mostly smells like one too, though there's a hint of nuttiness that is different. The taste? Well, on one hand, it's a Whopper. It's decent, as far as fast food burgers go, but it ain't fine dining. On the other hand...oh man, it tastes like a burger. Now, it doesn't taste exactly the same as a Whopper, but if this had been wrapped in a regular Whopper wrapper, the only thought that would have crossed my mind is "Huh, I guess they changed the seasoning or something." I even tried a bit of the burger by itself with nothing on it. It IS different from the beef patty in a Whopper, but not by a lot. It's a Whopper, and the quality ceiling on a Whopper isn't high, but damn if this basically fulfills that space. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this Two Smiley Faces. Not so much because it is a Whopper (which is a decent yet unexciting fast food burger) but because this meatless Whopper very closely resembles the meat-ful Whopper. If every fast food joint suddenly switched to these type of patties, I bet most people wouldn't care. Damn fine job Impossible Foods. Now, figure out how to make me a steak and we'll be in business!