Friday, February 26, 2016

Kotas Reviews Filled Cupcake Oreos

You know Nabisco, I actually appreciate your current willingness to experiment. It led to a marvelous conversion of a beloved bakery treat into a delicious cookie that stands on its own, while still recognizing the flavor from whence it came. So it is understandable that you might try to catch lightning in a bottle a second time. I would have even settled for lightning bugs in a bottle. Instead, we have...well, we'll get it to it. Ladies, Gentleman, let's get a good long look at Filled Cupcake Oreos.

This was the best idea they had.
It's probably just my inner Wade Wilson talking, but the first time I saw this package I laughed out loud and started making terrible jokes. Get ready to twist and lick the white creme filling, right out of that circle of chocolate! I mean, COME ON. FILLED CUPCAKE IS NOT A FLAVOR ANYWAY! For fuck's sake, Nabisco, I get that you are going for an iconic sweet here, but let me break it down: Cupcake is an iconic sweet. Filled Cupcake is a description of an iconic Brand of Cupcakes, not a flavor in and of itself. I swear it looks like someone broke into the Chocolate Oreo facility and got waaaaaay to friendly with the production line. At least it is also in the easy access (HUR HUR HUR) package. Let's gently, delicately lay it bare.

Avert your eyes, children!
God the smell. It hits you in the face with a heavy burden of a scent I can only describe as "chemical" and it immediately put me on my back foot. Still, I must soldier on. FOR SCIENCE! These cookies passed the twist off test with flying colors and lo and behold, it is exactly as it was depicted on the package. A splortch of white gooeiness right smack dab in the middle of a chocolate filling. I just...I mean, what other comparison can I make that you, my loyal audience, have not already made? LOOK AT IT! Gaze upon it's sinful excess and be mystified at its very being. 

The licking of inner creme held no delights, only horror. It is the prime source of the chemical scent and it tastes like it. Imagine spraying your tongue with Scrubbing Bubbles mixed with sugar and that is the flavor you get. It is awful. The rest of the cookie is, well, standard chocolate Oreo, and eaten as a whole it does a good job of mitigating the terror of the inner creme, which surprised me. It's still very chemical in taste, but the two cremes manage to wrangle a chocolate and filling flavor that is almost but not quite unlike a Hostess Cupcake, which I imagine was the inspiration for this...thing.

Hostess Cupcakes are, in fact, sort of fake tasting. One can easily imagine them being prepared not by baking, but by mixing several chemicals into a bowl and having the cupcake spring forth wholly formed. However, the chemical hints are just that...hints, and they certainly aren't the focus of the snack. This takes all the wrong aspects and translates them into cookie format, and it forgets the most important one: Cupcake flavoring. This is just...not very good at all.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 frowny face. The inner creme is vile, and would get 3 frowny faces on its own, but with the rest of the cookie, it is not nearly as bad. It's still bad though, and only the truly dedicated Oreo fan should even consider trying these, if only for the experience. Everyone else? Stay the hell away. Get your jollies elsewhere, cookie lovers! Though, upon reflection, I suppose you already have.

Kotas Reviews Cinnamon Bun Oreos

My love of doughnuts is a constant topic of this blog, but I adore many varieties of pastry, and in fact my most beloved might be the cinnamon roll. The combination of delicious dough, sweet cinnamon filling, and of course a lovely vanilla glaze is one of my all time most craved desserts. So of course I had to review these. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Cinnamon Bun Oreos.

The Glorious Excess of It All!
The difference between a cinnamon bun and a cinnamon roll is probably profound, but modern cookery has rendered them one and the same, so I won't nitpick. Besides, I never could figure it out in the first place. I'll hand it to Oreo this go around. They do seem to be branching out into the specialty cookie to compliment their string of specialty cremes. Look at that appetizing packaging, proudly proclaiming that we will find within a Cinnamon cookie, and not just an ordinary vanilla Oreo. Such wonders await within! Also noted is the return of the easy open packaging, which I very much appreciate. Let's tear into it.

Surprising absolutely no one.
The scent is definitely cinnamon pastry-ish, though it is less cinnamon-y than I would have expected. The cookie looks sort of like a vanilla Oreo, but with flecks of brown advertising the presence of cinnamon. Other then that, it pretty much resembles a vanilla Oreo. I found them to be difficult to twist off cleanly, but that is the most minor of complaints. How do they taste?

Pretty dang good, actually. The cinnamon cookie part has a good cinnamon flavor without being overwhelming, while the vanilla creme takes more cues from vanilla glaze than from Oreo's traditional vanilla creme and compliments the cookie well. The creme by itself is a little too sweet though, so enjoy this one as a package deal. I personally would have wanted more cinnamon flavor in the cookie, but this is still good. Huh, it's like Nabisco faithfully adapted a flavor into cookie format rather than simply trying to shove a flavor into the middle of an Oreo! Very thoughtful!

On the FACE Rating System, these get a solid 2 smiley faces. I'd buy them again, if I had a hankering for cinnamon buns and yet also wanted cookies, and I would happily eat them in a social setting. Oreo and cinnamon roll fans alike should try them out.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Kotas Reviews Gingerbread Oreos

I think we have reached Peak Flavor Differentiation. Almost anything and everything imaginable is being flavored like something else. Reuben flavored potato chips. Sriracha Mango Yogurt. The Twizzlers that Should Not Be. And still, more and more flavors are being produced, but they seem...I don't know, lackluster? Anyway, let's look at some holiday Oreos from last year.

Oh boy. LIGHT BROWN. How appealing.
Oreos, I wish I could quit you, but I can't. I don't know why I keep coming back to you, but hey, there it is. This was the last of their holiday efforts for 2015, and well, gingerbread is not exactly the flavor I would have chosen for an Oreo. Most gingerbread has nothing resembling creme filling, and besides we already have a perfectly fine ginger flavored cookie in the ever present snap. Still, gingerbread men are a traditional holiday treat (and occasional breakout movie sidekick), so hey, why NOT gingerbread? The packaging is cheerful, at least. Let's crack this sucker open, even though it continues the current Oreo trend of not having the "easy open" panel that their regular line of cookies has. WHY DO YOU FORSAKE US NABISCO?

Well, we have tan and light brown. Such variation!
Well, the smell is certainly ginger-ish, though much closer to a gingersnap than gingerbread. There is a chemical sharpness to the scent that is slightly off putting. The look is...well, brown. It's just not very appetizing because the brown isn't the warm comforting brown of fresh gingerbread, but the sickly, inconsistently colored brown of dried tree sap. The vanilla cookie is fine, but also an odd choice. I guess because vanilla icing is often used on gingerbread? Am I just a gingerbread purist in that I like it without icing? Does anyone care? 

The flavor is once again much, MUCH closer to a ginger snap than gingerbread, only without the zing of a good ginger snap. This is more off brand gingersnap flavored frosting. The cookie helps dull the "fake flavorness" of the creme, but it doesn't really improve the flavor otherwise, nor does it accent or compliment the flavor. It is just there. Did you guys let the intern design this cookie? I mean, it seems like a sort of slap dash cookie. "Hey, this is more like a ginger snap than gingerbread...and why vanilla cookie anyway?" "Close enough and custom cookies are expensive. SHIP IT."

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 faces. This is a rather pedestrian effort than in almost all ways misses its mark, but not by a huge margin. They aren't terrible, but there is really no reason to get these unless you are a flavor completionist (SHUT UP IT IS A REAL THING) and simply MUST try them. If you have a hankering for a ginger cookie, either go make real gingerbread cookies, or have a ginger snap. 

Friday, February 12, 2016

Kotas Reviews Deadpool

Ah comic book movies. Once maligned as genre fodder for nerds, the comic book movie has risen to be one of the biggest draws to the box office...well, at least the Marvel movies anyway. They can pull off impressive set pieces that revel in their own existence (like the Avengers) as well as quirky off beat movies about people the general public has probably never heard of (like Guardians of the Galaxy). Then it craps out something like Fant4stic (spelling taken from the poster folks) and you realize "Oh wait, only the Marvel Studios movies are generally good right now." Then you get...

The Big Chimichanga
By all rights, this is a film that should never have been made. Deadpool, while very popular in the 90s and still beloved today, is not an iconic character in the mainstream pop culture consciousness. Originally a brooding grimdark anti-hero that exemplified all the problems with the Dork Age of Comics (pretty much the grim and gritty 90s), in 1997 at the hands of Joe Kelly, he got his own series and became an action comedy parody of the Dork Age. Much like John Byrne's Sensational She Hulk run, Deadpool satirizes comics and breaks the fourth wall so much it might as well not exist. The gag is that he knows he's a fictional character and capitalizes on that in humorous ways. So, how in the hell did a movie about THIS get green lit?

Well, this would be Deadpool's second cinematic go around. Ryan Reynolds was cast to play him in Wolverine: X-Men Origins...and, well, they fucked it up. Badly. Also, this is Ryan Reynold's 4th comic book movie appearance, as he was in the aforementioned Wolverine movie as well as Blade: Trinity and (sigh) Green Lantern. Not a proven track record. And this is a studio film! Probably crapped out just so 20th Century Fox can hold onto the movie rights to these characters for just a little bit longer. It's totally gonna suck ass, right? Well...color me surprised.

This is not a complicated movie. It is a simple movie presented in an intentionally complicated way for humorous effect. The story is simple. Bad Ass Wisecracking Asshole For Hire With a Heart of Tarnished Gold (BAWAFHWHTG) Wade Wilson meets girl of his dreams, who shows him up several times, and life is great. Then he gets cancer, like, everywhere. To find a cure, he's offered a shady ass bargain by some shady ass people. They do bad things to him, which cures him and disfigures him. He goes to get revenge. Colossus is there for some reason, but Wade does his thing, and gets a...reasonably happy ending. Ta da! Roll Credits, stay for the obligatory teaser, bing bada boom. 

I certainly never expected this...experience...though. Seriously, Mr. Reynolds was let "off the chain" for this one and embraces a role so thoroughly that it will be hard to imagine anyone else ever putting on those oddly expressive red tights (except maybe in the darkest corners of your twisted dreams). I am really surprised at the range of physical and verbal comedy, as well as just the right dollap of sappy happy that this film needed to pull off its "Boy Meets Girl, Boy Almost Dies and Gets Super Powers, Boy Murders Everyone Until He Gets Girl Back" story. Even people who hate the very idea of Deadpool as a character cannot deny that Ryan Reynolds nailed it to the fucking wall, and then fucked the wall. Because Deadpool. good character can't carry a movie...can he?

This movie works because we like Wade Wilson and more importantly we can believe that the Wade Wilson as portrayed on screen fits into Wade Wilson's World. Given this base, the rest of the pieces rest easily on top of this (possibly while humping it) and build a scaffold to cinematic joy...assuming you like dick jokes. And masturbation jokes. Testicle humor? Yes. All of it. The sheer volume of scatological verbiage in this film rivals and may even surpass that of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, and certainly has it beat in magnitude if not volume. I did not think that irreverence on film could surpass the rendition of "Shut Your Fucking Face Uncle Fucker", but ladies and gentlemen, I was wrong. 

I laughed at things that were genuinely amusing, things that were amusingly gross, things disturbingly amusing, things that were just disturbing, but more in that "really uncomfortable so I can only laugh" kind of way, and of course, the fantastic humor of a blind lady assembling IKEA furniture. Also possibly the most disturbingly funny masturbation joke I've ever had the...well, not privilege, but surely have experienced. They hyper violence is SO completely over the top that it enhances the comedy. This is black comedy at its most rainbow blood soaked best. Death to Smoochy, you have been supplanted in that regard. 

Let's talk about the non-Ryan Reynolds stuff for a while. The Girl (Vanessa) is an excellent comedic foil for Reynolds and, while not really developed as a character, does upend the traditional "girl what must be rescued role" a bit and not just for comedy's sake. The Sidekicks (Weasel and later Blind Woman) provide some much needed grounding for Wilson as well as often getting the upper hand in their verbal sparring. Weasel in particular has a lovely monologue about the grotesqueness of Wilson's "post treatment" appearance. The X-Men cameos (and that's what they are, extended cameos) of Colossus and (I shit you not) Negasonic Teenage Warhead (NTW) provide some real zingers at the studio system as well as a couple of the most quotable lines in a film full of quotable lines. I loved the contrast between the old fashioned (and properly Russian) Colossus as the traditional goody two shoes hero, Wacky Amoral Deadpool, and Millennial Not Having Any Of Your Shit NTW. This film has one of the best "credits to set the tone of the film" sequences ever put on celluloid mimicking digital media. Not since Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters has an opening sequence so thoroughly telegraphed the tone of the film. The taxi driver. I want to hug him so much. It is a tribute to Reynolds and more importantly, his costume department that they made the Deadpool mask almost as expressive as the comic book counterpart. Nice SHIELD cameo!

The film is not without its problems though. The villains are as flat as naan bread before it is baked, and have less personality. The origin sequences run for about 20 minutes too long. There are some mean spirited moments with the aforementioned blind lady that are just a little out of place with the rest of the humor. The pacing is really weird, but some of that is because the movie gets that Deadpool as a character is best done in small doses, so the interleaving style of now and flashbacks works pretty well, except when it doesn't. It's hard to explain, but it feels off kilter in places. The "horrible scarring" really isn't quite as hideous as maybe it should be, given everyone's reactions to it. Negasonic Teenage Warhead really probably should have been called Cannonball, but I'm guessing they couldn't get the rights for that character, given that she is completely different in the comics from her on screen depiction. Okay, that last one is a super nitpicky thing, but it deserves mention. Because I'm THAT GUY.

On the FACE Rating System, this film gets a very strong TWO smiley faces. It is not quite up to the spectacle of the Avengers, and it's definitely not the feel good movie of the year, but as a 2 hour gleeful fuck you at the concept of the modern super hero film, it stands above the rest, peeing on them while yodeling. If you can imagine Terminator 2, but with 200% more dick jokes, an extended segue way into a complete mockery of the Studio System, and frankly one of the most iconic comic book (and comedic) performances of the decade, you pretty much get Deadpool. 

Oh, and for those with young teens who might be tempted to take them to a "cool superhero movie". NO. This is as hard an R rating as you can get without full frontal nudity, mostly for linguistic reasons but there are a lot of "adult situations" I did not expect to see on film. So, don't. Seriously! Or you don't get any chimichangas.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Kotas Reviews Celery

Occasionally I get requests for reviews on this blog. Sometimes they are reasonable, involving an easily obtained snack treat. Sometimes they are much more difficult to tackle, given they involve a specific place that is far away and hard to get to. Occasionally, they are reasonable and I just don't get around to it for a long time. Today's review is a long time coming, but the requestor is getting married, so I figured it was time. Today we look at Celery. 

Naked as the day it was picked!
Celery is one of those foods that is always kind of there. Often found as an ingredient in soups, stews and pot roasts, it is most commonly found as a filler vegetable in store produced party trays, because carrots were too expensive that month. The commonly consumed variety is called Pascal celery, though it has nothing to do with programming languages. In ancient times the seeds were used as a pain reliever, and celery juice is thought to lower blood pressure. It is also one of the few vegetables to have ribs that are consumed. I've never been a huge fan of celery, but I used to enjoy seeing how many of the weird tubes I could fully extract from a stalk before consumption. High in fiber too, and while not actually a negative calorie food, it is incredibly low in them. 

The flavor is...mostly just bitter. There isn't a huge amount of unique flavor to celery, which is probably why it finds its way into many recipes as a mitigating agent and for a touch of "green" to an otherwise starch and protein heavy meal. It's got a tremendous amount of crunch in the bite, and will keep you chewing for a long while. But of course, we here at Kotas Reviews can do better...

The Aristocrats!
Where celery really shines is as a delivery vehicle for things you would eat with a spoon, but are too embarrassed to do so in public because of the shame it would bring to your family.. Celery is essentially without flavor for the most part, so it lets whatever topping you slather on it shine through, particularly if the topping is very strongly flavored. It works much better with savory toppings, but peanut butter (or its other nut butter equivalents) is a fine candidate. Some might press raisins into it at that point, but I would not. 

Because of its U-shaped channel rib, sticky things have a convenient area for glopping into, and it is portable! Sturdy enough for dunking into even the gooiest of sauces and dips, celery brings to your mouth many delights...and a few horrors. Let's just say that salsa is not necessarily a good candidate here. My preferred treat is of course, ranch dressing, but ranch dressing makes almost anything non-sweet taste good.

On the FACE Rating System, celery gets a surprising 1 smiley face. I'm not thrilled with it on its own, but it's cheap, reasonably nutritious, and has a lot of culinary uses. It also lets me eat peanut butter and ranch dressing right from the container, and that means its a winner.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Kotas Reviews The Force Awakens

Okay, it's been, what, six weeks now? Plus it was just announced the Blu-Ray release is in April, if the Internet doesn't steer me wrong. I think I can safely talk about this movie now. Though, and you can NEVER EVER EVER say I did not warn you, there are a giant fuckton of spoilers in this one. Do NOT read this until you've seen the movie, or if you have no care to give about spoiling it.

If I had to describe this movie in a few words, it would be: Bold, yet familiar. The plot is basically a retelling of A New Hope, with all the character beats moved around and more than a dash of Empire sprinkled in. A lot of what I'm about to say will echo what others have said. Still, I need to get this out of my head. Bear with me.

The rising power of the Empire First Order threatens to overwhelm the fragile government of the Old New Republic. Their agents have just caught up with Princess Leia Poe Dameron, who has information vital to the cause. As their soldiers close in, the information is hidden in R2D2 BB-8, a plucky astromech who is sent away...I could go on, but you get the idea. This is where I invoke that This is not necessarily a Bad Thing.

At its heart, Star Wars is about entertaining characters who get embroiled in amazing, yet personal circumstances and ultimately save the day. This film has this in excess. And thank goodness for that, after the lifelessness of the Prequels. I also appreciated the nods to, but not slavish aping of, the black and white morality of A New Hope.

They gave us more complex characters than in A New Hope, and made us give a giant pile of shits for them. Seriously, I walked out asking the question "Why is the sequel not ready for me to watch, damn it?" You follow these character arcs and you can be attached to them. Let's talk about the new folk first.

All of the new main characters have a thematic throughline of Discovery of One's Place. Fin has basically no idea of his place, only that his originial place as a Stormtrooper was Wrong, and he is afraid yet ready to try and find himself. Poe is the thematic other side of that coin. He knows exactly who he is as the best pilot in the galaxy and has zero doubts and fears, and thus takes the shortest amount of screen time to establish. Ray starts off thinking she knows exactly who she is, and yet discovers there is so much more to explore...and accepts it. Kylo Ren is her thematic twin, in that he thinks he knows exactly who he is, and yet discovers there is so much more...and REJECTS it. Violently. Good maintenance of theme there.

Now for the old! Let's get Luke out of the way. Ran away after his failure with Ben Solo? That actually calls back to Return of the Jedi and his constant "I shouldn't have come, I'm endangering the mission/everyone" refrain. He is the MacGuffin that drives forward most of the plot for the first half of the film. Hamil looked good in the old style robes too, beard and all. Nice callback to Ben Kenobi. Leia is around too, and still a hard ass, which was nice. Chewie makes a great foil to all the characters, even BB-8. Han is kind of a big deal in this film. Some have said it was simply Harrison Ford in the Solo Jacket, but I disagree. I think he was shooting for "beaten down old man going back to his old habits as an attempt to escape a bad part of his life" and he nailed it. The exhaustion of STILL having to wrangle stupid cargos (and let's face it, the horrible snarling tentacle beasts were stupid cargo) AND STILL having to try and talk his way out of other assholes coming to get his head after ALL THIS TIME is palpable.

The most Han like moments are when Ray gets the parsec count on the Kessel run wrong (though, I have my own problems with that...parsecs are a measure of distance, damn it!) and when he is talking to his son. Right before Kylo stabs the SHIT out of him. Bold move Disney, killing off the most popular character from the old series, even if you can see it coming from 3 parsecs away. I wondered up until about 30 seconds before it happened if they were really, really gonna do that or if they would wuss out but the scene is heavily telegraphed. It certainly made Kylo a more interesting character though! Again, we have a thematic Throughline for all of the old main characters, that of Fleeing After Loss to Old Haunts. Luke literally runs off to an isolated planet to hide away. Han goes back to smuggling, though he is clearly weary of it. Leia goes back to being a rebellious politician, to work through her grief.

The lightsaber fights are actually really fun and interesting, because they have TONS and TONS of emotional context feeding into them, and they do not go on forever. The space battles are decent, but they sort of distract from all the really interesting character stuff going on around them. They are very pretty, but not TOO pretty. In fact, keeping the ships mostly in atmosphere served to provide some (ahem) grounding for the ship fights, in all their cheesy sounds in space glory.

I liked the clear indicator of the time limit (in this case, the sun slowly going out), which was another throwback to A New Hope. The look and feel are spot on. Everything about the visuals screams "We're back to Star Wars as it ought to be" and the sound design is top notch. The efficiency of this film is very high, with most scenes doing what they need to do and no more. The establishment of the scavenger society in maybe 15 minutes of screen time? Brillant, and serves as a nice contrast to Tatooine's more agrarian society. The First Order is a tropey villain group, but they are completely humanized via the character of Fin...and they are actually pretty competent compared to the Storm Troopers of the OG trilogy. They might actually be precise shots in this one. The character interactions are believable and sound natural, unlike the prequels. The nonverbal communication in this film is very good, especially the Kylo Ren Temper Tantrums and the many meaningful looks, most of which don't go on too long. Taking out the Starkiller (niiiice reference there) was freakin' hard, and I enjoyed the trench run throwback scene.

Cons: Most of these are minor quibbles, but you didn't come here for a balanced interpretation of stuff, right?. Underutilization is a crime of the Star Trek films, and some of that bleeds through here. Leia is great, but she really needed a bit more to do. Phasma gets to be...a secondary Macguffin, and nothing else. Shame, because that outfit is amazing and with just a few lines of dialogue I want to know MORE about her. CGI Darth Gollum (yes, I stole the joke) is kind of blah as a prime mover. The speed of Ray's power acquisition is amazing, given she JUST FOUND OUT she's into that whole Force thing. Fin is surprisingly competent at lightsaber fighting, though I suppose they do establish that Stormtroopers have good hand to hand training with weapons capable of going toe to toe with a lightsaber AND Kylo Ren was already fucked up from Chewbacca's bowcaster blast.

Really? Another planet destroying super weapon (that is also a planet that ruins suns)? This is, what the third one of those you've tried? Is this REALLY the best use of resources when you could have probably, oh, I don't know, built a GIANT FUCKING FLEET and leveled civilization on those planets instead? Oh, it can hit...many at once? From ridiculous ranges? Sci Fi writers often can't get scaling right, and this is no exception. Why didn't they turn the shields back on after they were shut off? Maybe it didn't matter at that point? I'm a little disappointed that Coruscant actually WASN'T destroyed, because THAT would have been super bold. The rolling saw nightmare monsters were doofy and did not add much to the story. I can probably think of more, if I really put my mind to it.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 3 smiley faces. This was the film it needed to be to bring back the old fans and invigorate this franchise cinematically. If you are a Star Wars fan, you need to see this film, if only to wash the taste of the prequel films out of your brain. Disney, you totally got me with this one. I'm all in. When is the next film coming out? *checks* DAMN IT.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Kotas Reviews Chobani Chipotle Pineapple Yogurt

Greek Yogurt is the yogurt of choice for foodie hipsters these days, even though it is super trendy now. Chobani is my brand of choice, mostly on the strength of their blended Key Lime flavor. They are also aiming for that lucrative "mix-in pack-in" market with a variety of unusual flavor pairings. I looked at one last week, and today we have another one. Let's dive into Chipotle Pineapple!

And by dive, I mean carefully open and consume.
Pineapple is one of those fruits that I think tastes divine by itself, but tends to not mix well with other flavors. It's so sweet that it overpowers other fruit flavorings, and while it tends to meld better with savory fare, the texture isn't always the best thing for a given meal. Chipotle is...certainly a flavor that I do not hate, though I find it is usually (in manufactured foods) simply a code word that means "vaguely spicy, but not too spicy". Actual chipotle flavors seem to have a smokiness that most things labeled "chipotle" do not. All that in mind, how does a pre-packaged yogurt hold up?

At least it looks like granola this time.
Well, it is closer to what I was expecting this time. The pineapple yogurt is pretty decent pineapple yogurt. The Greek style offsets the all consuming sweetness well and make for a good solid blend. The mix-ins this go around and much more granola in style, and the flavor is...well, it is more smokey than spicy, so it's okay. I would not eat them plain. 

Mixed in, the flavors actually work together somewhat, but still not very good. The chipotle flavor comes through faintly, and the pineapple's sweetness is muted slightly. This is not a bad thing, but mostly what I'm eating is "slightly less sweet pineapple yogurt with some granola", rather than "chipotle and pineapple together at last". Is it bad? No. Is it good? Well, no. It's okay, and never rises above that.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets an unsurprising zero faces. It is neither particularly good nor particularly bad, it just is. Try it, I guess, if it isn't too expensive, but really, just buy some pineapple Greek yogurt and throw in some plain granola. You'll get about the same experience.