Friday, August 18, 2017

Kotas Reviews Dunkin Donuts Mocha Oreos

Coffee. Lifeblood of our modern society and savior of our sanity in times of strife. Having once worked in a coffee shop as a young barista, I gained an appreciation for coffee I hadn't known before, and I can tell you, it has made a world of difference to me. I like coffee is what I'm saying. But, can it still be good as a cookie? Who the hell knows! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Dunkin' Donuts Mocha Oreos.

Iced Mocha? REALLY?
Well, we have Yet Another Dunkin' Donuts themed limited edition Oreo for our eating pleasure, don't we? The last time we tried something themed after a doughnut shop was also a mocha flavor, and yet so far they haven't sponsored anything that tastes like, you know, doughnuts. Odd that. Anyway, I have to wonder at the choice to display and Iced Mocha as the "mocha" version they were going with for this cookie. I guess because it would be more visible that a hot mocha? Whatever, it's fine. Let's crack it open!

One of these things is...exactly like the others...

Yup, smells like chocolate Oreos with a hint of coffee flavor, which is right on target for a mocha. The taste is spot on too. A good ratio of coffee to chocolate flavoring, with maybe a bit more on the chocolate side that the coffee one, but still pretty darn tasty! The creme by itself though isn't very strongly coffee flavored though, which I find odd. I mean, usually the creme is much more intensely flavored and the cookie helps mellow it and make it more well rounded. This time? The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Sadly, these are kind of terrible dipped in milk. The coffee flavor completely falls away and the chocolate part is also super muted. However, dipped in coffee? These are fantastic! It's like a coffee shop in my mouth and THEY ARE MINE GO THE FUCK AWAY! MINE MINE MINE! Ahem...

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Smiley Faces. Pretty darn tasty, good in coffee, and wonderfully munchable, these are coffee cookies done well. If you like coffee, and most of you do, go out and get some today! Your tummy will thank you! Your coffee with thank you! Your milk...will not.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Kotas Reviews Lay's Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese Chips

So, Do Us A Flavor rolls on, and we come to our final (so far) bag of nonsense that's been released. I really have to hand it to Frito-Lay, they aren't afraid to toss out any old flavor and see what sticks. I'm still kinda sad that the Cappuccino chips didn't work out, because they made a GREAT ice cream topping, though they really weren't good for much else. Still, if you don't try everything, you might miss something, right? That's the kind of attitude that brings us to today's offering. Ladies, Gentlemen, and budgies, today we take a look at Lay's Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese chips.

Kettle Cooked even, just like Mom used to buy.
 The Everything Bagel is what you get when you mix thrift with a variety of bagels, or at least some of them. When I was a kid, I always assumed it was what you got when you took a bunch of "bagel dough scraps" left over from making OTHER bagels, and then threw them all together into a glorious Frankenstein's Breakfast sort of way. Still, considering you never saw any sweet bagel portions in it, nor more complex bagels like Asiago Cheese or Sun-Dried Tomato, I should have known it was simply a snappy name for a bagel with "a giant pile of stuff" on it. Oddly, I always thought that the onion and garlic portions overwhelmed every other flavor in the bagel sort of defeating the point of this. So, let's see what they do with the chip version eh? 

Yup, that's a bagel with cream cheese alright. The chip next to it is pretty unimpressive, but it does sort of get the point across. Not sure why they went with purple for the accent color, but what do I know about marketing? Let's crack it open!

Sad, really.
Well, color me unimpressed. These chips look like chips with coal dust on them. The smell is very strong, but more reminiscent of sour cream than cheese, though not exactly like "sour cream and onion" chips either. I suppose there's a lot more garlic notes. The chips themselves have actual poppy seeds on them, though no sesame seeds, caraway seeds, or any other kind of seed. It's practically seedless, I tells ya. But who cares how it looks, it's a chip right? How does it taste?

For something labeled "Everything" it sure tastes a lot like "sour cream and onion and garlic" chips more than anything else. The onion and garlic flavors just completely dominate, though the sour cream flavor comes out a bit sometimes. What it doesn't taste like is a bagel and/or cream cheese. Oh, there's maybe a bit more tangyness to the sour cream note, but it's still basically sour cream flavoring. It's not a bad flavor, but it's not particularly unique or interesting, and it is so heavy that unless you paired it with something equally strong it will simply be the flavor of your meal. I can tell you that if it wasn't labeled "Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese" I would have no idea that is what you were going for, unlike the Crispy Taco chips. Kinda off the mark on this one.

On the FACE Rating System, it gets an unsurprising 0 Faces. They aren't bad, they aren't good. If you really, really like sour cream and onion chips and want something with a bit more garlic, these might be up your alley. They are not up my alley though. Not bad, Frito-Lay, and I applaud your creativity, but even the most creative corporation has a flavor dud sometimes.