Monday, October 22, 2018

Kotas Reviews Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes

Well hello there everyone! Been a long time since I last stepped into this space isn't it? Yeah, well, I had a bunch of stuff go down that ate a bunch of my time up. But that's not why we're here today is it? No, it's the very best month of the year for folk like me: The Season of the Snack is upon us! Halloween, where the holiday is all about costumes and candy and being scared. Welcome one and all to Spooktober! First on our Spooktober Spectacular, we have a hideous abomination stitched together from parts dredged up from the floor of a factory and shoved in a box as hideous as it is colorful. That's right, let's take a look at Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes.

Don't let the smile fool you. He'll cut you but good!
Well, it finally happened. Someone at the General Mills factory fucked up and dumped a container of Lucky Charms marbits into a container of Frosted Flakes instead of the usual oat pieces. Legend has it that rather than take a loss on this disaster, the owners of the place simply ordered up some new box art and this malfeasance filled atrocity was given life. The box art cheerfully informs us of this Kitchen Nightmare, though I admit it was probably a good choice to just use Lucky the Leprechaun as the sole mascot. Though perhaps a half tiger version would play better this month. Anyway, let's open it up.

The first ingredient may be whole grain, but the second one is murder.
Alas, I am disappointed. I must give credit for being exactly what it says on the tin box, but it has suffered from Excessive Marbit Sorting, where in some cereal shapes are not conducive to keeping a good marbit mixture. As shown above, the number of marshmallows in this bowl was criminally low, though subsequent bowls had progressively more and more of them. But you know what? I like Lucky Charms. I like Frosted Flakes. How is this travesty going to stand up?

My word, if all travesties were this tasty, we'd need a different, more marketable word for them. This tastes pretty dang good, actually, if you like Frosted Flakes. The additional sweetness of the marbits is more of an enhancement than a detriment. It is extremely sweet, but it carefully treads that line between very sweet and far too sweet. Nice job, General Mills.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets a solid 2 Smiley Faces. It tastes good and it looks decent, even though it probably isn't on shelves anymore. If you get a chance to try it, it's pretty good, and you can probably simulate it by buying a bag of marbits off of Amazon and dumping it into a box of Frosted Flakes. On the Trick or Treat scale, this is definitely a Treat.