Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Kotas Reviews Genghis Khan Caramel

Well everyone, with Thanksgiving fast approaching, it's time to completely ignore that fact and dive back into the Mystery Box. I mean, why not, right? Besides, I've not looked into it in a good while because life has been super busy. So, let's eat what I think is candy. Today we explore...Genghis Khan Caramel!

Is that...meat? Why is it on the box cover? It's the "Hokkaido Original" though, so maybe they know.
Seriously, this packaging. I have no idea what they are trying to say, but "delicious candy inside" is Not It. It looks like a plate of some unidentified meat, possibly over rice, and almost but not entirely unlike anything resembling a caramel as I know them. Maybe it has a caramel sauce, but why in the world would you ever put that over MEAT? I just don't know, folks. I just don't know. Anycrap, let's see what's inside!

You lied to me, box.
Okay, well, I guess the actual product DOES resemble caramels as I know them, though they don't seem very Genghis Khan-ish to me. More like "a slightly lighter Kraft caramel" in wax paper. I was expecting more I guess? Pretty yawn-tacular. Eh, but how do they taste? 

They certainly are a variety of caramel. Much more milky than the caramels I'm used to, more creamy and less sweet, though still pretty darn sweet. They have a kind of chalky feel in the mouth that a bit of chewing resolves, sort of like a slightly softer Starburst, but not as soft as other taffy. It's fine, I guess. It certainly didn't conquer the majority of my flavor palette and reshape that palette for generations to come, that's for sure. Not really living up to your name there, Genghis Khan Caramel.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. They are okay, false advertising on the packaging notwithstanding, but definitely NOT worth going out of your way to acquire. There are much easier to acquire adequate caramels for you to enjoy without having to go to Hokkido to get them.  

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Kotas Reviews White Boo-tterscotch M&Ms

Well folks, we're all bloated with candy after the yearly sweets gorge other people might know as "Halloween". Seriously, the amount of treats my child has accumulated will last her well into next year at the rate we allow her to eat them. Still, when scrabbling around in the bottom of the candy barrel the occasional sweetmeat of interest will arise. Hence today's subject, and probably the next few reviews. Let's take a look at White Boo-tterscotch M&Ms.

Yeah, I'm terrified too. Though for entirely different reasons.
I'm a big fan of butterscotch. One of the few hard candies I can tolerate is Brach's Butterscotch disks, and nothing makes me happier than seeing butterscotch sauce on a dessert. When I saw M&Ms was doing a promotion for Halloween I just had to pick some up. The packaging here is pretty good. There are bats, a terrified candy person, the product itself, and a vague attempt at theming the name of the item. Oh, and the M&Ms logo. Still, I remain wary of white chocolate, because it has chocolate in the name and yet tastes almost exactly unlike chocolate. I mean, I guess it's okay, but I usually pass it up in favor of the real stuff. Let's rip open the bag!

That's not spooktacular. That's not spooktacular at all!
Well what a raging disappointment the coloration turned out to be. I could have lived with black and orange or other mostly "Halloween-ish" color scheme, but this? White, Tan and Brown? Sure, it's a lively block party or a furniture cover from the 70s, but as a candy theme it is suck-tacular. Still, if this is what it takes to get a high quality butterscotch candy, I'll take it. Let's eat!

Well, I can't say it is bad. What I can say is that it isn't good by a long shot. I will freely admit that I don't care much for white chocolate, but here it just overwhelms the butterscotch too much for my liking. Instead of taking a backseat, the white chocolate is just as much a part of the flavor profile, perhaps even greater than the butterscotch part. It does have butterscotch flavor though, so I can't knock it for not being what it says it is. It's just not MY butterscotch candy. 

On the FACE Rating System, it gets 0 Faces. It's not bad, it's not great, it's just there. If you really love white chocolate, you will be much more favorable to this heaping dollop of meh, but for real butterscotch lovers our time has not yet come. We wait, we hope, we persevere.