Friday, June 22, 2018

Kotas Reviews Crunchy Mint M&Ms

Once in a long while I will find a treasure in my pantry. I'm looking for a jar of pasta sauce or some rice or whatever, and I'll find a package of something I stashed away for a rainy day. Side note, does anyone else do that with snack food? Just shove it in the pantry for "later" and later is six months later or even a year later? Anyway, my fading memory is your gain. Ladies and gentlemen, today we take a gander at Crunchy Mint M&Ms. 

This was relevant oh, 3 months ago maybe?
These were released as a part of the new "vote for flavors" thing that Mars, Inc. did for M&Ms this year. I guess I'm a little late to the party. Do we know who won the vote? Does anyone care? Whatever, let's get on with this. The packaging is about as lazy as M&Ms gets. It's green, they threw a couple of mint leaves (at least, I hope those are mint leaves...doobie doobie doooooo), and called it a day. This is art, but with a professional polish. Anyway, it's fine. Green, more different green, and dark brown. What a color combo. Let's open the package.

It's everything I expected it to be: Kind of lame.
I get that they are staying with a theme here, but these color schemes do not endear me to these candies. I guess they mimic the standard "mint" colors, but couldn't you just do the regular rainbow of colors? No? That would be the laziest option! You put more work into making these different, just to make it look boring! Whatever. It smells of mint. Let's get this over with. At least they smell pretty minty.

Well, they taste pretty minty too. Basically, they are Mint M&Ms with the same chocolate crunchy bit in the center as all the other ones of this promotion. It's a good combination of textures and flavors, and I can't ask for much more then that. I gotta hand it to Mars though. They know how to incrementally try things. Unlike some companies I know *cough* Nabisco *cough*.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 smiley faces. If you like mint, this is probably up your alley, unless you also don't like chocolate. Otherwise, definitely give it a try...assuming you can find any packages left. Yeah, I am a lot late with this one folks. My bad!

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Kotas Reviews Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos

Man, it's be a crazy year for Oreos, eh? Lots of new flavors, contest controversy and several returning limited editions, such as Cinnamon Roll, that appear to be falling into the "seasonal" brand label. Still, it doesn't mean there aren't dozens of other flavors to explore! I'm sure we're not at all sick of them yet. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dive into Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos.

Well, here we are. Another pie flavored Oreo. Past examples haven't really conveyed a lot of "pie-ness", but there's only so much you can do with a cookie. Frankly, I think they are just using it to denote "graham cookie" instead of a vanilla or chocolate cookie. Whatever. The package looks fine, but much like Bioware games generally have a decent story, Nabisco doesn't get to crow about their excellent packaging anymore. In fact, it's sort of expected that Oreo packaging will be good from now on. Still, that's quite a pie they are displaying, eh? Let's see what lies inside!

It's the little differences that count.
Well, I can't say I'm shocked. It looks about what I'd expect a chocolate peanut butter cookie to look like. I'm not a fan of the "split color" look, but it does make for an obvious comparison. I personally think they should just have it split length wise, and do a half-layer of chocolate and a half-layer of peanut butter, laid down so that each bite gets some of each type of creme. Oh well, maybe that's harder than this weird dollop half method. Definitely smells of peanut butter and graham cracker, but the chocolate really isn't present in the scent.

Upon tasting them, they mostly taste like a peanut butter cookie. The graham flavor comes through, certainly, but there is little to no chocolate about these cookies, no matter what the color of the creme says. The peanut butter flavor is overwhelming, tasting a lot like Nutter Butter cookies, but not quite. There is something that might be chocolate in there if you really concentrate, but otherwise? Non-existent. It's not terrible, if you like peanut butter cookies, but it's certainly nothing special or Oreo-y. I think the traditional chocolate cookie would have been a lot better here, or even one chocolate cookie and one graham cookie. As it stands, it's an Oreo trying really hard to be a Nutter Butter cookie. Don't quit your day job, Oreo.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 Faces. It's fine, I guess, but I don't think the world needed a More Different Peanut Butter Oreo. If you want a peanut butter creme cookie with a bit of chocolate, just dip a Nutter Butter into a chocolate spread and enjoy that. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Kotas Reviews Kettle Corn Oreos

Man, I don't know how Nabisco does it. They have been cranking out Oreo flavors so fast my head is spinning and my pancreas cries out in horror. I mean, sheesh people! Let us have a bit of a breather! Maybe eat something else for once! Oh well, onward ho, right? Today's specimen is a weird one anyway. Let's dive right in to Kettle Corn Oreos.

Sure, why the hell not? EVERYTHING IS WEIRD NOW.
I'll lay it out for you, I'm not a big fan of kettle corn. It always claims to be "salty-sweet" or something but every time I've had it there has been something a little off with it. I can never quite place what exactly is wrong but I've never had a Kettle Corn Experience that rose above the level of "Well, I guess it's fine" and usually go into the "meh" bucket. So I can honestly say I did not have high hopes for a cookie version of it. How would they get the savory bits into a freakin' Oreo? Oh well, at least the packaging is nice. Still, I've come to accept that Nabsico's food package art standard is high. Let's rip it open.

Yeah, it's about what I expected. Vanilla cookie, some sort of sweet creme...wait, are those actual bits of popcorn in there? Why, yes it...oh, it's puffed millet. Says so on the package. Still, that's an awfully strong commitment to theme and I can respect that. There is a VERY "cereal grain" scent over this, that kind of reminds me of Corn Pops cereal. Sweet and corny, just like I like my pick up lines. Anyway, let's eat!

You know, I'm a proud man. One given to strong opinions and a strong defense of those opinions. I pride myself on having at least some idea of what I'm talking about, and I like to think that my food opinions are respected. Today I have to take my hat off to Nabisco, for giving me something I didn't even know I wanted. For you see fellow food explorers, these cookies taste nothing like Kettle Corn. However they do taste almost exactly like Corn Pops in cookie form. I LOVE Corn Pops. They are one of my favorite breakfast cereals, but having them in a cookie? Well friends, this is delicious. You may not have nailed "kettle corn" Nabisco, but ya done real good. I salute you.

On the FACE Rating Scale, these get 2 Corned Smiley Faces. It ain't exactly kettle corn, but it is much better than actually having kettle corn flavor in my opinion. If you were expecting actual kettle corn flavor, look elsewhere, but you will be missing out on a darn good cookie. Who would have guessed, eh?