Kotas Reviews the BBQ Pulled Pork Cheese Fries

The person who invented the concept of the chili cheese fry will go down as a demented culinary genius, along with the person who came up with the taco salad, and the inventor of the deep fried candy bar. These are foods that are the gustatory equivalent of building a house of stonework and vinyl siding. It shouldn't work at all and yet...look at it! Will today's offering hold up, or will it engender a fail cascade of epic proportions? Let's find out as today Kotas Reviews The Rest of the Weekend Meal.

My Temple Shall Be Glorious!

I'm actually not a huge fan of slathering fries with all manner of stews and sauces. I gravitate more toward the pure potato fry experience, with but a hint of salt for flavoring and accent. Even I enjoy a bit of ketchup now and again though, and this takes it to the next level. Welcome to BBQ Pulled Pork Cheese Fries. That picture up there? Actually looks pretty good. The fries form a nice base and the toppings blend well visually. Then again, that is the ad. Let's find out what it really looks like.

My Temple Is NOT Glorious. Not Glorious at all!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Pride Before Fail looks like. "Just slap that fucker together in a plastic trough and let the public sup upon it with their wriggling jowls, the cads". That is what I imagine Wendy's Corporate Overlords said when they authorized this heap of shame, anyway. And this comes from a man who shamelessly orders his Waffle House Hash Browns "All The Way"! I honestly wanted to like this. I enjoyed the burger from yesterday, and I hoped this would be another feather in Wendy's cap. Boy was I wrong. 
I've kvetched about my disappointment in Wendy's "new" fries before, and this is an example of why they do not work. Too. Much. Salt. You see, the old fries were big and chunky and needed a fair bit of salt because there was a LOT of potato flavor to accent. When they changed fries, they did not change the salt dispensing items in a lot of places, leading to oversalting. At THIS particular chain though, it was even saltier then THAT. The BBQ sauce was "Sweet", and it was decent. Not fantastic, but not bad. The BBQ pork was also decent. Both were able to counteract the saltiness to some degree. The cheese sauce? A train wreck through and through. 

A good fast food cheese sauce is one of life's guiltiest of guilty pleasures. You KNOW it is essentially liquefied plastic that has something resembling cheese flavoring, but you eat it anyway because it tastes good, if artificial. This stuff tastes like they scraped out the leftover sauce from a truck stop nacho dispenser after one too many days sitting in the warmer. It was greasy, gooey, and sour to the tongue, leaving a horrible candle wax sensation in the mouth after swallowing. I did not enjoy it is what I am saying. It got much more pronounced as I ate my way through. The pulled pork did its best to blunt the force of terrible sauce, but in the end it was overwhelmed. Just a bad experience for everyone (read: me) involved.

On the FACE Rating System, this dreck gets 2 frowny faces. I've had worse food in my life (sadly), and I wasn't expecting much from a fast food joint, and yet...look at it. LOOK AT IT, DAMN YOU. It is only saved from a lower rating because the pulled pork manages to mask the horror for several bites and my first impressions were more positive. But do not delve too deep, or you will unleash terror. One caveat: It is possible another franchise will have better sauce and less salted fries. This would greatly improve the rating, really, but consume at your peril.