Kotas Reviews Arby's Creme Brulee Milkshake

We're back with another milkshake review. Why? Because I like milkshakes, mostly and it's a new month of flavors at the local establishment! I'm sure we'll get around to their other milkshake flavor soon enough. Meanwhile let's look at today's offering: The Creme Brulee milkshake.

It's so...stripey!

In the dessert world, few concoctions are as bourgeois as creme brulee. French for "burnt cream", creme brulee is the go to sweet when you want something fancy dancy yet still wish to cook with a blowtorch. I happen to like creme brulee because it is sweet custard that involves caramel and fire, two of my favorite things. How does this shake stand up to my not-too-fancy palate? Let's find out!

Oh look, sprinkles! I'm sure that is fine.

Holy Jeez DAT FLAVOR. Wait, let me start over. First, the look. This thing only comes in one gut-busting size of 20oz, probably because that is the only size the see through cup comes in. It certainly looks fairly refined, what with the nice swirl of caramel and the little sprinkles on top of the now almost standard whipped cream on top. The flavor is...how best to explain it. I know, metaphor! Imagine if you will that this shake is an angry leprechaun made of sugar that has bounded into your mouth, seeks out your taste buds, punches them in what passes for their faces and screams at the top of his little angry lungs "BOO YEAH! I'm a SHAKE, MUTHAF@#KA!", then kicks over a bucket of caramel for good measure. 

It is like drinking a liquid version of a Lucky Charms marshmallow with the occasional chuck of sludge-like caramel style sauce working its way up the straw. The sweetness is mercilessly overpowering and the caramel is somehow extra sweet even for caramel sauce. I actually had to take breaks and drink water to give my mouth a break from this onslaught of supposed faux bruleeness. The sprinkles? They are hard crunchy caramel-ish bits that do nothing but make you go "well, I guess they put themed sprinkles in it, but why would someone assume I want my drink to be crunchy?". 

You know what it doesn't taste anything like though? Creme freakin' brulee. In that respect, this shake is an utter and complete failure. I wanted to like this shake. I really, really did. In theory, I should LOVE this shake, even if it doesn't taste like creme brulee, I love Lucky Charms and I love caramel, so this should be great, right? WRONG. It's just way, way too much sweetness. I actually got a bit of a stomach ache after drinking it as a final insult.

On the FACE Rating System, I give this shake one frowny face. It tastes exactly nothing like what creme brulee tastes like and the almost nausea inducing sweetness combines with that to make this a not quite pleasant shake experience. At least the swirl looked nice though, and someone who has a higher tolerance for sweetness and lack of authentic creme brulee flavor might like it better.