Kotas Reviews Hardee's Froot Loops Doughnuts

As the father of a 1st grader, fast food restaurants feature prominently in our regular "going out to eat" rotation. I'm not proud of that fact, but my child genuinely enjoys going to various fast food joints to eat mass produced culinary crimes against humanity. To be fair, so do I as my regular reader can tell you. Thus whenever a new "gimmicky" thing comes about, I do my best to give it a whirl. Especially the desserts. Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a look at Hardee's Froot Loop Doughnuts.

Gloriously colored!

It's no secret that I love doughnuts. This blog has a number of doughnut related entries over the...7 years I've been writing here. Further, I also love a good bowl of cereal, enjoyed as a dinner experience as often as it is breakfast. So when Hardees announced they were putting these two things together, I rushed right out and...totally missed the first time this was offered. In August of 2018, this item hit the streets and I...didn't. I couldn't tell you why I didn't immediately seek it out, since I happen to enjoy Froot Loops, but it didn't happen. Luckily for me, one of my friends tipped me off that it was headed back to stores and lo and behold, I was finally able to find it again! My gain is your...gain? I guess? Whatever, onto the review!

A less flattering arrangement.

Sadly, my local Hardees did not put these in the special box that were advertised, but I'll be honest, it is precisely the kind of box you'd expect Froot Loops doughnuts to come in. Opening this inferior yet still serviceable box I was immediately struck with the overwhelming scent of Froot Loops cereal. Boy howdy did they get that right. The flavor of each doughnut, while they look like they should be different ones, is exactly like a doughnut laced with Froot Loops flavoring. Each color tasted the same as every other color, just like real Froot Loops. I mean, it is truly amazing how they distilled that flavor into doughnut form. However, the doughnut portion of this is where it kinda falls apart. For it does taste of Froot Loops, but it tastes of STALE Froot Loops. I don't know if it is endemic to the whole line or just my particular serving, but these were not soft and delightful doughnuts. They were instead stale, crumbly doughnuts that also carried a perfect Froot Loop flavor. The mouth feel is of eating stale bread, and not great, despite the overwhelming sweetness of the Froot Loop essence. They were, at best, "okay". 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 Frowny Face. Kudos to Hardees for being able to absolutely replicate the smell and flavor of Froot Loops for a doughnut, but 50 DKP minus for the doughnut itself being completely sub par. I think that if these were fresh, they would be much, MUCH better. If you think your particular outlet of Hardees/Carl Jr's would have them fresh, definitely try them. If, like me, you have no confidence in this fact, don't bother. Just go eat a box of Froot Loops and weep for what could have been. 

Kotas Reviews the Most American Thickburger

Oh my goodness, it is almost time for the most patriotic holiday of the year! That's right, the Fourth of July is right around the corner, and in celebration of all things American, I will be tackling some of the most...oh, let's be kind and say "innovative" food items to be developed in the good old U. S. of A. That's right folks, it's 'MURICA WEEK!

For generations, Americans have celebrated the birth of our fair nation by devouring hot dogs, hamburgers, and potato chips with great abandon in pursuit of gustatory patriotism. Well, Hardee's (or Carl Jrs. as it's known out West) has finally figured out a way to have all of them at once! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Most American Thickburger! 

Picture courtesy of CBS Detroit...and MURICA!
https://cbsdetroit.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/most-american.jpg?w=620&h=349&crop=1

Throughout this blog, you will find the phrase "Monument to Man's Hubris" used a few times, but I can think of no other circumstance where this phrase is more appropriate. Just look at this thing. A 1/3rd pound cheeseburger topped with ketchup, mustard, a HOT DOG, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, pickles, and POTATO CHIPS. While the title of Most American food might be up for dispute, this certainly is the Most American Thickburger I have ever seen. Then again, promotional pictures can be deceiving. What does it actually look like?

I expected it to be taller for some reason.

Considering the usual disconnect between fast food burger pictures and the burgers themselves, this one mostly resembles it's idealized promotional self. At least some effort was made by my local eatery to make it look nice. Let's get it out of that wrapper.

 

Definitely American.

I've been a fan of the Thickburger back when it was called the Six Dollar Burger. I'm not sure what they put in them, but they are, for me, one of the better tasting fast food hamburgers. Still, odd toppings usually result in a downgraded burger experience, so I was skeptical this would be any different.

Well folks, I'm pleased to say that in this case, I rather enjoyed the experience. For whatever reason the hot dog and hamburger portions compliment rather than clash, for a meaty, American style tastesplosion. The potato chips add little actual flavor, but from a texture standpoint they provide some much needed contrast to the meat, along with a satisfying crunch as one bites into the sandwich. The lettuce and tomato make things a bit messy, but MURICA does not abide by being too dignified. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this a very pleasing 2 Smiley Patriotic Faces. If you are a lover of hamburgers in general, you owe it to yourself to see what combining a full meal into a single sandwich can do. If you do not like regular Hardee's/Carl Jrs. Thickburgers though, this will not change your mind.