Kotas Reviews Calbee

Today we dip back into the Mystery Box for spooky treats from beyond the pale...or at least treats we don't really have in this part of the world. Seems the world over loves crunchy snacks, and this one purports to be...well, why don't we just get started with Calbee...whatever the hell this is.

Canadian Bacon and Asparagus, the Snacking Duo I Never Expected!

Yeah, I don't know what this is. It has a little giraffe person on it that seems cute enough. Honestly, at first I thought this might be some form of instant noodle soup, but then I noticed the picture of the vaguely "hot fry" looking things and dared open it. I tried to glean information from the lid, but to no avail for I am an ignorant soul.

Well, I did learn that I shouldn't microwave it.

Every culture has a different flavor profile for snack food that is generally tailored to either an every day flavor or an exotic one. Of course, such things vary and in this case...ham and asparagus. Not really a flavor I look for when snacking, but hey, I suppose it fits the exotic category for everyone. Let's open this thing up!

Vastly underwhelming.

I can honestly say I was not expecting it to look like someone took Andy's Hot Fries, stripped off the "hot" and replaced it with random flecks of green and red. Still, I am a fan of potato stick type snacks, so how bad could it be? Well let me tell you how bad it can be. First, a positive. These things have tremendous amounts of crunch. Now for the rest of it. These things do, in fact, vaguely taste like asparagus and ham. Old nasty dried up asparagus and slightly off, shriveled up ham. It's not "spit out bad", unlike some other things I've tried, but it isn't the most pleasant of flavors. Thankfully both flavors are pretty muted compared with the overwhelming taste of whatever these things are mostly made of. Corn maybe? It isn't much like other corn snacks. It's not much of anything, yet somehow this overwhelming non-flavor mutes the other flavors so that you don't taste much of them. 
On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Frowny Faces. I find the mix of flavors to be less than enchanting, but the odd anti-flavor that the sticks themselves have is off putting. Visually, they aren't very appealing, and while they are super duper crunchy, I think I can find a better flavor combination than this sad sack of fail. Not recommended unless you REALLY like old asparagus and ham bits, I guess. Bleah. The good Mystery Box Giveth, the good Mystery Box Taketh Away.