Thursday, November 12, 2015

Kotas Reviews R.W. Knudsen's Caramel Apple Juice

Welcome to another day of Caramel Apple Week! We've been looking at a lot of candy this week, so today we are going down a different path, to one of drinks! Honestly, outside of the milkshake, I didn't think you could make Caramel Apple into a successful drink. It doesn't really pair well with coffee, though I suppose the case could be made for tea. Today's subject however, went in an unexpected direction. Let's take a gander at Caramel Apple Juice.

Limited Edition! It must be good, right?
Seriously, this is a thing that exists. R.W. Knudsen apparently saw fit to dive into the burgeoning caramel apple craze by being the first (and only that I am aware of) company to take sparkling apple juice (loved by teetotalers the world over on New Year's Eve) and combine it with caramel...or at least caramel flavoring.
Non-alcoholic, of course.
 The label is pretty simple, and I like the artwork that has the apples and the caramel together, yet as separate items, rather than the usual "apple covered in caramel" picture. It's a small touch, but a nice one. Perhaps indicative of what is inside? Let's find out.

Rock that jam jar. Rock it hard!
Well, the smell is very weird and off putting. It has a caramel-ish scent, but it is undercut by something else that I can't quite place, but it made my nose wrinkle in fear. Eh, maybe it just takes some getting used to. Let's take a sip! 

Okay, have you ever had something described as a liquid emotion? As in "this tastes like liquid happy" or something like that? Well, this is Liquid Disgust. I swear that of all the flavors one thinks of when tasting caramel apple, SOUR AS FUCK is not what I was expecting. It actually made me wince when I took a big sip, it was so sour. Look, when making caramel apples, it is supposed to be sweet, not like you just brined the apples in essence of Warheads and children's tears. Also, Dat Aftertaste! It is caramel, but caramel made by Evil Keebler Elves or something, because it tastes like the sugared wails of the forsaken. I did manage to finish the glass, but only just. The carbonation was fine.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 3 frowny faces. Seriously, how the hell do you fuck up sparkling apple juice? Apparently by adding caramel flavoring, or using shitty apples to make the juice or something. SOUR! Why is it SOUR? Not recommended, at all. Shame too, as their usual juice is perfectly fine. Just say no to this one.

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