Monday, April 6, 2015

Kotas Reviews Red Velvet Oreos

Sometimes a person is unable to obtain a thing. Sometimes this drives them to do unspeakable, awful things to acquire that thing. Then Nabisco releases another limited edition Oreo in the current Bandwagon Flavor of the Moment. Let's take a look at Red Velvet Oreos.

Note: Not a Photoshop
So it's come to this. Even Nabisco is jumping on the Red Velvet bandwagon. When I was growing up, Red Velvet cake was something that my grandma made as some sort of sad way of "jazzing up" the same old birthday cake. At least in my family it never ended well. In my college years, this was the only kind of cake one of my buddies would make, as he considered it a "mere vehicle for the consumption of cream cheese icing". It always seemed like it would remain a niche dessert. This just goes to show you that you should never trust my instincts about food trends because Red Velvet is IN for reasons beyond my ability to comprehend.

Behold all this majesty!
Red Velvet was first popularized when food dye suddenly became something you could buy in the grocery store around the time of the Great Depression. It was conceived of by the Waldorf-Astoria hotel as a signature dessert, but is often associated with Traditional Southern Food. Why? Shut up, that's why!

Upon opening the package, there is definitely a scent of...something Not Quite Oreo. It doesn't smell bad, but it smells very, very artificial. This is only slightly off putting. The cookies themselves look exactly as you would expect them to: Dark Brown-ish Red. Fit enough in my book to eat, at any rate.

Yep. Definitely an Oreo.
These cookies pass the twist test with flying colors, revealing a slightly off white cream filling. The taste is a LOT like eating an Oreo with a dollop of cream cheese icing, though there is a distinct chemical overtone that screams "I was made in an Erlenmeyer Flask!". The cookies themselves are not really distinguishable from regular Oreos, but the cream filling sure is, and how. It's a bit too sweet to eat on its own, but with the cookie it's good. Milk actually dampens some of the artificiality and makes these taste better. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Smiley Faces. They aren't bad, really, but there is no reason to eat these over regular Oreos unless you have a really strong fetish for vaguely reddish foods or an unholy love of all things Cream Cheese Icing. I won't turn them down, but I don't consider them something I would actually buy again. On the whole, very meh. If you love trying new flavors, see if you can get someone to give them to you, but otherwise? Just go get a jar of Cream Cheese Icing and dip your regular Oreos in it.

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