Nostalgia is a powerful feeling, especially when hawking cola flavored sugar water to the masses. How else can you explain the meteoric fall of New Coke, and the subsequent strangely still meteoric even though they actually fall out of the sky rise of Coca Cola Classic a few months later? Ever notice that with a lot of pop culturally significant brands it comes down to "entrenched incumbent vs underdog newcomer?" Coke vs. Pepsi, Nintendo vs. Sega, Wal-Mart vs....well, everyone, the story is told and retold over and over again. Still, out of these eternal struggles come weird and strange iterations. With that, let's take a look at the legendary Crystal Pepsi.
BOO YEAH!
Crystal Pepsi is LEGENDARY in pop culture as one of the most 90s things to ever exist, and for good reason. I mean, look at its introductory ad from the 1993 Super Bowl. LOOK AT IT:
Set to Van Halen's "Right Now", Crystal Pepsi splashed onto the scene to good initial sales as a part of the "clear is pure" trend started by Ivory Soap of all things. Sales quickly faded as people realized that maybe this wasn't as revolutionary as it appeared, and just like that, it was gone months after its launch. Still, the idea was kept alive by aficionados of the drink, who traded old bottles and cans on Ebay for ever increasing sums. That is where it would have remained, but then the nostalgia wave began to overtake pop culture, and Coca-Cola got into the act by re-releasing Surge, another 90s soda, to mild acclaim, and Pepsi followed suit with a limited re-release of Crystal Pepsi last year. I guess the gas station I purchased this at had some leftover, because this one was bought like, last week. Let's check it out! Well, it's certainly clear, that's for damn sure. It's got a nice effervescence with a solid citrus-ish note that pleases my "non-cola soda" expectations. This version isn't exactly like the original though, since it has caffeine unlike the one from the 1990s. Eh, down the fuckin' hatch, right? RIGHT! This tastes pretty good, actually, the citrus is sweet, but not super lemon-lime like Sprite or 7up. It's got a bit of tang to it, not unlike the Zima re release and is quite nice going down. I don't think I'd pick this over cola flavored soda, but it's a nice bit of "something different" when out and about. Good job, PepsiCo! On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 Smiley Face. This is a re release done pretty well, even if it is just a cheap marketing ploy. I say that you should give it a try for it's so called "final release" coming up soon (mid-August I believe), but don't feel too bad if you miss it. I'm a fan, but not an obsessive fan. You won't find me scouring Ebay for this stuff, that's for sure.
Sweet lord the Nostalgia train is a rolling hard lately in Soda Country. Coca-Cola brought back my beloved Surge (albeit only in gas stations), while Pepsi, wanting to outdo even that effort brings us Crystal Pepsi (also in gas stations...and on my list as soon as I can find it). So I guess MillerCoors wanted to get in on that sweet, sweet action and that brings us to our subject today. Ladies, Gentlemen, Kids get the fuck out of here, let's take a peak at Zima!
You magnificent BASTARD!
Yes, before that delicious plague of the beer aisle at grocery stores known as the "clear malternative beverage" assailed us in the early 2000s, with such "masterpieces" as Bacardi Silver and Smirnoff Ice, there was the granddaddy of them all, Zima. Marketed with the slogan "Zomething different" this clear boozy soda-ish "not-beer" was marketed as hip, cool, suave, and interesting. You know, like a hipster before that was a thing. You probably wouldn't know about it. Anyway, it quickly got a reputation as a "girl booze", mostly because it tasted pretty sweet and lo and behold, women drank more of it than other beers of the day. Still, for such a maligned product, it persisted until 2008, when MillerCoors discontinued it. So, why is it back, in the original bottle styling no less? I'm gonna go with "nostalgia is a powerful drug son" and move on to the resurrected product itself. I was too young to partake of Zima when it was first released waaaaaay back in 1993, but I remember the commercials featured a guy in a white suit talking with another dude and...honestly it just being kind of strange. Definitely different, and the guy kept replacing his "s" characters with "z" ones. By the time I was old enough to consume them (and yes, they were still around at that point) I didn't bother since it had was already as uncool as bell bottoms and brightly colored leggings. Since I'm older and yes, touched by the nostalgia bug, I saw this in the store and thought "Yes, I simply MUST have this". So here we are. Let's crack it open! Well, it's definitely clear. It looks, and smells, like boozed up Sprite. It tastes a lot like it too, with a nice citrus-y sour note so it's not super sweet, but interesting. I will say this, it certainly tasted better than I expected it to, and I happily drank a six pack's worth (with a bit of help). To be fair, I loved Bacardi Silver back in the day and this reminds me of a tangier version of that (original flavor, not the weird faux fruit versions that exist today). Who knew, right? On the FACE Rating System, this gets TWO nostalgic Smiley Faces. While it definitely doesn't rank up there as a go to malt beverage, it's a nice change of pace when I'm feeling more in the mood for a soda, but don't want to have liquor with a mixer. Go out and get hammered 90s style, you probably won't regret it! Probably.
