As I mentioned in my review of the last Hobbit movie, the Hobbit may be my favorite book of all time. I know I'm about a year late on my review of this film, but time and babies make fools of us all. That said, let's get this review over with, because the third movie is out and I need to catch up. Be warned because thar be spoilers a plenty on the horizon. Skip to the last paragraph for the FACE Rating and final thoughts.
When we last left our intrepid heroes, they had just escaped the dungeons of the Goblin King, and sliced his fat warted ass up for good measure. The last film was considerably more serioused up than the source material, but it was reasonably well done enough that I did not find it went against the spirit of the book. So how do we open? With a flashback sequence to Thorin entering Bree and meeting with Gandalf! Here Thorin's actual plan is laid out: Steal the Arkenstone from Smaug and, holding the symbol of dwarven rulership (Whaaaaaaaat?) unite the dwarves of Middle Earth once more to take back Erebor. Uhhhhhh, okay. Sure. That is at least a much more sensible plan than the one in the book, but WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS IN THE SECOND FILM? This should have been in the first film, and seems essentially like a retcon of the first film. Whatever, back to the story from the previous film.
The Various Dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf are seeking shelter from the patrols of Boss Orc the Orc Boss, when the Youngest Dwarf (by appearance, who is not Kili or Fili as it would be should they be following the damned book) spies a "great beast". Gandalf advises them that there is a house to shelter in, but that the occupant will either help them or kill them. Uh....is he talking about Beorn? Because while the dude was pretty unfriendly in the book (at first), he wasn't Chaotic Neutral. Anycrap, the film jump cuts to the party fleeing the ravening beast and managing to lock themselves into a convenient house.The goblins hold off their assault at this time, because Beorn is one scary motherfucker. Then Bilbo is woken up by a giant bee, doesn't freak the fuck out, and Gandalf introduces them to their host, Beorn. Then Beorn gives us his tragic back story info dump about how his people were tortured by the Orcs, and he's the last of his kind, and how he hates dwarves, but he hates orcs more, and here's some stuff, Mirkwood sucks, and this takes all of five minutes of the film.
What the everloving shit. In the book, the Beorn sequence is used as a respite from the previous action sequence, and to show how Gandalf is clever without having to use magic to show us his awesome, along with the dwarves securing a great ally for the troubles ahead. In the movie...it is a glossed over "and then" bit that manages to take Beorn and turn him into the fucking Last of the Really Angry Werebears. It even manages to make it seem like Beorn loses a lot of his control when in bear shape, which was never in the book! This fucking movie, people. After Beorn, they end up in Mirkwood, which has been Even More Serioused Up. Gandalf quits the party to go be in a more interesting movie, and the dwarves get overcome by the illusion of the forest (Whaaaaaat?) and are captured by the spiders. Bilbo is also captured (double whaaaaaat?) but manages, with a tiny itty bitty bit of help from his ring to fight his way free. He also becomes a bit of a show off. Anyway, while wearing the ring he can understand the spiders (not in the book, but hey, it makes sense), cuts the dwarves free, and the chase and fight is on!
The dwarves have weapons of course, so they do quite a bit better than in the book. Bilbo manages to lose his ring briefly, and fights a...worm/spider thing to get it back. I think this sequence is meant to show that the ring is starting to take hold of Bilbo, but it comes off as disjointed and kind of dumb. I mean, yeah, I get it, but it is not framed well. Then Legolas shows up with a shit ton of other elves including Female Legolas, and the dwarves are captured. Okay, why is Legolas in this film? I mean, yes, his dad is totally the King of the Wood Elves but he seems clumsily inserted into this story to show some continuity with the previous story. There is a so-called "hilarious" bit where he asks about one of the dwarves' family and is told "That's Gimli, mah wee lad!" Har dee har har.
The King of the Wood Elves actually susses out Thorin's plan at this point, and offers to assist, with the only price being some gems in the hoard. Thorin tells him to stuff it up his elf hole, we learn the King has fought and been scarred by dragons in the past (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?) and the dwarves are retained in the elf prisons for a grand total of...maybe 24 hours, during which time Kili starts to lightly romance Female Legolas, who was just told that Regular Legolas would not be allowed to court her, but is "very fond of her". Whaaaaaaaaaat? Anyway, Bilbo finds out there is a party going on, nips the keys, shoves the dwarves into barrels, and sends the whole lot down the hole into the river. This...happens in the book, but it takes a lot longer and shows Bilbo's cleverness in sneaking the dwarves out. In the movie, this is a rip roaring action sequence that would also make a pretty fantastic amusement park ride. The problem? It goes on forever and is even MORE ridiculous than the chase sequence through the Goblin City in the previous film, and that is saying something. There's elves and chasing and orc murder and tossing weapons and Bombur turns into some sort of dervish in a barrel for a little while and...sigh. It just goes on and on forever.
To sum up, dwarves and company escape, and somewhere in all this mess we see a different movie I call "Wizards and Orcs Do Stuff". Gandalf and Radaghast investigate the prison of the Nine and find that they have all broken free and gone to Dol Guldor. Gandalf and Radaghast go there to investigate, and Gandalf decides to break the spell of concealment on the place, sending Radaghast away. Also, Boss Orc the Orc Boss has been recalled there, and sent Bolg to hunt the dwarves instead. Because reasons, I guess. Something about him being the chosen leader? Whatever. Gandalf does a lot of cool magic, fights off some orcs, and then Wizard Fights with Sauron. Gandalf ends up in a cage, again. This movie is cut to several times during the film, but that's pretty much what happens in this better film. Back to the (sigh) dwarves.
They meet Bard, and hire him to smuggle them into Lake Town. Bard is a poor, but honest man of the people, who is trying to help the commoners overcome the hardships brought on by the corrupt government of the Master of the Town, and his toady, uh, Totally Not Wormtongue. Blah blah blah smuggling, blah blah blah, downtrodden, whatever. We also learn that the Black Arrow is not only one of many, but also actually ballistae ammunition (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????). Bard finds out that Thorin is Thorin, who has just been captured trying to steal weapons from the armory, after Kili falls on his bum and poisoned leg that he got during the barrel chase. Thorin speaks grandly, Bard yells about how that will just bring the dragon, Thorin tells him to piss off (noticing a theme here), and the Master of the Town welcomes them with open arms. Meanwhile, back with the elves, Legolas and Femgolas find out that Kili is poisoned, and she runs out to save him, with Legolas after. The dwarves set off for the mountain, but Kili, Bofor, Fili, and, uh, Doc all stay behind because Kili is For Reals Sick, and they end up at Bard's house. GOT ALL THAT? Jesus, for a 2.5 hour movie, it sure does rush through shit.
The dwarves manage to climb a very nice set piece to where they think the door is, and then essentially give up after the most minor of setbacks, to the point of just dropping the key. Bilbo tells them to sack up, and manages to figure out that the "last light of Durin's Day" meant "the moonlight". Do I even need to say Whaaaaaaaat? again? The dwarves send Bilbo down to see Smaug, while some orcs sneak into Laketown to kill Kili and Company. There is a wacky fight scene. Back to Bilbo and the actual good part of this film. Down in the depths, he finds the giant huge treasure hoard, and then finds Smaug sleeping under it. He uses his ring for about 20 seconds before just giving up on that shit, because trying to talk to Smaug with the "RingWavy" filter on was too much effort. Smaug is actually pretty damn cool, and I'll be honest, I was kind of rooting for him at this point as one of the few characters that stayed true to the books.
Smaug basically says "I'm a dragon, I'm a Dragooooon, Suck My DIIIIIIIICK, I'M A DRAAAAAGOOOOON!" while Bilbo tries to pick up the Arkenstone. Smaug also susses out Thorin's Actual Make Sense Plan, and tells Bilbo that it's probably not the best of ideas, given the whole dragon thing. Then he tries to kill Bilbo. Bilbo sensibly runs, and meets Thorin, who starts to threaten him for the Arkenstone (shades of Boromir in The Fellowship of the Ring, actually), when Smaug demands all of their attention.
Ugh, this movie is super long, so I'm going to whirlwind through it. Orcs fight in Laketown, Legolas and Femgolas kill most of them, Femgolas heals Kili, who professes feverish love for her. It's...kind of dumb. The rest of the dwarves and Bilbo execute an amazing plan to use molten gold to kill Smaug. This is two things: First, it is totally the "hero" moment for all the dwarves, because in the book their plan is "show up and hope", so I don't mind it as much. Second, it is the single most contrived thing that has ever been shown on screen. Here is what has to happen. The forges need to be lit, so the gold can be melted, which is then sent through channels to a giant mold that resides in the Hall of Kings, and Smaug needs to be in front of it so that the dwarves can crack the mold and dump the gold on him. To get to the forges, the dwarves split up while being chased by Smaug, and taunt him into using his fire breath on them, which lights the forges when they hide behind the slats in a giant metal portcullis. Bombur begins using a giant bellows to fan the fires to melt the gold. Thorin sends Bilbo to pull a lever which will release water that will both put out Smaug's fire temporarily, and also start the waterwheels turning which will move the ore carts and enable some of the channel mechanisms. The dwarves use the ore carts to distract Smaug, while Balin prepares canisters of gunpowder (!!!) to distract and enrage Smaug. Thorin opens the channels to let the molten gold flow, and then throws a wheelbarrow into the gold to ride it to the Hall of Kings, leaving Bilbo to lead Smaug there as well. Smaug tries to kill Bilbo, but Thorin taunts him into approaching the cast, and the mold is broken, leaving a giant golden dwarf standing there ever so briefly before the molten gold splashes over Smaug covering him and the Hall in molten gold. Smaug walks it off, and goes to destroy Laketown. The end.
By any sane account, each of these folks should have died 30 times over executing this long, complex, nigh impossible plan. Look, I've tried on the fly complex plans in combat situations against powerful foes before during my gaming experiences, and usually they devolve into "rush 'em and pray" because even with the most intense planning, they fall apart so very easily. How in the HELL did Thorin know about the statue being "all but cast" and somehow, in the 30 seconds he must have had, spill this plan to the rest of the dwarves and Bilbo, in addition to surviving extremely close encounters with molten gold and dragon fire. It was an incredible action sequence, but it was completely and totally so far over the top as to go back under and go over the top a second time. What the everloving fuck did I just watch?
On the FACE Rating System, this movie gets 3 frowny faces. It had some really impressive visuals, and the action sequences were spectacular, but it suffers from a myriad of pacing problems, wild departures from even what the "moviefied" version of this book should be, several plot cul-de-sacs, a pointless romance set up, a completely unnecessary social commentary about corrupt politicians, and a level of cartoonishness and ridiculousness that is even more outrageous than anything in the original Lord of the Rings Trilogy could throw at us. Holy Shit This Fucking Film. I feel as though I wasted 2.5 hours of my life, and while middle films are often a bit of marking time in film trilogies, this film is the worst aspects of that ten fold. I am incredibly disappointed and you should be too.
Welcome to Kotas Reviews Everything! Where everything gets reviewed, eventually.
Showing posts with label Hobbit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hobbit. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Kotas Reviews The Hobbit
Today I saw the Hobbit. First, a little background. The Hobbit was THE book that got me into fantasy literature. I was sick for a week or two one summer as a small kid, and I couldn’t really do anything. I found a copy of The Hobbit amongst my parents books. I read that thing like 3 times...in a row. My grandfather recorded the original animated movie off of HBO or something the next year, and I watched the hell out of that too. Wore out the tape. I love this book, perhaps more than any other book written so far. Be warned, beyond this point thar be spoilers. Skip to the final paragraph for the FACE rating and final word.
This film is not the movie of the book. It is a movie based on the book, and more to the point, it is a movie based on a book as seen through the lens of the previous Lord of the Rings films. This is not a children’s bedtime story, this is an epic tale that is clearly a prequel to an even more epic tale. The themes have been increased in scope, and in doing so have changed some of the underlying nature of them. Bilbo is still our unlikely hero, but he’s much less...bumbling. In fact, the entire set of dwarves, mostly comical figures apart from Thorin in the book, have become more of a rough and tumble assemblage of adventurers. Thorin is an appropriately brooding “King Without a Kingdom but Gonna Get it Back” fellow. Gandalf is, of all the characters, the least changed. Enigmatic, yet with a twinkle in his eye and a penchant for sage advice, as is befitting a wizard.
The opening narration is a particularly good bit of work. Ian Holmes and Elijah Woods reprise their roles as Old Man (er Hobbit) Bilbo and Frodo in the framing device of “Bilbo finally getting around to writing down his story in full.” Both of the actors looked comfortable back in the roles and I enjoyed it. The transition to “60 years ago” was nicely done. I must say, Martin Freeman does a simply wonderful job as Bilbo, always giving off the right impression I would have for the hero in his situation. In fact, the acting is excellent from almost everyone. The dwarves at the party hits all the correct notes from the book, and the cleanup scene is well executed. From this point however, the movie makes some considerable departures from the book. Oh, none of the main story elements are changed, but...well, I’ll get to it.
Take for example the troll scene. I enjoyed the portrayal of our dear friends Bert, Tom, and Bill Huggins. But the scene is different. The dwarves didn’t lose their baggage when a pony fell in the river, instead Fili and Kili are counting up the ponies and realize two are missing. They draft Bilbo to assist in the recovery. The trolls have taken them, of course. Bilbo sneaks in to try and set them free, but due to a bit of bad luck is found out when he tries to pick pocket a tiny knife (for a troll) to cut the rope for the ponies’ pen. Kili leaps in to try and save him...along with the rest of the dwarves. A frightful row ensues, with the dwarves attacking and beating up the trolls with their many weapons, and only stops when the dwarves are forced to surrender or the trolls will pull Bilbo in half. They are in sacks or tied to a spit, but Bilbo manages to stall them for long enough for Gandalf to show up and smite a boulder in twain, revealing the dawn and turning them to stone.
This scene hit all the basic elements of the scene in the book, and served the same purpose. It showcases Bilbo’s inexperience with adventuring, puts the dwarves in a pickle, and Gandalf saves the day. But it is much more the scene it had to be, viewed through the lens of the previous films, rather than a scene from the book. Bilbo was caught this time, not because he was doing something somewhat foolish in order to impress the dwarves, but some rather unfortunate bad luck (grabbed by the troll when he reached for his handkerchief, which just happened to be right where Bilbo was standing to grab the tiny knife) instead of an enchanted coin purse. It is Bilbo, not Gandalf, who keeps the argument going over how best to cook the dwarves, and he does so directly, rather than trying to sound like the trolls. These dwarves are not the comical lot who get stuffed into sacks, but capable warriors put in a tough position (though they are vastly more comical than say, Gimli). Gandalf doesn’t trick the trolls into taking too much time, he straight up splits a fucking boulder to let the sun in. Don’t get me wrong, the scene is actually a lot of fun, but you can see the alterations made in the name of “seriousing it up” a bit for the movie.
Many of the film’s other scenes are in this vein, making things a bit more serious than they would otherwise have been had the other Lord of the Rings films not existed. There is actually an excellent character moment between Bilbo and Bofur right before the orcs attack them in the cave, but it drives home one of the new themes of the movie: Everyone Needs a Place to Belong. The actors play it well...buuuuuuut it is not exactly Tolkien’s writing here. Same with the entire thing with Azog the Defiler, the Primary Antagonist of this film. There is a whole heaping helping of stuff here that’s dolloped on top of the Hobbit to give it some of the epic scope of the previous films. It’s not badly done, but it seems to be a bit of “trying too hard” to make Thorin into the dwarfiest of all dwarves...for actual reasons as opposed to being stereotyped. There’s a bit during a flashback to the fall of the Lonely Mountain where we learn why Thorin has a severe dislike of elves...which isn’t even in the book to begin with and sets up some antagonism between Thorin and the Wood Elf King in the next film...that doesn’t really NEED setting up. It just seems so...superfluous and a little off putting, making out the Wood Elf King to be “kind of a huge jerk”, way moreso than in the book. Hell, Thorin is totally an asshole to Elrond, when in the BOOK he’s a little standoffish, but otherwise seeks council and rests up for a good long time and they part as friends.
Most of the stuff they added in about the “rise of the Necromancer” and so forth isn’t bad. It’s just..rushed. In the book, the Necromancer is a “far away bad guy who’s been around for a long time” and the reason why Gandalf isn’t with the dwarves for everything after Beorn. This time? Radagast the Brown finds out he’s set up shop in an abandoned fortress and is fucking with Mirkwood. Sauruman dismisses the threat, but Galadriel and Elrond do not take it so lightly. These bits are interesting, but again they “serious up the story” because of how epic the OTHER films were. I know I harp on this a lot, but it really, really changes a LOT of the tone and theme of the story.
Ugh, let’s talk Radagast. I should fucking love this character to death. He’s played by Sylvester “I am the Seventh Doctor” McCoy, and does some interesting wizard shit in the name of healing an animal, has a rabbit drawn sledge, and is all around an eccentric character with some clever tricks, underestimated by his enemies and friends alike. But...he’s got shit all over his face. Radagast lets a couple of birds nest under his hat. The character design for this calls for a veritable RIVER of bird shit to run down one side of his head, face and into his beard. This bothers me on a very fundamental level and I could NOT get over it. In every scene he is in, I just could not stop thinking that he’s gotta bowl you over with his foul bird shit stink. No one EVER calls him out on it, even though it is RIGHT ALL OVER HIS FUCKING FACE and is TOTALLY DISGUSTING. Just awful and it made me hate this character so very much. There’s “eccentric old nature loving hermit wizard” and then there’s “crazy old homeless guy covered in shit.” This falls into the latter category.
On the other side of the spectrum, there is Gollum. GOLLUM. This may be the very best scene in the entire film, is when Bilbo meets Gollum. Andy Serkis nails this performance to the wall, and Gollum is absolutely terrifying. He straight up bludgeons an orc to death with a rock on screen! The dual personality from the other movies is played up a little less here, but is still an essential part of the character. This IS Gollum as he needs to be for this film, given the Gollum from the other films. It is brilliant and wonderful. The other CGI character I enjoyed was the Great Goblin, huge warty pustule covered goiter and all. Just a delightful character, and pretty much spot on from the book too.
The climax of the film is the “Fifteen Birds in Five Fir Trees” scene from the book, but it is VASTLY different from the book, as it is the climax of the film. Everyone heroes it up, though Gandalf’s role is slightly downplayed, and the eagles are shown to be more a tool of the wizard then as acting of their own accord. It’s still a pretty fun showdown and puts the movie in a good place to pick up the story in the next one. Bilbo gets to show why he’s the protagonist of the movie and everyone gets a small moment to shine, all ending on a very clever representation of the Carrock, with a lovely shot of the Lonely Mountain in the distance.
On a scale of five frowny faces to five smiley faces I give this a sold three smiley faces. It did not feel like a three hour movie to me and I enjoyed it very much. However, it is very, very different in a lot of ways from the book, and this may bother people. The main themes of the book are here, and there are some additional ones that add a bit of depth and scope, in keeping with the “movie universe” that the previous films created. Definitely NOT for small kids though. It is PG-13 for a reason.
This film is not the movie of the book. It is a movie based on the book, and more to the point, it is a movie based on a book as seen through the lens of the previous Lord of the Rings films. This is not a children’s bedtime story, this is an epic tale that is clearly a prequel to an even more epic tale. The themes have been increased in scope, and in doing so have changed some of the underlying nature of them. Bilbo is still our unlikely hero, but he’s much less...bumbling. In fact, the entire set of dwarves, mostly comical figures apart from Thorin in the book, have become more of a rough and tumble assemblage of adventurers. Thorin is an appropriately brooding “King Without a Kingdom but Gonna Get it Back” fellow. Gandalf is, of all the characters, the least changed. Enigmatic, yet with a twinkle in his eye and a penchant for sage advice, as is befitting a wizard.
The opening narration is a particularly good bit of work. Ian Holmes and Elijah Woods reprise their roles as Old Man (er Hobbit) Bilbo and Frodo in the framing device of “Bilbo finally getting around to writing down his story in full.” Both of the actors looked comfortable back in the roles and I enjoyed it. The transition to “60 years ago” was nicely done. I must say, Martin Freeman does a simply wonderful job as Bilbo, always giving off the right impression I would have for the hero in his situation. In fact, the acting is excellent from almost everyone. The dwarves at the party hits all the correct notes from the book, and the cleanup scene is well executed. From this point however, the movie makes some considerable departures from the book. Oh, none of the main story elements are changed, but...well, I’ll get to it.
Take for example the troll scene. I enjoyed the portrayal of our dear friends Bert, Tom, and Bill Huggins. But the scene is different. The dwarves didn’t lose their baggage when a pony fell in the river, instead Fili and Kili are counting up the ponies and realize two are missing. They draft Bilbo to assist in the recovery. The trolls have taken them, of course. Bilbo sneaks in to try and set them free, but due to a bit of bad luck is found out when he tries to pick pocket a tiny knife (for a troll) to cut the rope for the ponies’ pen. Kili leaps in to try and save him...along with the rest of the dwarves. A frightful row ensues, with the dwarves attacking and beating up the trolls with their many weapons, and only stops when the dwarves are forced to surrender or the trolls will pull Bilbo in half. They are in sacks or tied to a spit, but Bilbo manages to stall them for long enough for Gandalf to show up and smite a boulder in twain, revealing the dawn and turning them to stone.
This scene hit all the basic elements of the scene in the book, and served the same purpose. It showcases Bilbo’s inexperience with adventuring, puts the dwarves in a pickle, and Gandalf saves the day. But it is much more the scene it had to be, viewed through the lens of the previous films, rather than a scene from the book. Bilbo was caught this time, not because he was doing something somewhat foolish in order to impress the dwarves, but some rather unfortunate bad luck (grabbed by the troll when he reached for his handkerchief, which just happened to be right where Bilbo was standing to grab the tiny knife) instead of an enchanted coin purse. It is Bilbo, not Gandalf, who keeps the argument going over how best to cook the dwarves, and he does so directly, rather than trying to sound like the trolls. These dwarves are not the comical lot who get stuffed into sacks, but capable warriors put in a tough position (though they are vastly more comical than say, Gimli). Gandalf doesn’t trick the trolls into taking too much time, he straight up splits a fucking boulder to let the sun in. Don’t get me wrong, the scene is actually a lot of fun, but you can see the alterations made in the name of “seriousing it up” a bit for the movie.
Many of the film’s other scenes are in this vein, making things a bit more serious than they would otherwise have been had the other Lord of the Rings films not existed. There is actually an excellent character moment between Bilbo and Bofur right before the orcs attack them in the cave, but it drives home one of the new themes of the movie: Everyone Needs a Place to Belong. The actors play it well...buuuuuuut it is not exactly Tolkien’s writing here. Same with the entire thing with Azog the Defiler, the Primary Antagonist of this film. There is a whole heaping helping of stuff here that’s dolloped on top of the Hobbit to give it some of the epic scope of the previous films. It’s not badly done, but it seems to be a bit of “trying too hard” to make Thorin into the dwarfiest of all dwarves...for actual reasons as opposed to being stereotyped. There’s a bit during a flashback to the fall of the Lonely Mountain where we learn why Thorin has a severe dislike of elves...which isn’t even in the book to begin with and sets up some antagonism between Thorin and the Wood Elf King in the next film...that doesn’t really NEED setting up. It just seems so...superfluous and a little off putting, making out the Wood Elf King to be “kind of a huge jerk”, way moreso than in the book. Hell, Thorin is totally an asshole to Elrond, when in the BOOK he’s a little standoffish, but otherwise seeks council and rests up for a good long time and they part as friends.
Most of the stuff they added in about the “rise of the Necromancer” and so forth isn’t bad. It’s just..rushed. In the book, the Necromancer is a “far away bad guy who’s been around for a long time” and the reason why Gandalf isn’t with the dwarves for everything after Beorn. This time? Radagast the Brown finds out he’s set up shop in an abandoned fortress and is fucking with Mirkwood. Sauruman dismisses the threat, but Galadriel and Elrond do not take it so lightly. These bits are interesting, but again they “serious up the story” because of how epic the OTHER films were. I know I harp on this a lot, but it really, really changes a LOT of the tone and theme of the story.
Ugh, let’s talk Radagast. I should fucking love this character to death. He’s played by Sylvester “I am the Seventh Doctor” McCoy, and does some interesting wizard shit in the name of healing an animal, has a rabbit drawn sledge, and is all around an eccentric character with some clever tricks, underestimated by his enemies and friends alike. But...he’s got shit all over his face. Radagast lets a couple of birds nest under his hat. The character design for this calls for a veritable RIVER of bird shit to run down one side of his head, face and into his beard. This bothers me on a very fundamental level and I could NOT get over it. In every scene he is in, I just could not stop thinking that he’s gotta bowl you over with his foul bird shit stink. No one EVER calls him out on it, even though it is RIGHT ALL OVER HIS FUCKING FACE and is TOTALLY DISGUSTING. Just awful and it made me hate this character so very much. There’s “eccentric old nature loving hermit wizard” and then there’s “crazy old homeless guy covered in shit.” This falls into the latter category.
On the other side of the spectrum, there is Gollum. GOLLUM. This may be the very best scene in the entire film, is when Bilbo meets Gollum. Andy Serkis nails this performance to the wall, and Gollum is absolutely terrifying. He straight up bludgeons an orc to death with a rock on screen! The dual personality from the other movies is played up a little less here, but is still an essential part of the character. This IS Gollum as he needs to be for this film, given the Gollum from the other films. It is brilliant and wonderful. The other CGI character I enjoyed was the Great Goblin, huge warty pustule covered goiter and all. Just a delightful character, and pretty much spot on from the book too.
The climax of the film is the “Fifteen Birds in Five Fir Trees” scene from the book, but it is VASTLY different from the book, as it is the climax of the film. Everyone heroes it up, though Gandalf’s role is slightly downplayed, and the eagles are shown to be more a tool of the wizard then as acting of their own accord. It’s still a pretty fun showdown and puts the movie in a good place to pick up the story in the next one. Bilbo gets to show why he’s the protagonist of the movie and everyone gets a small moment to shine, all ending on a very clever representation of the Carrock, with a lovely shot of the Lonely Mountain in the distance.
On a scale of five frowny faces to five smiley faces I give this a sold three smiley faces. It did not feel like a three hour movie to me and I enjoyed it very much. However, it is very, very different in a lot of ways from the book, and this may bother people. The main themes of the book are here, and there are some additional ones that add a bit of depth and scope, in keeping with the “movie universe” that the previous films created. Definitely NOT for small kids though. It is PG-13 for a reason.
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