Thursday, June 6, 2019

Kotas Reviews Bang Black Cherry Vanilla

Well, it's been a loooong while since I posted something, because of a wide variety of things that have impeded my time. Still, it is my fondest hope that it is all behind me and I can start anew! So of course I had to have an energy drink for all of this. Lo and behold, Bang once again rears its chemical head. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's have a gander at Bang Black Cherry Vanilla.

The color scheme is on point at least.
Who would have ever thought a product most certainly not named after a They Might Be Giants song would warrant three separate reviews, eh? Not this little reviewer, that's for sure. Still, I bought multiple cans initially and they all had to get used at some point. Might as well be now. After the last review of Bang's products, this one is pretty mundane. Logo prominently placed, color scheme isn't jarring. The flavor name is actually a flavor that can be identified. This whole thing is a big step up from Rainbow Unicorn. Let's crack it open.

Still clear for reasons I cannot understand
Well, not much to say here. The beverage is still clear as glass. I get it was probably never envisioned as being consumed outside the can, but even Red Bull has SOME color to it when you pour it out. The fact that it is clear just bugs me on some sort of fundamental level. The scent is super artificial cherry with some vanilla extract overtones, and the taste itself backs that play with a vengeance. Further, the aftertaste is that bizarre chemical flavor that almost all 'energy drinks" have at least some of, but man is it strong. It is much more tart than many "cherry" flavored drinks, and it has some sort of awful artificial sweetener in it. I'll give it this though, it tastes mostly like what it says it tastes like. It will still give your body a kick in the teeth and wake you up, but not in a good way. 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 Frowny Face. It's not good exactly, but it is pretty much what it says it is. If I were desperate to wake up, pounding down one of these isn't the worst way to pep yourself up, but I would probably pick something else if I could. If you are curious, pick one up, but it's not worth going out of your way for.

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