Thursday, February 14, 2019

Kotas Reviews Dark Chocolate Oreos

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Who knew that a day in remembrance of a Catholic priest who ministered to Christians when it was illegal, and was beheaded for it, would turn into one of the biggest days of the year for confectioners everywhere, eh? Think about that while you gnaw your chalk-like hearts today. Still, today we review something only vaguely related to the holiday at hand: Dark Chocolate Oreos!

FUUUUUCK YES.
I love dark chocolate. Even the waxy bullcrap that Hershey's dares refer to as dark chocolate, I even love that. So you have to understand that the VERY MOMENT I saw these, I HAD to have them. My hype was real and I had a mighty need to shove these in my face as fast as a man can. But, we must exercise some restraint here. The packaging is as basic as it gets. It's an Oreo. It has purportedly dark chocolate filling. What else is there to say? RIP IT OPEN, I'M GOIN' IN!

The stegosaurus plate adds just the right touch of dignity.
Yup, that's dark chocolate. It is noticeably darker than regular old chocolate Oreos, which is nice. Fails horribly at the twist off test, but I suppose it matters less when the cookie and the filling are the same color. beat OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM....

FUCK YES these are amazing. I have always been of the opinion that nothing could really top the original Oreo as my all time favorite, but you know what? These are legitimately the single BEST Oreo Nabisco has put out. The chocolate flavor is fucking spot on with that nice little bit of bitter and cocoa, but enough sweetness to make it the perfect chocolate cookie in the mouth. Holy Shit These Cookies! If it weren't for the fact that other people wanted to eat them, I would have hugged the package to my chest, growled at anyone who came near, and messily devoured the whole package. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 4 Smiley Faces. Yes, they are that damn good. The only better cookies I've had in the chocolate category have been homemade ones (and those are way nicer than these), but for store bought? GIMME GIMME GIMME COOKIES!

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