Kotas Reviews Ole Smoky Pumpkin Pie Moonshine

There comes a time in every person's life when the world seems dimmer than usual. When the cold seeps farther into the bones than you once thought it did. When the howling of uncounted centuries seems to ring in your ears, as the last fading rays of sunlight vanish and you are left in the empty, quiet darkness of your own making. Also, you wanna get shitfaced like a boss, so you turn to the only solace available from a mason jar: Moonshine! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's drink some 'shine! Pumpkin Pie Moonshine!

Existential Despair Not Included

Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. This stuff is 40 proof, which is, in the words of Albert Einstein, "pretty fuckin' weak". Most liquor starts at 80 proof and then moves on up the scale from there, though some flavored rums and vodkas come in at 70 or even 60 proof. Still, you can do a couple of shots of this and NOT fall on your ass immediately, so that's a plus! I must admit that pumpkin pie is an odd choice of flavoring for any drink, let alone MOONSHINE, but hey, who am I to judge? 

Ole Smoky was the first licensed distillery in East Tennessee, once Tennessee state law was altered to allow distillation of moonshine. It comes in a mason jar, and while the original White Lightning is a rockin' 100 proof, the various flavors range from 100 all the way down to 40 proof, like today's example. I admit I don't have a lot of experience with moonshine, and this is my first taste of it. Good times, eh? Let's see it!

Because a shot is the only real way to go here.

It smells like a Yankee Candle Truck hit a liquor store, very fake pumpkin and wax overtones. I almost feel like I should be putting this in a potpourri bowl instead of getting ready to drink it. The color is exactly what I would expect though. This stuff tastes exactly like it smells, plasticy and cloying, like I imagine the liquid you would add to a scented candle to give it the pumpkin scent would taste like. It is not undrinkable, but it certainly isn't good. 

On the Face Rating System, this gets 2 frowny faces. Not only does it taste terrible, it won't even get you drunk fast so you'd have to taste a LOT of it before you stopped caring. If you took all the hatred of pumpkins some people had, concentrated it into liquid form, and then added booze, you might get something that resembles this. Definitely not recommended, but if you are feeling very brave and don't have to pay for it, you might have a sip. Or you might get some actual real booze to drink instead of this garbage.