Kotas Reviews Swedish Fish Oreos

There comes a time in every reviewer's life when they reach a pinnacle of accomplishment or experience. Once they've reviewed something that epitomizes what their whole reviewing career has been leading up to, one of two things will happen. They will sometimes quit reviewing, moving on to other tasks, since at this point, what more could they possibly do? Or they will be reinvigorated and seek ever higher peaks of their craft. Which one will this one be, I wonder? Ladies, Gentlemen, Children of All Ages, today we review...Swedish Fish Oreos!

This is my unicorn folks. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Look at it. LOOK AT IT. My goodness isn't it just MAGNIFICENT? This may very well be the Holy Grail of Weird Food Reviews, and it's not even a clever PhotoShop job. Who would have ever guessed THIS would be a thing? It's the kind of idea a 7 year old has at Halloween when they get Oreos and Swedish Fish and OF COURSE it's a great idea to eat both of them together. And some executive at Nabsico approved it. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I love me some Swedish Fish. These little gummy morsels that look remarkably fish like have a delicious unique flavor that I mostly describe as red. They taste like red. They are classified as a wine gum candy, similar to gumdrops without the sugar coating. Chewy, slightly chemically, and oh so nomable, they are one of the few candies I enjoy any time of day. They also have a label molded right on them, in case you forgot the nationality of the candy you were greedily devouring. 

Anyway, Swedish Fish are a product of the Swedish (natch) candy maker Malaco, and are mostly sold as a pick n' mix bulk candy there. They also have different flavors elsewhere in the world, but I haven't yet seen anything other than red in the United States. The flavor is unknown, though the speculation says it might be lingonberry. Anyway, I love the things, but I am really unsure how well they match with the almost opposing flavor of the Oreo. The packaging is spot on with both the Swedish Fish and Oreo logos sharing space above a full on Swedish fish and its namesake Oreo. Let's eat.

The very essence of magnificence.

Well damn if they don't smell like Swedish Fish and Oreos being in the same bag. In fact, the odor is so powerful that other sweets pick it up if they stay in an enclosed area. I put one of these in a plastic baggie overnight along with some sugar cookies my daughter helped make, and the whole lot of them tasted vaguely of Swedish Fish afterwards. They got the smell right, is what I'm saying. The creme is almost a perfect match on the shade of red of a Swedish Fish, but it fails every twist off test I put it to, including the one shown above. 

It was with some trepidation that I started eating these. Would they be like peanut butter and chocolate, and meld together in delicious harmony? Or would it be more like peanut butter and olive oil, delicious apart but yakktacular together. Well, I can safely tell you, they are edible. They taste EXACTLY like eating an Oreo at the exact same time as a Swedish Fish. However, I don't think this is necessarily a GOOD thing that it is Exactly What It Says On The Tin. The flavors do not mix together at all, with the chemical fruitiness of the Swedish Fish clashing tremendously with the creamy chocolate flavors present in your typical Oreo. It's just so odd tasting. It's not bad exactly, in that I didn't spit it out, and I did finish the package (and bought a second one to inflict share with some friends), but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't buy them just to eat, but they do at least hold one characteristic shared by both their parents: They are weirdly addictive for reasons I can't explain or understand. 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 Faces. Nabisco knocked it out of the park in achieving exactly what they set out to do, but the actual product that emerged from this unholy alliance of Swedish Fish and Oreos is just off putting and strange. I would however probably eat a package of them if you gave them to me, and may even feel compelled to eat them. It's like I'm trying to puzzle out how they accomplished this feat of bakegineering by simply eating MORE of it. Give it a whirl if you like Swedish Fish AND Oreos, but people who do NOT like Swedish Fish will absolutely hate these. Oh, and don't put it in milk. Yakktacular indeed.