Kotas Reviews the Hot Dog Bites Pizza

Food trends have been all about the combination items as of late. Croissants and Doughnuts. Red Velvet in things that should not be Red Velvet. Chicken Fries. We Americans are constantly finding foods we like and cramming them together to see which pairings are delightful and which lead us down some dark paths. Here in 'Murica, we love shoving things into other things and seeing what happens With that in mind, let's look at today's subject. The Pizza Hut Hot Dog Bites Pizza.

It's a piiie. IT'S A PIIIIIIIIIE! HAHAHAHAHA!

Look at all that majesty! Not since the rumored cheeseburger crust pizza has the world been turned upside down in such a manner. I know of no one who said "You know, pizza is delicious, but how awesome would it be if the crust were made up of pigs in a blanket?" and yet, here we are. The Hot Dog Bites pizza comes in two varieties: Regular and Pretzel. Naturally, this being the blog that it is, I went with the pretzel option. Because 'MURICA.

Pictured here with blueberries because...freedom.

Aside from the visual glory of the hot dog segments, this pizza is your typical Pizza Hut thin crust. Greasy, chewy, and covered in meat. It's pretty good, as I've always liked their underrated thin crust offering, and what could be more "American standard" than a pepperoni pizza? NOTHING, that's what! But that's not what you are here for. You wanna know about the hot dog bites. 

Honestly? They are fairly tasty. More like a pig in a blanket than an actual hot dog, they have a nice smokiness that goes pretty well with the chewy pretzel. They are way salty though, and that does detract a bit from the experience. A little honey mustard sauce fixes that problem up right quick! What amazes me the most is how well the damn things act as a crust. You can totally eat this like a normal pizza and it will work, though the occasional Vienna Sausage-esque passenger may attempt an escape from its soft pretzely tomb. Well played, Pizza Hut. Well played!

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 smiley face. It is super salty in its pretzel formation, but it has novelty that actually works without detracting from the pizza itself. It's not something I'm going to want to eat all the time, but I would like to have it again so I can compare the pretzel and non-pretzel varieties. Heck, the lack of salt might even bump it up a smiley. I think it would also work well with a more vegetable laden pizza, but not too many toppings. This is a thin crust after all. If you don't like thin crust pizza though, you probably won't like this. Skip the breadsticks with this one. There's a whole meal in two slices of this beast.