Sunday, February 2, 2014

Kotas Reviews the District 12 Chocolate Bar

Welcome to Day 6 of the Hunger Reviews! Today we wrap up our sojourn into the freakish world of designer candy movie tie-ins with the final bar I was able to get my hands on. Will it tantalize? Will it enrapture? Will it be fucking boring as shit instead? Let's find out!

Reuse of mix-ins? FOR SHAME WILD OPHELIA!

Well, the label is on par with almost all of the other labels, so I can't really complain too much. This is Yet Another Salted Chocolate Bar and it shows nothing like the creativity shown in the last chocolate bar I tried. Salt and Milk Chocolate eh? Well, they failed miserably the last time they tried to salt chocolate, let's find out if this will be pleasure or poison.

My money is on poison.

The bar is still that same, stupid, boring pattern with not a single outstanding thing to show that this is different from any other chocolate bar. It smells of milk chocolate and...that's pretty much it. Guess what? It tastes like milk chocolate and that's pretty much it. If the salt adds anything to this bar, I certainly couldn't tell. The texture was at least smooth and not gritty like the other salted chocolate bar, so it has that going for it. This might very well be the single most boring piece of fancy chocolate I've ever consumed. It is certainly not worth $5, and I'm not even sure it was worth the $2.50 I paid for it, but it IS a step above Ye Olde Hershey's. 

On the FACE Rating System, this bar gets 0 faces on sheer dullness. I can't hate it, because there are no outstanding features to hate, but I can't like it for the same reason. You'd be better off just buying one of those giant Cadbury bars and actually enjoying yourself. 

So ends the Hunger Reviews with 6 bars competing and only 2 showing anything like promise. The average FACE Rating for all of these is 0 faces, and I cannot recommend people bother picking them up, at least at their full price. You might hit up the District 5 and District 10 bars for reasonably tasty and/or interesting choices, but the others? Meh to AUUUUUUGH. 



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