Kotas Reviews Sailor Boy Pilot Bread

There are those among my friends and acquaintances who would call me a gourmand. After all, this blog is proof that I go out of my way to sample new and interesting (if not always tasty) foodstuffs. Unfortunately for them, I cannot state that I am. While I might in fact be a foodie, albeit one with a very warped sense of what consists of "food", my palate is about as refined as plywood. So what better way to put all this to the test than to sample some fuckin' hard tack? Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Sailor Boy Pilot Bread.

He's very jaunty, that Sailor Boy.

So, I love crackers. Wheat, oyster, buttered, water, or saltine I am a huge fan of most forms of cracker. This probably stems from my adoration of bread, but I love crackers. One type I've never tried, mostly because why would any sane person desire it, is the humble hard tack biscuit. A very simple product made of flour, salt, and a touch of water, then baked hard to serve as a source of stored calories for soldiers and sailors, hard tack was one of the first formalized forms of rations for various wars in the past. Civil War enthusiasts make it for various reenactments, but since the military switched over to canning it hasn't been too popular. It is noted for its extremely long shelf life, durability, and difficulty in eating. What it is not known for is flavor. Well, occasionally I get interested in "old timey" stuff (curse you Jas Townsend & Sons) and saw a bit about hard tack. Now, I'm a lazy man at heart, so I went looking around for some to buy. Lo and behold, Sailor Boy Pilot Bread came up as one of the only commercially available hard tack esque product around. And hey, it's on Amazon! So I ended up buying a 2 pound box. The artwork is delightfully "retro". I'm sure it's fine. Let's see what they look like!

With peanut butter jar lid for scale.

Well, look at those beauties! These things are quite sizable and thick, much thicker than things I normally consider to be crackers. They are slightly greasy to the touch too, probably because of the palm oil used to make them. Historical side note, oil in hard tack isn't really a thing, but these are not exactly authentic hard tack. Still, they do maintain some of the properties of such, like long shelf life, and durability. However, the real question is: how do they taste? The answer might shock you!

Well, probably not. They taste a lot like unsalted crackers. It's nothing to write home about, but they are decent enough crackers if you like something more substantial than saltines. They go well with soups and stews, and can add body when broken into smaller pieces. Bland, but fairly nourishing, with each cracker weighing in at a hefty 100 calories each. I can see why survival minded folk would like having these around. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 Smiley Face. I do actually like the flavor, but most of that is my rampant bread lust shining through, as these have a much more breadlike flavor than most crackers to me. They aren't anything more than they seem to be, and that suits me just fine. Give 'em a try if you get a chance, but don't go crazy. They will keep a very long time, so they would be great in as part of a flood or tornado kit. Also good for warding away Wendigos, or so I've heard. Anyone else feeling a bit peckish all of a sudden?