Kotas Reviews Gingerbread Oreos....Again

 It's Christmas Eve everyone! What could be more Christmas-y on this night than Milk and Cookies! And what better cookies to leave out for a fat guy in a red suit than Oreos! Like, seriously roughly half their marketing budget goes to convincing children that, rather than hand made cookies filled with love, what Santa really wants is mass market sandwich cookies! And you know what? It's not necessarily wrong, given what a shill Santa is for Coca-Cola. So, let's talk Christmas Flavored Cookies, eh? Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dig into Gingerbread Oreos...Again

These are very different from the "Four Years Ago" edition.

You know, usually when Nabisco reissues an Oreo flavor, it's just the same thing again. Sometimes these reissues turn into regular flavors, such as with the Lemon and Mint Oreos. This is a much rarer re-release, because these gingerbread Oreos are completely unlike the ones from 4 years ago. Those were vanilla Oreos with gingerbread creme. These are gingerbread Oreos with "regular creme with bits". Literally the only thing they share is the name. The package here is much more interesting. The traditional Oreo blue and white, but with a lovely gingerbread house and a picture of the cookie itself. Looks good! But how does it look on the inside? Let's find out.

I always have a soft spot for little pictures on my cookies.

You know what? I like these cookies. They look great with the little "winter" designs on them. The "subtle" messaging continues since they have "Oreos for Santa" on at least one of them, and they smell like a pretty decent commercial gingerbread. Kudos on the look and odor. Still, how do they taste? Well, a lot like a frosted gingerbread cookie. I don't particularly like the "sugar bits" in the creme, because I hate gritty food, but it's not bad. Tastes a lot like commercial gingerbread cookies with icing. Which is pretty decent. A lot better than the last outing Nabsico.

One the FACE Rating System, this gets 2 Smiley Faces. Pretty good, but not something I would want outside of the Christmas Season. Miles beyond their last effort in this space though. If you like gingerbread cookies, go get these and enjoy them! I sure did.

Kotas Reviews Peppermint Bark Oreos

Winter has certainly settled in, after that weird "warm snap" at the beginning of the new year. It's cold, wet, and ugly out, and I'm not happy with it. Still, this is the kind of weather that turns one's fancy toward hot chocolate and peppermints by the fire, under the warm glow of whatever show it is you are streaming on your giant HDTV. The simple life right? Eh, fuck that. Let's eat Oreos. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Peppermint Bark Oreos.

Extra Fancy this go around.

For some reason, my in-laws always have a tin of "fancy yet generic at the same time" peppermint bark around Christmas time. It's a fine candy and all, but it's nothing to get too excited about. Still, it's pretty tasty and tends to pair fairly well with other things: coffee, other candy, the warmth and love of a family evening spent posting on social media. You know, the classical holiday stuff. So, naturally we have to somehow condense all that into a cookie manufactured by a corporate conglomerate. Well, the packaging is pretty good. Large pictures of the "item flavor", along with examples of the actual product, good font choices, the whole thing. Nabisco generally does a good job here and this is no exception. Let's rip it open!

Yup. That's an Oreo with candy cane bits in it.

The cookies themselves look like bog standard Oreos with pulverized candy canes added to the filling. I mean, that's probably what I expected but it's still kind of meh. The flavor however is very nice. The peppermint bits add a little texture, and the mint flavor is definitely there, but it's not overwhelming or dominating. It pairs very well with the dark chocolate flavor of the cookie. A solid little package of taste, and a bit refreshing. Good job Nabisco!

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Smiley Faces. Tasty, somewhat addictive, and perfect for any holiday gathering. I wouldn't want them all the time, but as soon as the air turns frosty, I will probably find myself reaching for these. And they taste great dipped in hot chocolate. Happy Winter!

Kotas Reviews Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos

Man, it's be a crazy year for Oreos, eh? Lots of new flavors, contest controversy and several returning limited editions, such as Cinnamon Roll, that appear to be falling into the "seasonal" brand label. Still, it doesn't mean there aren't dozens of other flavors to explore! I'm sure we're not at all sick of them yet. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dive into Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos.

New!

Well, here we are. Another pie flavored Oreo. Past examples haven't really conveyed a lot of "pie-ness", but there's only so much you can do with a cookie. Frankly, I think they are just using it to denote "graham cookie" instead of a vanilla or chocolate cookie. Whatever. The package looks fine, but much like Bioware games generally have a decent story, Nabisco doesn't get to crow about their excellent packaging anymore. In fact, it's sort of expected that Oreo packaging will be good from now on. Still, that's quite a pie they are displaying, eh? Let's see what lies inside!

It's the little differences that count.

Well, I can't say I'm shocked. It looks about what I'd expect a chocolate peanut butter cookie to look like. I'm not a fan of the "split color" look, but it does make for an obvious comparison. I personally think they should just have it split length wise, and do a half-layer of chocolate and a half-layer of peanut butter, laid down so that each bite gets some of each type of creme. Oh well, maybe that's harder than this weird dollop half method. Definitely smells of peanut butter and graham cracker, but the chocolate really isn't present in the scent.

Upon tasting them, they mostly taste like a peanut butter cookie. The graham flavor comes through, certainly, but there is little to no chocolate about these cookies, no matter what the color of the creme says. The peanut butter flavor is overwhelming, tasting a lot like Nutter Butter cookies, but not quite. There is something that might be chocolate in there if you really concentrate, but otherwise? Non-existent. It's not terrible, if you like peanut butter cookies, but it's certainly nothing special or Oreo-y. I think the traditional chocolate cookie would have been a lot better here, or even one chocolate cookie and one graham cookie. As it stands, it's an Oreo trying really hard to be a Nutter Butter cookie. Don't quit your day job, Oreo.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 Faces. It's fine, I guess, but I don't think the world needed a More Different Peanut Butter Oreo. If you want a peanut butter creme cookie with a bit of chocolate, just dip a Nutter Butter into a chocolate spread and enjoy that. 

Kotas Reviews Kettle Corn Oreos

Man, I don't know how Nabisco does it. They have been cranking out Oreo flavors so fast my head is spinning and my pancreas cries out in horror. I mean, sheesh people! Let us have a bit of a breather! Maybe eat something else for once! Oh well, onward ho, right? Today's specimen is a weird one anyway. Let's dive right in to Kettle Corn Oreos.

Sure, why the hell not? EVERYTHING IS WEIRD NOW.

I'll lay it out for you, I'm not a big fan of kettle corn. It always claims to be "salty-sweet" or something but every time I've had it there has been something a little off with it. I can never quite place what exactly is wrong but I've never had a Kettle Corn Experience that rose above the level of "Well, I guess it's fine" and usually go into the "meh" bucket. So I can honestly say I did not have high hopes for a cookie version of it. How would they get the savory bits into a freakin' Oreo? Oh well, at least the packaging is nice. Still, I've come to accept that Nabsico's food package art standard is high. Let's rip it open.

HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?!

Yeah, it's about what I expected. Vanilla cookie, some sort of sweet creme...wait, are those actual bits of popcorn in there? Why, yes it...oh, it's puffed millet. Says so on the package. Still, that's an awfully strong commitment to theme and I can respect that. There is a VERY "cereal grain" scent over this, that kind of reminds me of Corn Pops cereal. Sweet and corny, just like I like my pick up lines. Anyway, let's eat!

You know, I'm a proud man. One given to strong opinions and a strong defense of those opinions. I pride myself on having at least some idea of what I'm talking about, and I like to think that my food opinions are respected. Today I have to take my hat off to Nabisco, for giving me something I didn't even know I wanted. For you see fellow food explorers, these cookies taste nothing like Kettle Corn. However they do taste almost exactly like Corn Pops in cookie form. I LOVE Corn Pops. They are one of my favorite breakfast cereals, but having them in a cookie? Well friends, this is delicious. You may not have nailed "kettle corn" Nabisco, but ya done real good. I salute you.

On the FACE Rating Scale, these get 2 Corned Smiley Faces. It ain't exactly kettle corn, but it is much better than actually having kettle corn flavor in my opinion. If you were expecting actual kettle corn flavor, look elsewhere, but you will be missing out on a darn good cookie. Who would have guessed, eh?

Kotas Reviews Pina Colada Oreos

Well, that was a great two weeks of Spring we had wasn't it, eh? Alas, actual nice weather is very rapidly giving way to the muggy hot soupiness of Summer. However, the return of Demon Summer does bring with it a predilection for tropical drinks on a beach. Unfortunately, there's none of that crap 'round here, so I guess I'll have to settle for like the 15th best thing. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a gander at Pina Colada Oreos!

Better than getting caught in the rain, maybe.

So we have yet another drink themed Oreo to deal with this year. What is it with Oreos and drinks lately? Who put you up to this guys? Oh, right. Well, we'll just step away from that and focus on what's in front of us, shall we? Honestly, as much as I love rum, I'm not a fan of coconut and so the pina colada has held little fascination for me. It can be quite refreshing on a hot day under two or three suns worth of heat, but I don't really seek them out. My grandmother was very fond of them and would always get them when we went out to eat on Florida vacations. This one's for you, Grandma. Sadly, I think that much like the majority of my adult life, it's gonna be a little disappointing for you.

She would have appreciated that joke. If not the awful color palette here.

The choice of "thin" here was a good one I feel. These kind of things are such that a little goes a Looooong Way into flavor country. The vanilla cookie also compliments rather than contrasts with flavors like coconut, and "chocolate" has no place in a pina colada, no matter what Applebee's might say. The scent coming off of these things is pure "store bought pina colada mixer", so it's got that going for it. Let's have a bite!

Yeah, this is basically pina colada mix in cookie cream format smeared on vanilla cookies. I must give credit where credit is due in that they created exactly what they set out to create. Sadly, what they set out to create is something I neither wanted nor particularly like. At least it doesn't have a huge chemical taste to it, unlike the Cherry Cola ones. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this 0 Faces. It is exactly what it says on the tin package, but it's just not something I like. It's not offensive, just not for me. If you have a hankerin' for pina colada mix, these are probably right up your alley. I'll just be three alleys over drinking rum. 

Kotas Reviews Cherry Cola Oreos

While not the first time a major corporation had some sort of "competition" to see what new flavors of a product would be hitting store shelves later on, the Frito-Lay, "Do Us a Flavor" campaign was the first to make it a semi-regular occurrence on the grocery store shelves. Pretty soon, everyone was getting into the act. So, I guess Nabisco had to horn in on that particular market as well! Let's eat some more Oreos. Ladies and Gentleman, today we pop open Cherry Cola Oreos.

 

Looks like I'm going to have to JUMP!

Le sigh. Honestly, I'm getting sort of burnt out on Oreo flavors. There are just so many that if you squint they almost all run together in a panoply of ever more ridiculous ideas to sandwich between two wafer cookies. Still, I must applaud them for continually putting out new and interesting, if not always the best tasting, products. This particular endeavor marks the first time that I know of where Nabisco solicited ideas from the general public. Kudos to you for having gone years without having to do this to shore up flagging sales! Ahem. 

Well, the packaging is good. Not amazing, but it gets the job done. Cherry. Cola. Cherry and Cola together. Oreos that are colored. Serviceable. Now, cherry cola is a secret pleasure from my youth. before its introduction as an actual product in 1985, Cherry Coke was something that the local Ponderosa Steak House used to offer as something of treat for the kiddos, of which I was one. I loved that iteration, and I loved it in a can or from a fountain when Coke made it a staple of their line. Oh what happy times. I'm not as huge a fan these days, as it's a bit sweeter than I like in a soda, but it's still good and invokes fond memories. Will these cookies stack up? Let's rip it open.

Well, I guess they couldn't color the white icing brown in this case...not that it's stopped them before.

Well, it smells a lot like those fake cola gummy things mixed with chocolate cookie upon opening the package. It's not bad, but quite artificial. These things twist off pretty easy, exposing the dual red and white filling. Supposedly, these have pop rock type candies in them to give them a "fizz". I'm sure that's fine. Let's eat! 

First, these are incredibly artificial. There's some fake cherry flavor, a heaping helping of fake cola flavor, and something resembling a standard Oreo underneath. The pop rock bits dutifully fizz in the food hole, as promised. However, it is all topped with this nauseating chemical taste that is fighting a war with the other flavors for dominance. It hasn't won yet, but man is it giving it its all. It tastes like what I imagine a trench warfare battlefield in Candy Land would taste like. Sweet and disturbing all at once. No thank you.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Frowny Faces. I didn't spit it out, but I only had few cookies out of obligation to try and understand the flavor. The rest were foisted off on relatives for disposal. Others have claimed they "aren't bad", but I really didn't care for them. Not poison, but totally not worth it. Unless you want to experience the hellscape that is War in the Gumdrop Mountains.

Kotas Reviews Apple Pie Oreos

We're deep into fall now my hearties! At least, I THOUGHT we were, until this touch of summer came back to haunt us. Damn it, Summer. Let Autumn have its turn! Still, the progress of food products continues, as we enter that most dreaded of flavor seasons, Pumpkin Spice. So screw that, let's have a pie! Or at least, something resembling pie? Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time we looked at Apple Pie Oreos.

As American as...uh, itself. I guess.

It's no secret that I love pie, and a well made apple pie is truly one of the pinnacles of piecraft. Still, apple is one of those flavors that, even when it's kinda bad, it's still pretty good. Plus, it hasn't really been "done" as a flavor much, with the more popular Green Apple and Caramel Apple flavors having their day in the sun. I like most any apple pie, though I concede it is often very difficult to eat in a convenient way if you are "sans flatware". If only there was some sort of way to get all that flavor into a small, portable package you could eat with just your hands! Oh wait...

Well, the packaging is pretty good. I would have expected the base color to be yellow, but the nice big ol' slice of apple pie stands out nicely from the blue. The little ribbon design stating these are Graham cookies (WHERE IS MY KEY LIME OREO NABISCO? WHERE?) calls back to pie contests and the cookie image...is there. Let's open it up.

Well, it's very..beige.

This is not the best color I've seen on a cookie. It's okay, but beige makes me think of "house about to be sold so any personality has to be covered by blandness". The scent is apple-graham-ish, which you know, makes sense. I guess the graham part is supposed to be a graham cracker crust, but apple pies aren't generally known for their graham cracker crust (KEY LIME PIE OREO! IT SCREAMS AT YOU NABISCO!). It is a better choice than the standard "vanilla" cookie, so let's just give them the benefit of the doubt here. How does it taste?

It does taste like apple pie, just not the apple pie you'd expect. So, a McDonald's apple pie is loosely a pie, and more a turnover. It also has a distinct "fake flavor" chemical taste along with the hyper sugarized apple taste. That is exactly what these cookies remind me of, so I guess mission accomplished? Is this actually what I wanted? I don't know, better eat a couple more. Also, my kid likes them, which is always a plus.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Smiley Faces. They are in fact Apple Pie Cookies, though I don't think this is exactly what I had in mind when I envisioned an apple pie in cookie form. They are sweet, and different, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to get them, except maybe for a fall themed party or something like that. I've eaten a few, and I really see no need to eat any more, but they are different and who knows? Maybe you will love them.

Kotas Reviews PB & J Oreos

Some foods were always meant to go together. Chocolate and Peanut Butter, Bread and Butter, Rum and Coke, all famous the world over and about as basic a combo as you can make. Two great tastes that just so happen to taste even Greater together, and become a staple recipe for years. So clearly we have to somehow cram this into a food that isn't remotely like either of the other two. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's reveal the mysteries of Peanut Butter and Jelly Oreos.

Because this is the face of Science.

I have a very strange relationship with peanut butter and jelly. It was a staple of my childhood lunchbox, because it was easy and quick for my mom to make, but when I got old enough I tended to leave off the jelly and just go nuts with peanut butter. To this day I am addicted to peanut butter sandwiches but only rarely, usually when I'm feeling nostalgic (or someone else made some) will I bother with the jelly side of this all time classic recipe. I can however tell you that I never, EVER considered that it might be a dessert flavoring. Oh well, let's take a peak, shall we?

The packaging is pretty bog standard on this one. Oreo logo, nominal picture of particular food and a cookie version of that same food. What throws me off here is the little green call out box that explicitly tells you what the cookie is trying to do. If a cookie has to spell out its concept for you, that does not indicate that it is confident in what it is, ya know? Let's open it.

Lackluster...that is the word I'm looking for.

I can see why they went with a Golden Oreo base here. Chocolate, while great with peanut butter, is probably not the best choice when paired with jelly flavoring. The vanilla here doesn't really match either, but it won't overwhelm the flavor of the creme. I have to say, going for the "split" look here has failed on a number of levels, because it looks so...slapdash. Like they threw some jelly flavor juice on the usual peanut butter filling and went "Ta da!". Not appetizing at all. Let's eat, I guess.

You know, I'm not a fan of peanut butter cookies really. They are okay, but finding a really good one is hard to do so I generally just don't bother. This variant is actually worse then that. The peanut butter tastes like...well it tastes like those revolting orange and black taffy bits wrapped in orange and black paper that always show up around Halloween for some reason despite maybe 1 in 100 people actually enjoying them. The completely artificial jelly flavor on top of that is...not helpful, and its sickeningly sweet TotallyNotGrape flavor makes the whole thing taste like solidified angst. No. Just...no.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Frowny Faces. Absolutely bad, but just "I really don't like this flavor" bad and not "OH GOD IT'S POISON" bad. This is probably one of those love it or hate it flavors too, because when I disposed of this trash by leaving it in the break room at work and my co-workers LOVED them. I personally say skip 'em, but if you are curious be my guest and try them out. Just don't save any for me.

Kotas Reviews Dunkin Donuts Mocha Oreos

Coffee. Lifeblood of our modern society and savior of our sanity in times of strife. Having once worked in a coffee shop as a young barista, I gained an appreciation for coffee I hadn't known before, and I can tell you, it has made a world of difference to me. I like coffee is what I'm saying. But, can it still be good as a cookie? Who the hell knows! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Dunkin' Donuts Mocha Oreos.

Iced Mocha? REALLY?

Well, we have Yet Another Dunkin' Donuts themed limited edition Oreo for our eating pleasure, don't we? The last time we tried something themed after a doughnut shop was also a mocha flavor, and yet so far they haven't sponsored anything that tastes like, you know, doughnuts. Odd that. Anyway, I have to wonder at the choice to display and Iced Mocha as the "mocha" version they were going with for this cookie. I guess because it would be more visible that a hot mocha? Whatever, it's fine. Let's crack it open!

One of these things is...exactly like the others...

Yup, smells like chocolate Oreos with a hint of coffee flavor, which is right on target for a mocha. The taste is spot on too. A good ratio of coffee to chocolate flavoring, with maybe a bit more on the chocolate side that the coffee one, but still pretty darn tasty! The creme by itself though isn't very strongly coffee flavored though, which I find odd. I mean, usually the creme is much more intensely flavored and the cookie helps mellow it and make it more well rounded. This time? The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Sadly, these are kind of terrible dipped in milk. The coffee flavor completely falls away and the chocolate part is also super muted. However, dipped in coffee? These are fantastic! It's like a coffee shop in my mouth and THEY ARE MINE GO THE FUCK AWAY! MINE MINE MINE! Ahem...

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Smiley Faces. Pretty darn tasty, good in coffee, and wonderfully munchable, these are coffee cookies done well. If you like coffee, and most of you do, go out and get some today! Your tummy will thank you! Your coffee with thank you! Your milk...will not.

Kotas Reviews Jelly Donut Oreos

National Doughnut Day has come and gone. Ostensibly a holiday to celebrate the glory of the humble doughnut, it's really just a marketing scheme cooked up to push delicious fried dough treats into your food hole by several corporate entities who seek to make a profit off of doughnut awareness. What better way to celebrate than a corporate entity producing a shameless cash in variant of its signature product? Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Jelly Donut Oreos.

Sure, why the fuck not.

Honestly? I'm not a huge fan of jelly doughnuts. This is not to say that filled doughnuts aren't enjoyable, but the jelly filling used in most commercial doughnuts is less like jelly and more like a robot's version of what it think jelly should taste like, soullessly extruded from various nozzles to satisfy its cruel human masters. They are okay, is what I'm saying. Still, I can honestly say I've never felt the need for a cookie version of this, even if my beloved Oreos are so desperately trying to make me love them by including a doughnut flavor. I mean, their Cinnamon Bun Oreos were pretty tasty, so maybe pastry lightning can strike twice? Let's find out!

That's lookin' real good there Lou.

The packaging is nice, though I wonder at the efficacy of specifically pointing out the "jelly flavored center", when it is plainly obvious what it is supposed to be. The scent is vaguely chemically flavored sugar-ish, with an unrecognizable yet still "berry-ish" overtone. Honestly, I'm not that impressed with the look of these things. I don't know what they were going for, but what they got was "Golden Oreo that someone used to stop the bleeding from a shaving cut", and that's not super appetizing. Seriously, this is some lazy ass shit right here. Take Golden Oreo, drip a few drops of "jelly essence" into it, and bam, charge $2 extra for the privilege.

The flavor is a forsaken wasteland of "meh". Basically, it tastes like it looks: Like a Golden Oreo that someone dripped a melted Jolly Rancher on, and oh man is this flavor not good. It's not poison, and I didn't gag. It's not even "okay". The package sits untouched by me or my spouse for over a week. Even my kid has only asked for one, though it may just be she forgets they are there. I don't care for Golden Oreos much anyway, because the "vanilla" cookie just doesn't have the same robustness of the chocolate, and the vanilla creme really needs a contrast, not a compliment to work. This is all of that with some shitty jelly-esque nonsense on top. What a waste of everyone's time.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Frownie faces. A meh cookie with a lazy gimmick that sucks leads to much disappointment. There is nothing doughnut like about it anyway. Unless you feel like eating someone's mistake, stay the hell away from these and get some actual good cookies.

Kotas Reviews Peeps Oreos

Easter Season should be the biggest deal of the year. Spring has sprung, the sun is shining, food is plentiful, and pastels are in fashion. Still, I suppose a fat guy in a red suit has more marketability than a bunny that poops out brightly colored eggs. Even the Cadbury Bunny's peddled treats, delicious as they are, still make one vaguely uneasy if you think about it too much. Then again, the whole egg/chicken motif brought us the humble Peep. Good or bad, it's here to stay. So of course they would make an Oreo out of it. Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of Most Ages, let's take a look at Peeps Oreos.

Not since Victor Frankenstein has the phrase "My God, What Have I Done?" been so appropriate.

Nabisco has been on the ball as of late with their flavors. Love them or hate them, they are exactly what you would expect from [Object] + Oreo. The Peeps Oreo is no exception. The packaging is glorious, with the bright yellow and pink colors highlighting its duel Peep/Oreo nature. Nabisco went with the vanilla Oreo as the base here, and I think that was a good choice. Chocolate and Peeps have never been particularly good together, because the overwhelming chemical sugariness tends to turn the chocolate into mostly texture. Vanilla and...uh...Peep should compliment instead. Good call. Also, the easy open package is in attendance. Let's rip it open.

BEHOLD MAN'S HUBRIS!

Not much to say about this one. I wanted screaming hot pink, and that's exactly what I got. The eye searing nature of this color is not done justice in the pictures, because pictures can be faked. Trust me though, these things practically glow. The smell is vanilla laced with a hint of laboratory and a general "sweetness" that is hard to describe. My pancreas trembles in anticipation. Also, the pink creme has pink sugar sprinkles embedded in it, for that authentic Peep texture. Let's see how it all goes down.

Well, that wasn't so bad. And then all my hopes turned into nightmares as the overwhelming bitterness swept aside any lingering remnants of joy, leaving only terror in its wake. Now, I've always enjoyed Peeps for what they are: Chemical trickery. I'm a heathen who prefers them aged (read: stale as shit), because it dramatically cuts down on the chemical aftertaste they leave. Not every Peep does this, but the pink ones especially left behind an unwelcome chemical visitor. Well, the Oreo version ups the ante to unwholesome levels. The initial flavor isn't terrible, tasting mainly like a vanilla Oreo with sugar sprinkles in it, but then the sour, bitter flavor wallops you in the mouth. The creme by itself tastes like...well, sugar, and then horror. Even grape soda didn't wash that taste away, and it lingered for hours. I ate two of these things before I gave up. I'll note that whiskey helped wipe away the taste, but even then it lingered longer than I felt it should have. Holy Jeez, they SELL THIS to people. Oddly, my spouse said they tasted just fine to her: sweet, a little bit of crunch from the cookie and the sprinkles, and that was that. Maybe it's just me then?

On the FACE Rating System, these get 3 Frownie Faces, however I am qualifying this one. I absolutely detested these cookies, but I must admit they did exactly what they set out to do: Create a Peep cookie. I also speculate I have some sort of sensitivity to the dye they used to color this, because I seem to be the only person who hates these as much as I do. The only silver lining here is that they stain your tongue bright pink for a long, LONG time. They also have more...interesting side effects when eaten in large quantities. This gets a tentative "try" from me, if you like Peeps or super sweet things. I hate these things though. 

Kotas Reviews Chocolate Strawberry Oreos

Well, it's that time of year again, when young children exchange mass marketed cards with television and toy icons on them and eat cupcakes, while adults explode in a mass marketed made up obligation of excess affection. Also, it's Valentine's Day, so let's eat some freakin' Oreos. Of course it was Oreos. Let's take a look at Chocolate Strawberry Oreos.

The Return of the Easy Open Package. Smooth like jazz and twice as saucy. 

I'm not sure why chocolate covered strawberries are the Ur Confection for Valentine's Day, though I suspect it is the combination of a red, juicy berry with the nigh ubiquitous chocolate that seems to set the proper tone of "decadent, yet comforting, and maybe a little naughty" we as a society seem to desire. Or maybe, if you squint, it looks like the severed head of a saint. Tough call, really! Still, it's nice to see Nabisco bringing this out for the holiday. The packaging is damn near perfect, with a big ol' picture of a chocolate covered strawberry, along side a picture of the ACTUAL treat that awaits us inside. It's even in the Easy Open package. Kudos! Let's open it up! Slowly.

Just screams romance, doesn't it?

 Well, they look like Oreos alright, and the scent of fake strawberry is strong. They do not pass the Twist Off Test with flying colors, but it's not like it was an abject failure or anything. Still, about what I expected. This is another of the "multi-color" fillings, like the dreaded "Filled Cupcake", with a splort of different flavor in the middle. Heh heh. "Filled".

The inner cream is a thick chocolate-esque flavor, but the strawberry shines through just fine. It is super artificial tasting though, so if you don't like fake strawberry you certainly won't like this. As a whole, it tastes a lot like you'd expect. A Lotta Chocolate with a Little Fake Strawberry, with a side of Chemical. Not bad, really.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 Smiley Face. They are exactly what they say they are, and that's a good thing, but I'm not beating a path to Nabisco's door to get more of them. Certainly worth trying if you are a flavor aficionado, but steer clear if you don't like artificial strawberry tastes.

Kotas Reviews Candy Corn Oreos

Well folks, it's definitely the Fall season. The Halloween decorations are out! No, really, like they are out the door and the Christmas stuff is already starting to pile up in shop windows. I remember a time when you could pop into any old store on October 30th to grab some last minute Halloween decorations and maybe a cheapo costume, but those days are NO LONGER. Ah well, at least one thing is back on the shelves for the foreseeable future: Candy Corn! So of course Nabisco made an Oreo out of it. Let's take a look at...well, you know the drill.

This is why you are here, isn't it?

To be fair, I'm late to this party. They came out last year, I believe, but I was never able to get a package...until now! Well, the package looks nice. The Candy Corn is obviously the focus here, and the picture of the Oreo is accurate, which is to be expected from Nabisco. The "easy open" flap is missing again, which is weird. Nabisco is remarkably inconsistent with its use of this feature, so I keep wondering why it isn't bog standard. Oh well, let's rip it open.

Seems Legit.

Well, they smell...sweet, though not really like candy corn. The vanilla cookie is a given, since that wold pair a lot better with any candy corn flavors. The creme in the middle is delightfully two toned in proper colors and easily passes the twist off test. It mostly smells like a generically sweet cookie though, and not much like candy corn. Let's eat!

So, you've all eaten candy corn at least once, right? It's waxy, honey tinged sweetness is like nothing else that is manufactured. This cookie only reinforces that fact, as it tastes exactly nothing like candy corn. It's very sweet, much sweeter than regular Oreos. There may be something that resembles honey flavoring too, but candy corn they most certainly aren't. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get a frowny face. In every conceivable way these are a failure, but they aren't terrible. If you like super sweet cookies, they are probably quite tasty. As a candy corn flavored treat though they are just not even in the right ballpark flavor wise, though they do manage to hit the cheap seats in the color department. Nice try, Nabisco, but stick to things that can actually successfully translate into cookie flavoring. You've managed to pull off this before, but that triumph of chemical engineering only led to mixed results.

Kotas Reviews Choco Chip Oreos

Here at Kotas Reviews, we often see food that is flavored like "more different" food. Cookies that taste of ice cream. Ice cream that tastes of bacon. Admiral Crunch. However, it is not often that we get a food that is trying to disguise itself as one of its peers. Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a gander at Choco Chip Oreos.

Because you knew it was Oreos. It was ALWAYS Oreos.

I'm not even sure where to begin here. I actually enjoy cookies like Chips Ahoy and other mass market chocolate chip cookies. They do not hold a candle to their homemade counterparts, but much like Hostess Cupcakes, they sort of fall into their own category of treat that satisfies a certain ineffable desire to eat artificial flavoring. Chips Ahoy was always my favorite of the "mass produced" cookie, because it was not that weird fake soft type of cookie that just overflows with "this was made in a laboratory" overtones, rather than the more subtle nuance of the simple, yet crumbly, Chips Ahoy cookie. So what the FUCK is Oreo trying to do here? "It's a cookie! That tastes like a different kind of cookie!" I mean, it's certainly unexpected, and not nearly as lazy as some previous efforts, but did anyone ask for this? When I go to eat an Oreo, the very LAST thing I think is "I wish this tasted like a Chips Ahoy" because if that were true I would just GO EAT A CHIPS AHOY. Anyway...the packaging is exactly what you'd expect, with a "no really, just a generic cookie and not a Chips Ahoy" in the background and an accurate image of the cookie within the bag. The "easy open" tab is also there, which is good. Let's easy open it up!

Pretty much what I imagined it to look like.

They certainly smell like Chips Ahoy cookies, mixed with a bit of Oreo-ish-ness as well. The look is pretty nice, the creme being about what I expected, but the real surprise is the cookie itself, which is speckled with dark brown swirls that looks like they threw in some "choco-chips" to the cookie dough part. You get an A on the look, Nabisco. Let's taste 'em!

Yeah, they taste like a mash up of Oreo and Chips Ahoy, with the Chips Ahoy part mostly in the flavor, and the Oreo part mostly in the texture. It is exactly what I would imagine a mash up of these two cookies would be like, which is good. My big question is why bother? Nabisco owns the two biggest brands in each of their respective category (Oreo - Sandwich Cookie::Chips Ahoy - Chocolate Chip Cookie), so it's not like you are stealing customers from a competitor. Maybe they are trying to get some crossover appeal for people who only like one or the other? It is a mystery.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. There is nothing wrong with them, but I have exactly no reason to ever eat them when I could instead just go get the actual cookie I want to eat. They don't taste bad, but they are a more expensive way to enjoy a different style of cookie that maybe you aren't used to. My suggestion in that case is just "go buy a bag of the other cookie". Maybe next time, Nabisco. Maybe next time.

Kotas Reviews Blueberry Pie Oreos

I wish I could quit you Nabisco. You've done me some bad turns in the past, and you think that simply by coming out with new flavors you can win me back? Well, I'm not falling for it this time! I know your tricks! You took away my beloved Easy Open package, and you've constantly reduced the size of the Limited Edition packages in a naked grab for more money. Not this time! A Line Must Be Drawn! Wait, you did Blueberry Pie? I knew you'd changed! Let's take a look at...Blueberry Pie Oreos!

You DO Care!

Well, you all knew this was gonna happen. As soon as they come out with something reasonably interesting, all the sins of the past are forgotten. I've always loved pie, in its myriad of forms both savory and sweet, portable and plate worthy. I suppose that pie flavors were inevitable really, though I wonder what separates these from simple Blueberry Oreos. The packaging though is fantastic, with a big succulent pie just letting it all hang out for you. I guess there is also a picture of the cookie. Let's open this sucker up!

Definitely blueberry colored.

Not a lot of surprises here. I still shake a fist at the loss of my easy open packaging (which weirdly returned a few flavors ago but is gone again, like my dreams of wearing size 38 pants), but the cookies themselves? Solid. The cookie itself is the vanilla type, and the creame inside is nicely purplish blue, almost like an actual blueberry was smashed in there. Passes the twist off test with flying colors. But how about that taste test?

Ya know? It's pretty darn good! Nice artificial blueberry flavor, and the vanilla cookie pairs well with it. Pretty nom worthy if you like blueberry stuff that is made in a factory. It's not very pie-like, but I suppose we do what we can. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get one Smiley face. Tasty if you like artificial blueberry, but I'm not going out of my way to buy them in bulk, not at that price. A lot of these limited edition cookies just aren't good enough to justify their price, even if they are pretty tasty. Definitely try, but only stock up if you catch them on sale. Or if you don't mind a lack of pie in your blueberry pie cookie.

Kotas Reviews Red Velvet Oreos

Sometimes a person is unable to obtain a thing. Sometimes this drives them to do unspeakable, awful things to acquire that thing. Then Nabisco releases another limited edition Oreo in the current Bandwagon Flavor of the Moment. Let's take a look at Red Velvet Oreos.

Note: Not a Photoshop

So it's come to this. Even Nabisco is jumping on the Red Velvet bandwagon. When I was growing up, Red Velvet cake was something that my grandma made as some sort of sad way of "jazzing up" the same old birthday cake. At least in my family it never ended well. In my college years, this was the only kind of cake one of my buddies would make, as he considered it a "mere vehicle for the consumption of cream cheese icing". It always seemed like it would remain a niche dessert. This just goes to show you that you should never trust my instincts about food trends because Red Velvet is IN for reasons beyond my ability to comprehend.

Behold all this majesty!

Red Velvet was first popularized when food dye suddenly became something you could buy in the grocery store around the time of the Great Depression. It was conceived of by the Waldorf-Astoria hotel as a signature dessert, but is often associated with Traditional Southern Food. Why? Shut up, that's why!

Upon opening the package, there is definitely a scent of...something Not Quite Oreo. It doesn't smell bad, but it smells very, very artificial. This is only slightly off putting. The cookies themselves look exactly as you would expect them to: Dark Brown-ish Red. Fit enough in my book to eat, at any rate.

Yep. Definitely an Oreo.

These cookies pass the twist test with flying colors, revealing a slightly off white cream filling. The taste is a LOT like eating an Oreo with a dollop of cream cheese icing, though there is a distinct chemical overtone that screams "I was made in an Erlenmeyer Flask!". The cookies themselves are not really distinguishable from regular Oreos, but the cream filling sure is, and how. It's a bit too sweet to eat on its own, but with the cookie it's good. Milk actually dampens some of the artificiality and makes these taste better. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Smiley Faces. They aren't bad, really, but there is no reason to eat these over regular Oreos unless you have a really strong fetish for vaguely reddish foods or an unholy love of all things Cream Cheese Icing. I won't turn them down, but I don't consider them something I would actually buy again. On the whole, very meh. If you love trying new flavors, see if you can get someone to give them to you, but otherwise? Just go get a jar of Cream Cheese Icing and dip your regular Oreos in it.

Kotas Reviews Limeade Oreos

I enjoy fruit flavored confections generally. Some are terrible, but most of them manage to at least somewhat resemble the flavor they are attempting. Then there are things like today's entry, which are somewhat baffling. Let's dive into the oddity that is Limeade Oreos.

Because SOMEONE demanded it!

Well, this certainly is a package that screams "Limeade Oreo", and I think the packaging is pretty attractive. The real trick is to make it taste as good as the package looks. I've had pretty good success with fruit flavored Oreos, generally. The Berry and Lemon ones taste pretty darn good, though I absolutely hated the Watermelon ones. Still, a 66% success rate is promising, and frankly a Lime flavored cookie would be right up my alley. So why in the heck is this a Limeade cookie and not just a straight Lime cookie? Maybe the graphic for a lime was kind of lame? Eh, the Root Beer ones were pretty decent, so let's see what these puppies look like. 

Does this scream Limeade to you?

Well, it sure looks like a Lime cookie. The scent is "vanilla cookie with a hint of lime". I, for one, am simply shocked at this amazing development. These pass the twist off test without any problems, and they look pretty sharp. The flavor is pretty good, with a light lime creaminess that is quite refreshing in the mouth, though I really wish the lime came through stronger. As it stands, it's nice, but it could be better. The vanilla cookie was the right choice, evoking a lime pie-esque after taste that is pleasant if not spectacular. The creme by itself is also pretty tasty. With milk, the lime flavor is more muted and the creaminess accentuated, and that's not bad, but not great either. I just don't get where the -ade part comes in. I was hoping for a bit more effervescence or something, but as it is it's just a lightly lime flavored cookie. It's good, but a little disappointing.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 smiley face. I like them, but they do not seem like Limeade cookies, only like Lime cookies that aren't trying hard enough. These could really benefit from a stronger lime flavor, about on par with the Lemon ones. Try them out, if you like flavored Oreos and artificial fruit flavoring. Just don't expect anything particularly surprising.