Monday, October 11, 2021

Kotas Reviews the Arby's Rib Sandwich

 Uuuuuh...hi. Been a long time since I poked around in here. Honestly, it's been a pretty rough couple of years for me. Between well, EVERYTHING, and my own personal hardships, my mental state has been less than optimal. In June of this year, my father, disabled for many years due to a stroke, passed away. Dealing with that has taken a toll. All that said, there is daylight at the end of this long, stupid tunnel, and perhaps this blog post is one of the first steps out. Or maybe I was just SO FUCKING OFFENDED by a sandwich that I had to talk about it. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dive into the Arby's Rib Sandwich.

This is from the Arby's website. Not representative of real life.

There have been a lot of food trends that have passed me by. The Age of Flavor is upon us still, despite all the insanity, and I must commend Arby's for trying to stand out from the crowd with something rarely offered: Ribs. We're still recovering from the Great Chicken Sandwich Wars of the 2020s, but Arby's just keeps on trying to keep our spirits up with its ridiculous concoctions. So let's talk ribs!

I'm a big fan of barbeque, and I'm a big fan of ribs. Rib-oriented food joints don't tend to do well (R.I.P. Smokey Bones...at least in my area) without also providing a fuller barbeque experience. Still, the only rib sandwiches I'd had previously were from weird hole in the wall barbeque joints that serve it surly and with a side of sass. Boy that shit is good. Sure, McDonald's has the "McRib", but it's more of a "rib inspired pork sandwich" than a real rib sandwich, right? This appears to be much more like the real deal. Let's eat!

It is a sad day indeed when I bite into a huge chunk of rib meat and realize that it Has. No. Flavor. Like, the meat is chewy nothing. There's texture, sure. It's even the texture of well cooked rib meat. But the flavor is just...absent. All I can taste is the barbeque sauce (which is fine) and the mayonnaise. The cheese might as well not even be there. The onion toppers are fairly good though, so kudos on Arbys for that. What a fucking huge disappointment this is, because the sandwich LOOKS amazing. Like a real rib sandwich. There is just NO FUCKING FLAVOR at all. What a waste of space this thing is.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 2 Frowny Faces. It didn't poison me, but I never want to eat it again, and neither should you. To simulate the flavor, get a bun, slather it with mayo and BBQ sauce, then put some onion rings on it, and finally, tofu bits. Now you know exactly how this thing tastes. (Not that tofu is bad, just that without other flavors it adds nothing but texture.). DO NOT buy this.