Kotas Reviews Lava Cake Hershey's Kisses

Yeah, yeah I know it's MARCH. Lots of rain in March this year. I dread April Showers honestly, because they will bring, not May Flowers, but May Roof Repairs. Or not, I sure hope not. Anyway, I'm a bit behind in my Valentine's themed candy reviews, but does anyone care? Boy I sure hope not. Let's eat some candy! Today we review Lava Cake Hershey's Kisses.

So, yeah. That's a package.

I don't really get the fuss over lava cake in general. Sure, it's gooey and all, but the presentation always just leads me to think that the cake is underdone. All I know is that it was super trendy for a while for restaurants to have some sort of molten cake product on their menu and I wasn't having any of it. I REGRET NOTHING. Moving on, the package on these conveys the theme without overly stating it is a Valentine's Day edition of the candy. I'm not sure WHY you'd want to do that, given that it will be lumped in with the Valentine's stuff anyway, but I suppose you could argue that it doesn't deserve to be marked down 50% on February 15th if it doesn't explicitly say Valentine's Day on it. Let's tear it open!

Take it off! 

Yeah, it's a Hershey's Kiss alright. Unlike the usual ones, these have the glossier chocolate shell that is also the Hershey's version of Dark Chocolate. However, inside is a softer chocolate I think that is going for "ganache", but the Hershey version. Guess what? It's pretty darn good! While the outer shell has the standard Hershey's "plastic-y" overtone common in their dark chocolate, it is nicely mitigated by the soft center, which has a good rich Hershey's dark chocolate flavor. Yes, I'm being specific because Hershey's chocolate tends to taste unlike most other chocolate. 

On the FACE Rating System, I'd give these 1 Smiley Face. They taste pretty good, but they aren't too different from a regular Dark Chocolate Hershey's Kiss beyond texture. Still, the texture change is interesting, so give these a whirl unless you already don't like Hershey's Chocolate or Dark Chocolate. There is nothing to change your mind here.

Kotas Reviews Cap'n Crunch's Chocolatey Berry Crunch

Well, February rolls on with a number of semi-observed holidays like President's Day, Umbrella Day, and Public Sleeping Day, which is of course a fully recognized holiday that I didn't just make up. So what better way to vaguely celebrate such holidays than with a vaguely themed cereal that just so happens to be available in February? Right, let's get on with this and look at Cap'n Crunch's Chocolatey Berry Crunch.

That look says "I retire in 3 months, fuck it!"

Good old Cap'n Crunch. Lacerator of mouths, vehicle for sweetened corn, devestator of health and a truly delicious treat from my childhood. I gotta admit though, it ain't like it used to be. It's less sweet and far less slicey on the old palate than it was back in my childhood. Still, it brings fond memories and my child has an appreciate for their 'Berry version, particularly the "Oops, All Berries" type. Ah, youth. I always did wonder what it would be like in a chocolate version, and well, here it is fully formed before my eyes. The box art is in the category of "Fine". It does what it needs to do, but it's nothing special. Onward!

Yup. Looks like the output of a rock tumbler all right.

The smell is that vague chocolate smell you get when opening a box of Cocoa Puffs, though fainter, coupled with the artificial 'berry' scent of usual Crunchberries, with that generic sweetened corn cereal odor as your backstop. It's not bad, but again, it ain't anything you haven't smelled before. The taste however is kind of a disappointment. This is just Crunchberry cereal, with a tiny hint of some sort of chocolate that you only get in the aftertaste. If you poured a bowl of Cocoa Krispies, drained off the milk, and then poured Crunchberry cereal into that bowl and ate it you'd have an idea of the flavor profile here. The generic sweetened corn flavor dominates here as in most of the Cap'n's creations, so it's fine, but it does not wow me. True love's first cereal this ain't.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 Faces. It's fine, but there is nothing here you can't get with regular Crunchberry cereal followed by a cup of chocolate milk. Hell, that might even have more chocolate punch. It's not bad, but it is ever so meh. Pass it by unless you are some sort of flavor completionist or blog writer.

Kotas Reviews Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos

Man, it's be a crazy year for Oreos, eh? Lots of new flavors, contest controversy and several returning limited editions, such as Cinnamon Roll, that appear to be falling into the "seasonal" brand label. Still, it doesn't mean there aren't dozens of other flavors to explore! I'm sure we're not at all sick of them yet. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's dive into Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreos.

New!

Well, here we are. Another pie flavored Oreo. Past examples haven't really conveyed a lot of "pie-ness", but there's only so much you can do with a cookie. Frankly, I think they are just using it to denote "graham cookie" instead of a vanilla or chocolate cookie. Whatever. The package looks fine, but much like Bioware games generally have a decent story, Nabisco doesn't get to crow about their excellent packaging anymore. In fact, it's sort of expected that Oreo packaging will be good from now on. Still, that's quite a pie they are displaying, eh? Let's see what lies inside!

It's the little differences that count.

Well, I can't say I'm shocked. It looks about what I'd expect a chocolate peanut butter cookie to look like. I'm not a fan of the "split color" look, but it does make for an obvious comparison. I personally think they should just have it split length wise, and do a half-layer of chocolate and a half-layer of peanut butter, laid down so that each bite gets some of each type of creme. Oh well, maybe that's harder than this weird dollop half method. Definitely smells of peanut butter and graham cracker, but the chocolate really isn't present in the scent.

Upon tasting them, they mostly taste like a peanut butter cookie. The graham flavor comes through, certainly, but there is little to no chocolate about these cookies, no matter what the color of the creme says. The peanut butter flavor is overwhelming, tasting a lot like Nutter Butter cookies, but not quite. There is something that might be chocolate in there if you really concentrate, but otherwise? Non-existent. It's not terrible, if you like peanut butter cookies, but it's certainly nothing special or Oreo-y. I think the traditional chocolate cookie would have been a lot better here, or even one chocolate cookie and one graham cookie. As it stands, it's an Oreo trying really hard to be a Nutter Butter cookie. Don't quit your day job, Oreo.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 0 Faces. It's fine, I guess, but I don't think the world needed a More Different Peanut Butter Oreo. If you want a peanut butter creme cookie with a bit of chocolate, just dip a Nutter Butter into a chocolate spread and enjoy that. 

Kotas Reviews Hershey's Gold Peanuts and Pretzels

What is it about gas stations that make them the perfect place to find new or weird snacks? Does anyone (besides me) go into a gas station with the intention of finding new or interesting things to try? Is this some sort of compulsion that only I have, yet somehow is catered to by most major convenience store chains? Did I take too many drugs? The answer to all of this and more is "I dunno, probably". With that in mind, let's take a look at Hershey's Gold Peanuts and Pretzels.

Go for the gold...colored wrapper!

If you've been reading this blog for a while, it is absolutely no secret that white chocolate and I generally don't get along. It's fine, but I will pass it up for most other confections if available. Still, some of the flavored white chocolates are decent, mostly because they no longer taste like white chocolate. Which brings us to today's treat, the Hershey's Gold Peanuts and Pretzels. I saw this in the gas station while loading up on lotto ticket (yes, ticket. Not a typo) and thought "oh hey, something new from Hershey's! Sort of, I guess." and picked one up to try.

Turns out, this is Hershey's first new candy bar since 1993, when they debuted the Cookies & Creme bar. Whodathunk it, eh? I thought maybe it had been put out as a Winter Olympics promotion, and well, I might be right, given it came out December 1st of last year. Still, I do love caramel, pretzels, and occasionally peanuts mixed in with those two things. How could I refuse? Let's eat!

Well, at least it's not grey.

I gotta be honest. This doesn't look all that appetizing. Tan isn't a great color in a candy, and while I appreciate the attempt to differentiate it from their other candy bars, the weird offset "break" pattern for the subsections of the bar makes me thing you are just trying to put one over on me and sell me less candy per bar. I don't actually think that is the case here, but it sure does look like you are tryin' to downsize me candy! Smells pretty good though, peanutty and caramelly certainly. Obviously not much pretzel, but hey, whatchagonnado? OM NOM NOM, that's what!

Well, this is decently tasty! The caramel flavor is there, but not overwhelming, and the peanut/pretzel combo works surprisingly well with no flavor really masking any other. There isn't much pretzel flavor here beyond "salt" and a bit of extra crunch here and there, but it's still a decent candy. Color me surprised, really. My kid also enjoyed it, so that's a point in its favor. Best of all, it really doesn't taste a ton like white chocolate, even though that is clearly the base.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 Smiley. It's not amazing, but for something new from Hershey's, they did a good job of making an interesting candy. Good enough for the occasional indulgence, but probably not good enough for me to buy a ton of. Granted, I try not to eat much Hershey's to start with, but long trips in the car just got a bit more caramelly. Give this one a try!

Kotas Reviews Lindt Lindor Pumpkin Spice Milk Chocolate Truffles

Well friends, we are coming to the close of another Pumpkin Spice season. It still reigns supreme in the Fall Flavors Smackdown despite some serious competitors. But that doesn't mean this old dog of a taste can learn some new tricks. And some "almost fancy" ones at that. Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a gander at Lindt Lindor Pumpkin Spice Milk Chocolate Truffles.

Is it Lindt or Lindor? Does anyone know? Oh wait, that's the PRODUCT...

Lindt is a Swiss Chocolate maker and they mostly sell individually wrapped truffles. They come in a wide variety of flavors and are no stranger to Limited Edition ones depending on the season. I tend to think they are good, but not great. Other chocolate makers make better truffles, but most of the better ones don't come in easy to share pre-wrapped versions, so you know, these are a staple of my holiday gifting and consumption. I guess they decided it was time to break into that lucrative "Fall Candy" market by coming out with these Pumpkin Spice editions.

The packaging is pretty distinctive. Each flavor in the Lindor line gets a specific color, so it's not a surprise that Orange would be for the pumpkin spice version. I also really like the leaf motif that accents the bag. This is also one of the few "fancy candies" to have a clear bit so you can see a visible measure of your shame. Moving on!

A vicious murder, observed by a bystander.

Yep, it's a chocolate truffle all right. Lindt chocolate has always had a very waxy feel to it and these somehow feel even waxier to the touch. The scent has some hints of pumpkin and nutmeg, but otherwise is just milk chocolate. Slicing it open reveals chocolate truffle filling that is surprisingly NOT orange, but definitely smells like it's been flavored. The taste is pretty good, a little waxy, but very smooth chocolate with some notes of pumpkin and "spice". Mostly, I taste chocolate but you can definitely tell that it has a flavor and that they tried. Nice work, really.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets a single Smiley Face. While they may not be my favorite chocolate, Lindt Lindor Truffles are nigh ubiquitous and this flavor does justice to the concept of Pumpkin Spice. It's not cloying or overwhelming, but it makes itself known on the tongue. If you like Lindt truffles, give these a try and you will probably like them. If you hate pumpkin spice and all things flavored with it, these will not change your opinion.

Kotas Reviews Choco Chip Oreos

Here at Kotas Reviews, we often see food that is flavored like "more different" food. Cookies that taste of ice cream. Ice cream that tastes of bacon. Admiral Crunch. However, it is not often that we get a food that is trying to disguise itself as one of its peers. Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a gander at Choco Chip Oreos.

Because you knew it was Oreos. It was ALWAYS Oreos.

I'm not even sure where to begin here. I actually enjoy cookies like Chips Ahoy and other mass market chocolate chip cookies. They do not hold a candle to their homemade counterparts, but much like Hostess Cupcakes, they sort of fall into their own category of treat that satisfies a certain ineffable desire to eat artificial flavoring. Chips Ahoy was always my favorite of the "mass produced" cookie, because it was not that weird fake soft type of cookie that just overflows with "this was made in a laboratory" overtones, rather than the more subtle nuance of the simple, yet crumbly, Chips Ahoy cookie. So what the FUCK is Oreo trying to do here? "It's a cookie! That tastes like a different kind of cookie!" I mean, it's certainly unexpected, and not nearly as lazy as some previous efforts, but did anyone ask for this? When I go to eat an Oreo, the very LAST thing I think is "I wish this tasted like a Chips Ahoy" because if that were true I would just GO EAT A CHIPS AHOY. Anyway...the packaging is exactly what you'd expect, with a "no really, just a generic cookie and not a Chips Ahoy" in the background and an accurate image of the cookie within the bag. The "easy open" tab is also there, which is good. Let's easy open it up!

Pretty much what I imagined it to look like.

They certainly smell like Chips Ahoy cookies, mixed with a bit of Oreo-ish-ness as well. The look is pretty nice, the creme being about what I expected, but the real surprise is the cookie itself, which is speckled with dark brown swirls that looks like they threw in some "choco-chips" to the cookie dough part. You get an A on the look, Nabisco. Let's taste 'em!

Yeah, they taste like a mash up of Oreo and Chips Ahoy, with the Chips Ahoy part mostly in the flavor, and the Oreo part mostly in the texture. It is exactly what I would imagine a mash up of these two cookies would be like, which is good. My big question is why bother? Nabisco owns the two biggest brands in each of their respective category (Oreo - Sandwich Cookie::Chips Ahoy - Chocolate Chip Cookie), so it's not like you are stealing customers from a competitor. Maybe they are trying to get some crossover appeal for people who only like one or the other? It is a mystery.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. There is nothing wrong with them, but I have exactly no reason to ever eat them when I could instead just go get the actual cookie I want to eat. They don't taste bad, but they are a more expensive way to enjoy a different style of cookie that maybe you aren't used to. My suggestion in that case is just "go buy a bag of the other cookie". Maybe next time, Nabisco. Maybe next time.

Kotas Reviews Pineapple M&Ms

There has been a pattern lately of people going to extraordinary lengths to get review material to me. Root Beer Oreos from Atlanta and Marshmallow Crispy Oreos from Arizona were provided to me by very generous friends, but perhaps it is getting out of hand. Today's product arrived from literally halfway around the world to grace the pages of this blog. Behold the unabashed oddity that is Pineapple M&Ms.

G'day Mate!

Candy 'round the world is often flavored in ways that seem weird and unusual to our unsubtle American palates, and today's product is no exception. I cannot recall ever eating an M&M and thinking "You know what this needs? PINEAPPLE." I will admit I do enjoy the idea of the Yellow M&M dressed up as a pineapple, though so I suppose I'll give this a fair shake.

I'm not sure what I was expecting with these, really.

Just look at that bold array of colors! Green, brown, yellow, and...uh...Other Green! Yes, these are definitely M&M candies. I get that they were trying to go with a "pineapple" color theme here, but...really? Green and Other Green? Just green and yellow would have been fine folks. It looks like Overstock Day at the M&M store is what I'm saying.

The scent from the package is a strong pineapple one, though it smells less artificial than some pineapple candies do. The taste is exactly what you would expect if you ate some M&Ms directly after finishing some pineapple. It is M&M chocolate, with a bit of pineapple taste lingering in the mouth, but mostly M&M chocolate. It's not bad, exactly, but it makes me question why these are even a thing that exists. The two flavors are not meshed well together at all. The pineapple taste is just sort of half-assedly there. 

On the FACE Rating System I give these 0 Smiley faces. They aren't bad, but they aren't particularly good either and mostly just confused me. That said, if you really like pineapple and chocolate, these might be for you. My mother quite enjoyed them. Definitely worth trying if you ever happen to be Down Under, but they are not the M&M for me.

Kotas Reviews the District 12 Chocolate Bar

Welcome to Day 6 of the Hunger Reviews! Today we wrap up our sojourn into the freakish world of designer candy movie tie-ins with the final bar I was able to get my hands on. Will it tantalize? Will it enrapture? Will it be fucking boring as shit instead? Let's find out!

Reuse of mix-ins? FOR SHAME WILD OPHELIA!

Well, the label is on par with almost all of the other labels, so I can't really complain too much. This is Yet Another Salted Chocolate Bar and it shows nothing like the creativity shown in the last chocolate bar I tried. Salt and Milk Chocolate eh? Well, they failed miserably the last time they tried to salt chocolate, let's find out if this will be pleasure or poison.

My money is on poison.

The bar is still that same, stupid, boring pattern with not a single outstanding thing to show that this is different from any other chocolate bar. It smells of milk chocolate and...that's pretty much it. Guess what? It tastes like milk chocolate and that's pretty much it. If the salt adds anything to this bar, I certainly couldn't tell. The texture was at least smooth and not gritty like the other salted chocolate bar, so it has that going for it. This might very well be the single most boring piece of fancy chocolate I've ever consumed. It is certainly not worth $5, and I'm not even sure it was worth the $2.50 I paid for it, but it IS a step above Ye Olde Hershey's. 

On the FACE Rating System, this bar gets 0 faces on sheer dullness. I can't hate it, because there are no outstanding features to hate, but I can't like it for the same reason. You'd be better off just buying one of those giant Cadbury bars and actually enjoying yourself. 

So ends the Hunger Reviews with 6 bars competing and only 2 showing anything like promise. The average FACE Rating for all of these is 0 faces, and I cannot recommend people bother picking them up, at least at their full price. You might hit up the District 5 and District 10 bars for reasonably tasty and/or interesting choices, but the others? Meh to AUUUUUUGH. 

Kotas Reviews the District 10 Chocolate Bar

Welcome to Day 5 of the Hunger Reviews! Today we finally get away from lame add ins and put the gore in gourmet with the District 10 Bar. District 10 is known for livestock, so what sort of candy could POSSIBLY represent livestock? Turns out, no candy at all. BEHOLD THE NIGHTMARE.

Fire up the abattoir, we've got chocolate to make!

Beef Jerky AND Smoked Mesquite? In a Milk Chocolate Bar? The world has gone mad, and I am at the center of that whirlwind. The label has a nice color scheme and FINALLY we get something off the wall and unorthodox in our progression through this chocolate line up. My prediction upon first viewing this was that it would be wretched. Let's crack it open and see if I am right!

Well, it looks fairly normal.

The first thing you notice upon opening the package is the smell. It smells like mesquite flavored beef jerky AND chocolate. There is NO mistaking this for a non-beef-jerky infused chocolate bar that's for certain. The taste is...surprisingly decent! The sweet creaminess of the milk chocolate is an interesting contrast to the smoky meaty taste of the beef jerky. It is really in there, and you will find your self chewing on a small morsel of the stuff long after the chocolate has dissolved. It is certainly a hefty step above the wretched District 3 bar, which should be purged from existence as soon as possible. Guess I'm no Kreskin, eh? Or for you younger readers, no John Edward.

On the FACE Rating System, this chocolate bar gets 1 smiley face. It's still not worth $5, but the novelty of it along with the unexpectedly decent taste brings up the score significantly. Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of the Hunger Reviews!

Kotas Reviews the District 7 Chocolate Bar

Day Four of the Hunger Reviews. Still in search of the one chocolate that is actually worth the money. My sponsors have all but abandoned me, but still I slog on. Will today be the day I find it? I dream of actual good chocolate and living to tell the tale. Today we uncover the District 7 bar, representing...uh...Lumber?

Lumber? Sure, that says "chipotle chili" to me.

This bar has another pretty decent label, but they are all starting to look the same, which isn't great when you are trying to differentiate between 12 different bars. Our second milk chocolate offering comes with chipotle chili as the main (nay, only) addition. Why chipotle chili for Lumber? Uh, it's a plant, and lumber comes from plants? I have no idea. 

Sadly, this bar was damaged in transit. The flavor was not affected.

YAWN, another day, another boring looking bar. Why am I continually surprised at the dullness of these chocolates? Anyway, this isn't all that bad really. The milk chocolate is appropriately milk chocolately, a step up from Hershey's but only slightly better than a good Cadbury Dairy Milk. The chili plays no part in the flavor, but it does add some afterburn to the taste, which was somewhat unexpected. There's really no chipotle flavor here, just milk chocolate and heat. It's not a bad combination, but it is not something I personally get overly excited about. I think it would be better if the chocolate was a dark chocolate. 

On the FACE Rating System, the District 7 bar gets 0 faces. Not bad, but nothing I would seek out again. If they had used dark chocolate and/or actually made the chipotle portion matter, this might have gotten to 1 smiley, but as it is, very meh. See you tomorrow!

Kotas Reviews the District 6 Chocolate Bar

It's the third day of the Hunger Reviews! Today is pretty cold, but I got to stay home and eat candy, so I suppose it is not all bad. Yesterday's candy was a train wreck, what will today's wrapper hold? Set free your Tracker Jackers and hope they find this chocolate before you do! Or, you know, not.

Transportation = Peanuts. Sure, that seems logical.

Here we have another example of a decent label. This is our first milk chocolate bar, and I have this strange feeling it will be fairly full of peanuts. I still fail to see how transportation and peanuts are related, but I'm not a designer chocolate manufacturer, so what do I know about such things? Let's tear it open!

Actual peanuts visible? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?

The bar does look a bit different from the previous two offerings, with a lighter color and actual visible peanuts. It's not much different, but any differentiation is better than none! Now, as for the flavor...have you ever had a Mr. Goodbar and thought "Man, this would be better if it had higher quality ingredients? Then do I have the chocolate bar for you! It pretty much tastes like a gussied up Mr. Goodbar. The milk chocolate and peanut flavors are strong and distinct, but also fairly pedestrian. The peanut flavor is no doubt enhanced by the peanut butter, but it doesn't have any real "peanut butteriness" to speak of. Not bad really, but I sort of expected more for my $5.

On the FACE Rating System, this bar gets 0 faces. It's not bad, it's not particularly good. It is very "okay". This is not a bad thing, but the value of this chocolate is as meh as the diagonal pattern embedded in its face. See you tomorrow!

Kotas Reviews the District 3 Chocolate Bar

Welcome to our second day of the...uh...Hunger...Reviews! Yesterday's candy bar was good, but not great. Will today's offering stack up? Let's enter the arena and try and murder Wild Ophelia's District 3 chocolate bar!

50% easier to read!

This bar keeps the same general label theme, but is much, MUCH nicer simply because you can actually make out what everything is without eye strain. The bar inside is arabica coffee and crystal salt. Okay, first thing. Arabica coffee is not rare or special. It accounts for 70% of the coffee production of the planet. Yes, it is better than Robusta (the other 30%), but that don't make it praiseworthy. And "crystal" salt? You know what? ALL SALT COMES IN CRYSTAL FORMAT, at least in the world of cooking. But, I suppose "ordinary coffee and salt" wouldn't sell as many $5 chocolate bars, eh? Though, in a weird way, I suppose both are a good representation of technology, which made these once rare products almost ubiquitous. Let's crack it open!

It's like they all have a uniform! You can TASTE the dystopia!

Well, this is another boring old bar. You can barely tell it from the previous one. But the real question is, how does it taste? Ladies and gentleman, it is certainly possible that a salted coffee chocolate would be a gourmet treat, but THIS chocolate is not that treat. The salt is...present, at least but I'm not sure why it is there. The coffee is...also present, melds with the chocolate like butter and bananas, and to top it all off, the coffee isn't like, coffee essence or flavoring or whatever, but actual GROUNDS. Coupled with the salt bits it adds a horrifying grittiness to an otherwise mediocre chocolate. District 3? You might be good at technology, but your representative chocolate is a travesty of culinary justice.

On the FACE Rating System, the District 3 Chocolate Bar gets 2 frownies. I mean, how do you fuck up dark chocolate? Well, Wild Ophelia found a way. Tune in next time for a new District and hopefully a better candy.

Kotas Reviews the District 5 Chocolate Bar

Ah, it's a brand new year here at Kotas Reviews. The holidays were a bit hectic, but now things have settled a bit and it's time to get back to some food reviews! To celebrate my triumphant return to blogging, we are gonna have another Theme Week! This week we're tackling all the Hunger Games: Catching Fire themed chocolate bars I could get my hands on! Hold onto your butts, it's gonna be a gimmicky, chocolatey ride!

Now, I am not a fan of the Hunger Games. I read the first book, found Katniss to be a terrible protagonist that I didn't care about, and moved on. I am told, however, that the movies fix a lot of the problems I had with the book, so I suppose I should get off my duff and actually watch them. Still! I've never let my dislike for a movie stop me from enjoying any movie tie-in foodstuffs that might be lurking about, so let's dive in with the offerings from Wild Ophelia's Catching Fire line! First up, District 5 - Power.

This just screams dystopian future!

This bar is exactly what it says on the tin package: Caramel Corn and Chocolate. I will admit I like the packaging on this one. Good placement of the tie-in logo, good placement of the manufacturer's logo, nice font choices, etc. I dislike the color palette used because it really makes the District 5 symbol and  the "Power" label hard to make out. Oh well, at least the candy description is easy to read. Let's open it up!

What, no Golden Ticket? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

The bar itself is a little underwhelming. I would expect that a $5 chocolate bar would AT LEAST have the District Symbol molded into the chocolate. Instead all we get is this "diagonal line" pattern. The candy bar smells like dark chocolate and caramel corn, which is a good sign. How does it taste? 

First off, this is some pretty good dark chocolate. Just sweet enough to be extremely tasty without being in the same "super bitter" category as those crazy 85% cacao bars you see in the gourmet section of the candy isle. I mean, I LIKE those chocolates, but this will have much better mass market appeal since it tastes very distinctly different than, say, a Hershey's Dark Chocolate(-ish) product. The bar has visible "bits" of caramel corn in it, but their flavor is not very strong. It adds some brown sugar sweetness to the overall flavor profile, but it is almost an echo rather than a partner to the chocolate. I think it would have benefited from a thicker chocolate bar so that you could have bigger pieces mixed in. It could be better is what I'm saying.

On the FACE Rating System, the District 5 Bar gets 1 smiley face. It's a pretty good dark chocolate bar, but I don't think it was worth its original price. I paid $3 for this, and I feel that's still a bit expensive for what I got. If you get a chance to try it though, it's decent. Tune in tomorrow when we continue our highly ironic journey through the world of Hunger Games themed designer chocolates!