Kotas Reviews Hershey's Pumpkin Spice Kisses and the Russell Stover Dark Chocolate Red Velvet Pumpkin

Hello everyone! I've been taking a bit of a break recently due to a variety of reasons, but now we're back with...more Halloween stuff. Yeah, I know, Halloween was weeks ago, but the plethora of leftover candy has kept me in a bit of a candy coma for a while. Still, I'm back now, and boy do we have some treats for you. First up, Hershey's Pumpkin Spice Kisses.

Ain't she a beaut?

Hershey's Kisses are one of the best ways to enjoy their rather uniquely American take on chocolate, being big enough to be satisfying, yet small enough not to feel like you are gorging yourself. This combines to let you look wistfully into the empty bag and wonder what exactly just happened. Still, I am generally dubious of anything that goes outside the usual parameter of "chocolate, and nothing else". Let's have a look see!

Very underwhelming, really.

These look less like a traditional Hershey Kiss, and more like the inferior white chocolate cousin, the Hershey Hug. Hugs are, at best, something to eat when you want some candy, but have nothing better. I do not particularly care for white chocolate, and Hugs get no love from me. Then again, maybe this one will be the flavored candy that alters my opinion.

A box without hinges, key or lid, yet inside whitish goo is hid!

Well, they certainly smell pumpkin spicey. Much more spice than pumpkin, yet there is a hint of it. Instead of being a solid candy all the way through, this one is a very soft center coated in a durable waxy shell. The Kiss doesn't lend itself well to this sort of thing usually but in this case, it seems to be fairly well done. The flavor is like eating a bit of heavily spiced gingerbread wax filled with some sort of creamy...something. It is incredibly artificial tasting, but it's not bad if you like nutmeg and gingerbread. There might be the barest hint of pumpkin flavor, but I couldn't find it.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 frowny face. They really aren't terrible or anything, but I would describe them as a good presentation of a terrible recipe. The flavor is not pumpkin, but it is spice...gingerbread spice. The mouth feel is waxy and unappealing. I did enjoy the foil though, and the little paper flag is of the highest quality. Not really recommended except for that rare breed of Hershey Kiss Completionist.

Next up from the bargain bin we have the Russell Stover Red Velvet Dark Chocolate Pumpkin. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? There are a large, LARGE number of different flavored candy pumpkins that Russell Stover produces each year, and this one comes from the veritable wall that my local drug store had for sale.

Look at that face! It just screams "legitimate pumpkin candy".

Russell Stover is what I call a "low tier" chocolate maker. They put out a huge variety of average quality chocolates, along with a cornucopia of themed sweets. They are at their best when you want a lot of different kinds of chocolate confections in one box, for cheap, but their theme items are only fair to middlin' in flavor. Great on price though! Let's see what mysteries await us!

That's not very pumpkin-y. It could just as easily be an ornament shape.

Now it is even less pumpkin than before!

Well, I can't say I'm excited to see this. I am not sure what I was expecting, but this is really just a candy disk with a nub at one end. It could be almost anything, so I suppose pumpkin is as likely as any other vaguely round object with a distinctive appendage. It smells of dark chocolate and...maybe devil's food cake. This is actually an encouragement, since Red Velvet cake is just Devil's Food cake with some food coloring and a good marketing department.

The flavor is, in a phrase "fucking terrible". The chocolate makes a bold attempt at being something worth eating, but it has too much of that cheap, artificial flavor to pull it off. The filling tastes like sand mixed with sugar, paste and suffering. The thing actually crunches as I chew it, as if I were consuming aquarium gravel or possibly ground glass. I managed to choke down half of the thing, and gave the other half to my long suffering wife. She boldly consumed as much as I did, and for that, I owe her. I did not gag though, so I suppose that's a plus.

On the FACE Rating System, this travesty gets 3 frowny faces. Stay the hell away from it, unless you hate yourself. Wash it down with  Bud Light Chelada for that authentic taste of misery and despair. Leftover candy is not all it is cracked up to be, that is for sure!

Kotas Reviews The Pumpkin Masters Jumbo Pumpkin Carving Kit

Happy Halloween everybody! I absolutely LOVE Halloween. It may in fact be the perfect holiday. You go around, threatening others with vague maliciousness until they give you candy, and you avoid retribution by putting on an elaborate disguise! In addition, you are supposed to scare the bejeezus out of people at the same time! Truly a fantastic holiday that also involves the ritual defacement of gourds. 

As a child, and even into my adulthood, I have always wanted to do Halloween "right". Elaborate decorations, a robust assortment of candy, and scaring everyone who dared approach for said candy. In one way or another I managed to accomplish all of that, except one thing. My parents and later on, myself, were always really really  bad at carving Jack-O-Lanterns. Oh, they looked alright, but they were never particularly spooky or interesting. Well friends, TODAY THAT ENDS. This year? I decided to, with the prompting of my spouse, pick up the product that will solve all my pumpkin carving related problems.

Pumpkin Masters: In Color.

You know, for $5, this is a decent package. You get a plastic scraper thing, a pumpkin saw, and a plastic poker dealy. The label promises "stronger tools", so I'm sort of concerned about what the previous level of tool strength was, but oh well. Onward!

Isn't that spectacular? Hint: No.

SPOOOOOOOOOOKY!

So this kit comes with the three tools and five sheets of patterns for various spooky carving fun. The basic idea is that you wet the pattern, slap it on the pumpkin, and then use it as a guide for your carving, the end result being a pretty awesome pumpkin carving. Seems simple enough, right? Right. 

My long suffering wife was actually the one to utilize the tools for their intended purpose. This was decided upon when I was required to put our own Little Monster to bed, in spite of the fact that said Little Monster wanted to stay up and run around. Luckily, I got to help with the clean up and did use all the tools at least once. I also took some pictures.

The lucky victim subject, a hollow shell of its former self.

The directions state that one should cut a hole in the bottom of the pumpkin, and scrape it down to one inch in thickness. The scraper actually works pretty good for this purpose and the pumpkin was mostly hollowed out by the time I arrived on the scene. I used it later for some additional clean up work, and it is a lot faster than using a spoon, simply due to the width of the blunt blade bit. You could probably also use this for light spackling, but that's not why we are here today. The next step is to slap on the pattern and throw some cling wrap around it. Then, the butchering begins.

My face! My beautiful face! Stare into my accusing eyes!

The pattern stayed on really well, surprisingly enough, though the cling wrap we had some problems with. It mostly worked as intended though, keeping the mess to a minimum. One slip up we had was that you are supposed to carve from the inside to the outside, but we ended up doing it the other way 'round. Oops. This caused a few problems with the final detail cuts, as the pumpkin did not have nearly the stability necessary for them.

Sorry nifty belly feathers, you aren't getting cut today.

Most of the cutting is done by using the awl thing to poke a starter hole, and then use the saw to slice through the pumpkin. The awl is kind of cheap as hell. It's bendy, flimsy, and we almost broke it a few times. The saw was considerably better, and cuts fairly quickly through the pumpkin's succulent flesh, but the blade has a tendency to bend a bit during the process, which is good for getting those curved portions, and bad for keeping the blade around for more than one or two full uses. 

All done! Doesn't look like much, does it?

The pattern scraps come off pretty easy, and you are left with your dazzling creation. I don't have much of an eye for such things, Unlit jack-o-lanterns always look odd to me, since you can't really see what the artist intended. But they know what they were going for, and when you add a candle?

It's got it where it counts.

On the FACE Rating System, I give this kit 2 smiley faces. Sure, the tools are kind of cheap, but at $5 for the whole shebang I wasn't expecting them to be particularly sturdy, though the scraper is pretty solid. It certainly enabled us to have a fancy dancy pumpkin this year, even if between us we have all the artistry of a 4th grade art class. True masters of the gourd carving art will want to avoid, but for the rest of us? $5 well spent. In addition, since the majority of the tools are pretty blunt (the plastic awl being the exception), these tools are a lot safer than Ye Old Kitchen Knife around the kiddos.

Kotas Reviews Fruity Yummy Mummy

Welcome to Day 5 of Monster Cereals Week! Today we unwrap the mystery of the final Monster Cereal, the mysterious and yet still incredibly silly Fruity Yummy Mummy! Fruity Yummy Mummy is the latecomer to the Monster Cereal party, debuting in 1988 and being discontinued in 1993. It was General Mills' second attempted at a generic "fruit flavored" cereal and replaced Frute Brute in the line up, if only briefly. Again, this is one I missed out on as a kid, usually because my cereal tastes by that point were growing up, as was I. It was originally a fruit-flavored cereal with vanilla marshmallows, but the current incarnation is the surprising choice of orange creme flavored. Will it curse us for disturbing its rest? Let's find out!

What's wrong with your faaaaaaaace?

Clearly, Ancient Fruity Egypt did not have much of a dental plan. Look at that thing! I've never seen a mono-tooth before. And check out the shoddy workmanship on the wrappings of the forehead! Coming loose like that is unacceptable! Anyway, the mascot isn't terrible. It's a cartoon mummy with multicolored wrappings and pretty much is what I imagined when I heard the phrase "Fruity Yummy Mummy". He's also the only Cereal Monster able to function at full capacity in sunlight, which explains why it is dawn on his box. Artificial Orange Cream Flavor is not what I would have chosen for my cereal, but I don't have a Fungineering degree. 

50 (well, 5) Shades of Reddish Colors!

The cereal pieces are a lot brighter than I was expecting after the Boo Berry debacle. They are red and orange, rather than the red and yellow of Frute Brute. The marbits are a bit boring in shape, with all of them either the generic "monster head" or just formless blobs, but the colors of orange and yellow are a welcome sight. The marbit density appears to be much higher than in any of the other fruit flavored Monster Cereals. Maybe this was just the lucky box! The cereal definitely smells of artificial orange cream, but the scent is not as strong as on Frute Brute. 

It's like a marker factory exploded into food

This was certainly an orange cream flavored cereal. It actually tastes like that, even if it is the fakey flavor you get from, well, every orange cream flavored thing ever. It is not a super strong flavor, but it is distinct and the marbits give a shock of flavor similar to Boo Berry. The difference is that it actually works in the cereal's favor. The Dry Run isn't bad, about on par with Frankenberry, but the Gold Standard? Wow, that orange cream flavor is very noticeable but not overwhelmingly so. The high marbit density means that each bite tastes pretty darn good, rather than a wasteland of awful punctuated by berry-ish "not badness". The cereal does degrade faster in milk than Count Chocula or Frankenberry, but gosh darn it, I still like it. The Aftermath is still a bit disappointing, though the milk was at least orange cream scented this time. I think I actually like this!

On the FACE Rating Scale I'd give this 2 smiley faces. It actually accomplishes what it set out to do in making an orange cream flavored cereal. Now, if you don't like orange cream (and I get that not everyone does) this is totally not the cereal for you, but if you do like it, give it a whirl. 

Thus concludes the glory of Monster Cereals Week! Hopefully I'll be able to do more Theme Weeks in the future, as I had a lot of fun with this, despite the boxes of leftover cereal. I have to say, Count Chocula still stands above the rest as my favorite of the five, but Fruity Yummy Mummy comes in as my next favorite. Frankenberry is probably better for people crazy about strawberry flavoring. The worst of them is probably Boo Berry, simply because it was all around awful, which I think is due to the current formulation. Frute Brute was just a shocking failure in the flavor department, even though it looked and smelled so good, which summoned the Twin Dragons of Disappointment: Excitement and Expectation. See ya'll next time!

Kotas Reviews Boo Berry

Welcome to Day 4 of Monster Cereals Week! Today we explore the world of the only incorporeal cereal mascot around, the groundbreaking Boo Berry! Boo Berry was released shortly after Count Chocula and Frankenberry made their debut, and was the third Monster Cereal. It was also the world's first blueberry flavored cereal, and I think it may be the only blueberry flavored cereal that's still around...if it's still flavored like blueberries. I remember this being fairly decent...if you like blueberries of course...when I was a kid. Let's take a peek into this spooky world of revisionism!

His eyebrows will haunt you forever

This mascot is definitely the hipster of the bunch, I mean, look at that HAT! And who wears a tie anymore? Does he have to go to the ghost formal? Is there a ghost office job where he files ghost paperwork and downs three ghost martini lunches? OH MAN. HE'S THE GHOST OF DON DRAPER! THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH! Still, he's got a certain style about him, definitely the most fashionable of the Cereal Monsters. Like Frute Brute, this is "Artificial Berry Flavor Frosted Cereal"...which means it probably tastes nothing like blueberries, because "berry" is a very generic term. I mean, it's not something completely made up like "Sharkleberry" or "Purplesaurus Rex", but it never actually tastes like anything nature produced.

I've got...only a tiny amount of the bluuuuuuues...

The cereal pieces are a deep, dark purple-ish color that is pretty much Not The Blue I was Expecting, and the marbits are the same colors as in Frankenberry. Same shapes too. Way to be a copycat, Boo Berry. Couldn't even use a proper shade of blue, had to go with "ugly purple" eh? Well, I guess we all have to make compromises in these tough times. The smell is definitely artificial berry-ish, though it is not very strongly scented, which is surprising. How does it taste?

It's not really all that appealing looking as something to eat

Well, it tastes stronger than Frute Brute, I'll give it that, though it is not exactly a high bar to leap over. The Dry Run was okay, I guess. It doesn't really taste like blueberries, but it does have a berry-ish flavor for the cereal pieces and the marbits. Where the surprises came in with this one was during the Gold Standard. I don't know what the deal is, but milk changes the flavor profile a LOT. It dampens the flavor of the cereal bits (though not to nothing), but it makes the marbits' taste much more acute. The effect is to give a mild berry flavor punctuated by little bursts of stronger flavor. I suppose the effect is kind of like eating blueberries in other, better cereals. That may be too much thought into it. The odd thing is...after some time in milk, where the other cereals (even FRUTE BRUTE to the degree that it has flavor) had their pieces stay crunchy and somewhat flavored, this stuff? Not so much. The pieces become soggy and lose a LOT of their flavor. I thought this might make the Aftermath better, and while it does have a hint of berry scent, the milk is pretty much flavorless. Odd.

Overall, on the FACE Rating System, I give Boo Berry 1 frownie. I've never had a particular desire to seek out a blueberry (or just "berry") flavored cereal, but if I did, this would not satisfy. It does have more flavor (at least until it sits in milk for a while) than Frute Brute, but the lack of visual appeal and oh so sad milk sturdiness leave it behind the other, better executed cereals. I'm gonna say it: I think it was better when I was a kid.

Kotas Reviews Frute Brute

Welcome to Day 3 of Monster Cereals Week! Today we examine a beast that hasn't been seen in over three decades, the mysterious Frute Brute! Some fun facts about Frute Brute. First, it was originally called Fruit Brute when it was first released, and purported to be "fruit flavored cereal with key lime marshmallows". The current incarnation changes the spelling, presumably to conform to whatever regulations there are about naming something "Fruit" when that something contains little to no actual fruit. It also changes the flavorings. This is a "cherry flavored cereal with spooky-fun marshmallows". How does it stack up? Well, let's take a look!

Is it just me, or does he sport an Elvis style this go around?

The mascot himself is...uh...kind of uninspired. He's pretty much any old generic cartoon werewolf with some green overalls on. I liked the original incarnation with the jaunty hat much better. Still, he's on theme and the art work IS well done. Huh, I just noticed that the same damn castle is on each of the boxes. I guess that is where they all live? Why would a werewolf live in a castle? Oh, and this is "Artificial Cherry Flavor Frosted Cereal". That does not inspire confidence. I don't know much about how this tasted when I was a kid, because they stopped making it before I had any say in what I ate for breakfast. I'm told that Knoxville favorite son Quentin Tarantino is a HUGE fan of it though.

No monochromatic color schemes in sight!

It's nice to finally see some risks being taken with this cereal. We have double the number of colors for the cereal pieces and marbits in purple, pink, and orange! The red ghost pieces are a "more different red" than the Frankenberry ones, and the yellow ones are a nice contrast. Not pictured is the rare "orange" piece that I found after these pictures were taken, clearly the result of dye cross contamination. The marbits were all in the "monster head" shape (or maybe just blob shaped) so that was a bit of a step back. This stuff has a very, VERY strong smell of artificial cherry flavoring, what in my youth I would call "red flavor". Let's see how it tastes!

Will it live up to the hype? You make the call!

Spoilers!

NO.

Sadly, the visual and olfactory portions of the experience are the best part of this giant bowl of disappointment. I didn't expect it to blow me away, but it was simply amazing how little flavor there was, especially after the smell was so strong. The Dry Run was like eating vaguely cherry-ish flavored sugar coated packing peanuts, sprinkled with marbits that tasted like any other "generic" marbit. Not even a hint of cherry flavoring to be had in them thar marbits, let me tell you. The Gold Standard was a little better, with the milk releasing a bit more flavor. That flavor was a very generic fruit-like flavor though, and only sort of resembled the artificial cherry flavors that the smell tantalized us with. Not awful, but certainly not up to the standards of Frankenberry's distinct strawberry taste. The Aftermath left us with very good smelling, but very weak tasting cherry-esque milk. You let me down, Frute Brute. You let Tarantino down. You let all the fans out there in Internet Land down. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this 1 frownie face. It would have been lower, but the cereal looks great and it was nice to see a bit more visual variety in this incarnation. Too bad the taste couldn't keep up with the sight and the smell. I mean, if it's called Frute Brute, I expect the flavor to hit me in the taste like, well, like a Brute. Let's hope your predecessor Boo Berry can do better!

Kotas Reviews Frankenberry

Welcome to the second day of Monster Cereals week! Yesterday we took a gander at the snazziest breakfast vampire to ever hawk cereal. Today, we look at his oft-misunderstood counterpart, Frankenberry!

Made with Whole Grains! And LIGHTNING!

As a wee lad, I never appreciated Frankenberry as much as Count Chocula. Most fruit-flavored cereals of my day focused on multiple fruits (Froot Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Fruity Marshmallow Krispies, etc.), so a "single fruit" cereal was somewhat rare. Also, I wasn't that big into "pink" for the color of my breakfast. As time passed I came to appreciate this stuff a bit more, especially the design for good old Frank. I mean, look at him! Built in goggles, a random gauge on his head, a whistle...could Frankenberry be the first Steampunk mascot?

Frankenberry was always portrayed in the commercials as the more fun loving of the Cereal Monsters, up for any old shenanigans so long as he got to deliver his cereal to kids. Huh, it sounds a lot creepier when you put it that way. Anyway, it's claim to fame cereal-wise was that it was a SHOCKING color of pink. The original pink coloration was some pretty nasty stuff, being nigh indigestible for a lot of kids and leading to some worried calls to doctors before they switched recipes. Let's look at the modern incarnation.

Yeah, not very pink is it? I left out a marbit that IS pink, but other than that? Not much pink to be hand in this strawberry cereal. The ghost pieces are more a dark red, and the marbits come in purple, white, blue, and pink. They are shaped like ghosts, bats, and "monster heads" maybe. It carries an unmistakable "totally fake strawberry" scent that you usually only smell when eating really cheap strawberry-ish candy. I will say that it is unlike any other fruit flavored cereal I've eaten.

No pink to be found in this sad lie of a bowl

Unlike Count Chocula, the cereal pieces do not have a strong strawberry flavor. It's there, but it sort of shares the spotlight with that generic corn cereal taste. The marbits on the other hand are incredibly strongly flavored of artificial strawberry. Did you ever get a Strawberry Crunch Good Humor bar? Yeah, it tastes almost exactly like the strawberry ice cream you find in those. 

The Dry Run of this cereal is decent. The flavor is not nearly as strong as with Count Chocula, though the marbits are certainly more noticeable in the mix. It retains the milk-defying properties of the Count, so the Gold Standard tastes pretty good. The milk adds a nice dairy contrast to the fake strawberry taste, and again, the Aftermath is a crushing disappointment. Where Count Chocula at least had a bit of chocolate flavor, this has almost none. Frankenberry is not one to easily give up its secrets, even to the awesome power of 2% milk!

On the FACE Rating System, this one gets 1 smiley face. I like it as a change of pace from Count Chocula, but it will never be my "go to" Monster Cereal. I do like the mascot though, and think he adds some interest to the marketing. Tomorrow we have a Howling Good Time with our recently returned buddy...FRUTE BRUTE!

Kotas Reviews Count Chocula

Hey everyone, it's the middle of October! Do you know what that means? It means the MONSTER CEREALS ARE BACK! What's that? You don't know what the Monster Cereals are? Let me tell you! So, years and years ago (1971 to be exact, thanks Wikipedia!), General Mills decided that a series of monster themed breakfast cereals might be a big hit. They were right, mostly. Very, VERY loosely based on the Classic Universal Monsters, the Cereal Monsters are (in order of appearance): Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, Fruit (or Frute in the modern incarnation) Brute, and Fruity Yummy Mummy. They are some of the most processed, sugary, terrible for you cereals known to human kind. And I love them So. Very. Much!

Today's review will be the first in a series as I eat my way through all five current incarnations of our lovable teeth rotting monstrosities who want nothing more than for you to enjoy their delightfully artificial cereal products. Part of a balanced breakfast...if that breakfast consists of a head of lettuce and maybe a piece of fruit.

The first victim entry is the one with the most longevity: Count Chocula. He was one of the very first Monster Cereals (along with Frankenberry) to emerge from their devilish slumber and was the last one to still be available all the year round (until 2010, when all the Cereals went seasonal). Let us examine our subject!

I vant to be in marketing!

As you can see, the current box art is pretty snazzy, even if it does go with that "way to close to the camera" perspective so popular with Hollywood these days. He's creepy and he's cooky, but not particularly terrifying. Which is probably pretty good considering you want your kids to BUY your vampire themed cereal. He also does not sparkle in sunlight, which is a plus.

When I was a kid, Count Chocula was always my favorite, as I absolutely loved chocolate flavored cereal. I also happen to be a fan of tiny marshmallows (or marbits as the cereal aficionados call them). In the olden days, the cereal pieces were round wheel shaped things, and the marbits were just little TicTac looking things. But now? BEHOLD.

LOVE ME.

The cereal pieces are spooky ghosts! And the marbits? Well, they are uh...I think that's a bat...and that might be a spooky ghost..thing. And a blob. Or maybe another ghost? Whatever, they are certainly bigger than in the old days. "Spooky-fun Marshmallows" indeed. This stuff smells like Lucky the Leprechaun and Sonny the Cuckoo Bird crammed their respective cereals together and THIS is the result.

Part of this balanced...uh...you know what? Screw it.

It's pretty attractive in the bowl, with good visual appeal. The old stuff was sort of generic looking breakfast cereal, but with the current shapes it actually feels like a MONSTER cereal, or at least a Halloween themed one. The cereal pieces taste a lot like Cocoa Puffs, but coated in this sugary substance that adds a bit of extra sweetness (and durability in milk). The marbits taste vaguely chocolatey, but otherwise like any other marbit from a cereal.

There are three stages to sugary kids cereal tasting: The Dry Run, where you eat the cereal without milk, The Gold Standard, which is cereal and milk together, and the Aftermath, which is how the leftover milk tastes when you are done. The Dry Run of Count Chocula is pretty tasty, and I would (and do) totally eat this stuff as a snack or dessert sans dairy.

Unlike a lot of kids cereals (The Pebbles line is particularly notorious), it does not completely disintegrate in milk, so the first bite is only a bit drier than the final bite during the Gold Standard experience. The Aftermath however, is a mild disappointment. You see, I'm used to cereals like Cocoa Puffs and Cocoa Rice Krispies, which turn your milk into a yummy after breakfast treat. This? Well, the milk DID pick up some cocoa flavor, but it was really weak and kind of sad. I suspect the sugary stuff that coats the pieces prevents flavor leeching, so I suppose it is an okay trade off.

Overall, I give this 2 Smileys on the FACE Rating System. It is probably one of my top cereal brands of all time, though it isn't good enough to rate number one. The Count himself is one of the most personable mascots ever, in that fun-loving spooky (but not really scary) kind of way. Tomorrow, we examine his direct counterpart, Frankenberry!

Kotas Reviews the Russell Stover Caramel Apple

It's October, and you know what that means! Oktoberfest beers, funky candy, and Halloween Costumes! We here at Kotas Reviews Everything find that this is a fruitful time to harvest many, many reviews, and it is only fitting to start the month off with a review of candy.

Our Subject For Today

Today's experiment is the Russell Stover Caramel Apple confection, presented to me by a co-worker who shares my obsession with themed candy. The packaging is nothing special, your typical Russell Stover "large piece" candy wrapper with a picture of the treat on the outside, and a cartoon font "Caramel Apple" under which is written "Naturally Flavored". This is Russell Stover, folks. Naturally Flavored by horrible chemicals is more it's bag, even if those chemicals are strangely addicting.

The picture on the front of the wrapper is, in fact, an accurate picture. You get a vaguely apple shaped..disc? Wafer? Something apple shaped and flat, made of milk chocolate, and drizzled with dark chocolate. My co-worker claims it tastes exactly like a caramel apple. Is she right? Well, sort of. The first bite IS almost exactly like a caramel apple, you know, one of the ones with a huge layer of caramel and chocolate on it? That first bite is essentially nothing but chocolate and caramel and a hint of apple flavor, and this candy accurately reconstructs that flavor for your enjoyment. However, that is all it does. It does not taste very strongly of apple, just a hint of it in the caramel that does not linger on the tongue.

Honestly, it tastes pretty good, all caramel and chocolate-y goodness, but I was disappointed in the lack of strong apple flavor. It's not bad, but I've had better. On the FACE Rating System, I give it 1 Smiley. Good effort, and I might choose it over other candies, but it could use better packaging and more apple flavor.

Post Script

It apparently also comes in a variety with peanuts, though it is probably not worth reviewing that separately.

Kotas Reviews Halloween Candy Again

This is another edition of Halloween Candy Reviews. Today’s candidates are Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins and Halloween Oreos.

The Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin is a mainstay of the Halloween Season, in both regular and “fun” sizes. I will be reviewing the Fun Size edition. The packaging is slightly clever, with a pumpkin motif incorporated into the usual Reese’s logo. The candy itself is “sans cardboard” and also the little “candy cup” wrapper that a Reese’s cup usually has wrapped around it. It is vaguely pumpkin shaped, but just an outline. In fact, it looks sort of like a kidney. The flavor is, in my opinion, better than a standard Reese’s cup, because of a more pleasing chocolate to peanut butter ratio. On a scale of 5 frowny faces to 5 smiley faces, I give it 1 smiley. The aesthetics show that they tried to be clever. The execution was lackluster, but the taste is actually a little better.

The Halloween Oreo is a “standard” holiday Oreo, that is, an Oreo cookie with themed components. The packaging is the Oreo Blue with high quality Halloween artwork. A large blue-black cauldron full of orange liquid being stirred by slightly sinister witches, with the Oreo logo slashed over the cauldron and the world “Halloween” appended to it (with an appropriate font of course). Recognizable and well executed. The Oreos themselves are standard Oreos, but with two changes: 5 “Boo-rific” shapes on the cookie portion, and neon orange creme filling. The cookie shapes are nice enough, I guess, but the orange creme just catches the eye and combined with the black of the chocolate cookie presents a striking Halloween color scheme. The taste is that of an Oreo, with a bit more creme that I would expect from an Oreo. A co-worker swears they taste better than regular ones, but I can’t really tell a difference. I give this 3 smiley faces. It’s a classic that has been well themed for the season.

Kotas Reviews Halloween Candy

So, for the Halloween Season, I’m going to occasionally give in to my desires for novelty candy and I will review whatever I happen to eat. Today’s entries: Candy Corn Oreos and Cadbury Screme Eggs.

The Candy Corn Oreo is a strange beast. Most holiday Oreos fall into three categories: themed shapes on the cookie portion, season appropriate colors for the filling, or a combination of both. This one changes up the old ideas by using the vanilla cookie of a Vanilla Oreo and a filling with two different colors. Madness, I tell you! The smell is very sweet and cloying, and resembles candy corn fairly closely, if not perfectly. The flavor is almost but not quite unlike Birthday Cake flavored ice cream, with an overtone of candy corn in the aftertaste. I finished an entire cookie, and I sort of wanted another, but chose not to indulge further since there were limited specimens available and I wanted other people to try them. On a scale of 5 frowny faces to 5 smiley faces, I give it 1 smiley face. I’d eat them again, but I don’t know if I’d go out of my way to get them. Not bad though.

The Cadbury Screme Egg (not a typo) comes in a purple and black foil. It is shaped exactly like a regular Cadbury Egg. The filling inside is tinged green, which I suppose is the Screme part. Now, I expected this to be some eyeball frying neon green, like you see in other “visually different yet otherwise the same” type of treats, but it is sort of...pale? It looks to me like they took the white fondant from a regular Cadbury Egg, sort of half-assedly put a few drops of green food coloring in, and called it a day without even mixing it properly. Not very Screme worthy, let me tell you. It tastes exactly like a Cadbury Creme Egg, which is to say delicious. I’m actually sort of disappointed in these, since they seem to be an afterthought or a cheap, half-assed cash grab into the biggest candy season of the year. There’s just no heart in these. The Candy Corn Oreos were clearly done with forethought and planning. This one gets 1 frowny face for disappointment.