Kotas Reviews Ghostbusters Key Lime Slime Twinkies

It's funny how things in pop culture are recycled over time. Popularity comes unexpectedly, is carried through to a multi-media blitz. The public finally tires of it. And then Ralston gets the rights to the cereal. Such is the cycle of pop cultural life..or at least, it would be in any sane world. Today we live in a world where movies are ascribed ridiculous amounts of meta-textual meaning that perhaps is unwarranted. But you know what? We're not here to discuss that. Some new fuckin' Twinkies came out. Let's dive into...Ghostbusters Key Lime Twinkies

I ain't afraid o' no promotion!

Well Hostess, your triumphant return to the realm of snack foods has heralded a greater variety of Twinkies than I've seen in years. Seriously, the banana ones are a staple of the snack cake isle at my local grocery, albeit with less media tie ins. So what do we have here? Well, for one thing, this is both very interesting AND super lazy tie in box art you can have. The background art is superb, with the box dripping in slime and the "slime" font for the flavor title is fantastic. That said? The tie in portion of our box is the Ghostbusters logo, with the word "Ghostbusters" beneath it. Hell, the phrase "LIMITED EDITION" gets more billing than the actual movie title! And where is a picture of the cast, or at least, you know, SLIMER? The OBVIOUS FUCKING CHOICE HERE? Did the rights cost just a little TOO much this time? Hostess has a lot to learn from Minute Maid in this regard. Eh, let's tell 'em 'bout the Twinkie.

Representing the sum total of paranormal activity occurring in my kitchen.

Again, this just strikes me as odd. The picture on the box led me to believe we would be getting a Twinkie with BRIGHT NEON GREEN filling that would zap your mouth with key lime insanity. Instead we get this...oddly unappetizing moldy looking green mash that actually has what appear to be flecks of dark green...Egon only knows what in it. Even the underside holes look filled with horror rather than delightful flavor (side note: Heh heh, filled holes ya'll). These sort of look like they went through the wrong machine. Still, they smell appropriately key limey, and, well, gross out foods are a staple of childhood, right? No? Just me then? DAMN IT. Let's eat.

Ghostbusters is, at its heart, a media property about using your science brain to solve problems and shoot spooky, yet visually interesting monsters with brightly colored zap guns before you shove them into a box. Zany food tie ins are practically printing money for this franchise. So, how in the world did you make them this BORING? The key lime flavor is incredibly muted with these, to the point where it almost detracts from the sweetness of the filling. You should be crossing flavor streams in my mouth, causing full protonic reversal of my taste buds, but instead, it is full of meh. Did you just take a leftover box of Key Lime flavor dust and add it to the creme, not really making sure to get the proportions right? What a snooze fest. From a Twinkie no less!

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 2 frowny faces. It's a lazy, Class 5 Cash Grab, a real nasty one at that. The idea is great on paper, but the execution falls about as flat as you can get, mostly due to what I can only imagine is a lack of giving a shit. If you are a flavor completionist, maybe try and score one on the cheap or for free, but don't actually bother. Boring is actually worse than simply being bad, or just not working out. Never be boring with your tie-ins! You have the tools, you have the talent, but you apparently just left all that at home for this one.