Kotas Reviews Lay's IHOP Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity Potato Chips

 As the Season of Giving slowly comes to a close, it is a time to reflect on the things we cherish. Family, friends, incredibly weird food items, and of course, reviews! Occasionally in this line of work, I have requests from people. These requests are either verbal, via text, or in some very special cases, gifted via mail! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at Lay's IHOP Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity potato chips.

It does exist!

Okay, I have a long history with The International House of Pancakes, colloquially known as IHOP. It was one of those places my mother used to love to go to for...whatever reason, and frankly, I was there for it. Sure, it's a slightly gussied up greasy spoon, but I love me some damn pancakes and all the breakfast that surrounds it. In fact, after quitting a job, I once drove to IHOP for all you can eat pancakes to soothe my soul. It worked! Anyway, why the hell is it now coming to me in chip form? Frito Lay, my dudes, y'all be smokin' the good stuff I fear. Never in the history of ever has anyone outside of the Frito Lay Flavor Lab thought that this was a GOOD idea. Still, it is one of those long shots where, IF you can pull it off, you will win the people's acclaim and fame forever. Let's open it up.

It's what I imagine the surface of Mars looks like, if it was made of potato chips.

I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but "lightly dusted with red flavor dust chips" is certainly what I should have expected. The bag proclaims it is "Strawberry Topped Pancakes with Syrup and Bacon" along with "A taste of breakfast anytime." And, you know? The Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity was the go to order for my old Physics teacher back in high school, because he would have meetings of the Physics club at IHOP. Weird times. 

We here at Kotas Reviews are no stranger to dessert potato chips. Some are "fine", some are bad, and some are, well, still just "fine" I guess. Sugar and potatoes go together in strange ways. These are gonna be syrupy, strawberry, bacon flavored. Uh, down the fuckin' hatch I guess. 

Boy, that is certainly a flavor. The freeze dried strawberry flavor is what hits you, with a surprisingly sour initial note that fades into a sweeter version, then some maple-ish sweetness. The aftertaste is where you get a hint of something almost but not entirely unlike bacon and/or liquid smoke. The predominant flavor is that weird strawberry (which is definitely just freeze dried strawberries ground up into dust) sweet/sour hit, followed closely by just "potato". The more you eat of them, the less sour each bite becomes as you acclimate to this utterly bizarre flavor. It's not good. At all. But it is also not terrible. Mostly it is confusing as hell. I don't understand why you exist, chips. 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 Frowny Face. You were pushed out into a world that never asked for you, and you performed as poorly as expected. But you weren't poison, so I guess that's something. 

Kotas Reviews Electric Lime and Sea Salt Lays

Ah, it's Spring. The time of hay fever, 30 degree temperature swings over the course of 8 hours, and whatever new flavor monstrosities that Lay's has cooked up for us over the winter. We're reaching the long tail of this phase of flavor expansions though, as you'll see. I've seen this before, when a company has run through innumerable flavor combinations and just starts jamming together crap and slapping a weird name on it. I saw it with Kool-Aid, I saw it with Oreo, and I'm seeing it again with Lay's. But ya'll ain't here for a history lesson, so let's get to it. Today we review Lay's Electric Lime and Sea Salt chips.

Wavy, because shut up!

Here we go again down the rabbit hole of chip flavors that the Lord Himself never intended. I do appreciate a willingness to experiment, but at this point I think the R&D folk are just snorting flavor dust and randomly assigning things. Eh, let's get on with it. The bag is actually kinda cool, with a shiny foil edging, but the main picture, while well staged, is just sorta...meh? If it's so damn electric why aren't there lightning bolts or something around the lime and sea salt? No, it looks like an unfinished art installation. Still, it's not terrible and a meh package often conceals a taste sensation. Shall we open it? WE SHALL!

I bless the green flakes on my WAAAAAVY CHIIIIIIIPS! (with apologies to Toto)

They ain't much to look at, are they? They sort of resemble sour cream and onion chips, and have a similar looking flavor dust: white with green specks. What makes these electric again? I guess there is only one way to find out! Well, that wasn't what I expected, but I guess you could call it electric. The tang of citric acid is incredibly strong on these chips, almost overwhelming the lime flavor, but not quite. Additionally, the potato flavor is also incredibly strong, which doesn't mesh well with citric acid. You know what is really weird though? There is almost NO salt flavor! That's right, a chip whose two claims to fame are Lime and Sea Salt, only managed to get one of them even on the chip. Now, it's not a terrible flavor. I did not spit it out, and I will finish the bag eventually. It's just incredibly weird and disappointing. I think the lime part may have had a sweetness to it that somehow cancelled out the salt flavor, because these are potato chips so OF COURSE they have salt on them. It is just a really baffling flavor.

On the FACE Rating System, these chips get 1 Frowny Face. I can appreciate creativity and novelty as much as the next person, but this is just something that happened when a few of the people down in the Flavor Lab got high and started hallucinating. If you really love citric acid, and also think that it would go great with potato, I suppose these are the chips for you. For me however, I will move on to other, hopefully actually decent flavors.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese Chips

So, Do Us A Flavor rolls on, and we come to our final (so far) bag of nonsense that's been released. I really have to hand it to Frito-Lay, they aren't afraid to toss out any old flavor and see what sticks. I'm still kinda sad that the Cappuccino chips didn't work out, because they made a GREAT ice cream topping, though they really weren't good for much else. Still, if you don't try everything, you might miss something, right? That's the kind of attitude that brings us to today's offering. Ladies, Gentlemen, and budgies, today we take a look at Lay's Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese chips.

Kettle Cooked even, just like Mom used to buy.

 The Everything Bagel is what you get when you mix thrift with a variety of bagels, or at least some of them. When I was a kid, I always assumed it was what you got when you took a bunch of "bagel dough scraps" left over from making OTHER bagels, and then threw them all together into a glorious Frankenstein's Breakfast sort of way. Still, considering you never saw any sweet bagel portions in it, nor more complex bagels like Asiago Cheese or Sun-Dried Tomato, I should have known it was simply a snappy name for a bagel with "a giant pile of stuff" on it. Oddly, I always thought that the onion and garlic portions overwhelmed every other flavor in the bagel sort of defeating the point of this. So, let's see what they do with the chip version eh? 

Yup, that's a bagel with cream cheese alright. The chip next to it is pretty unimpressive, but it does sort of get the point across. Not sure why they went with purple for the accent color, but what do I know about marketing? Let's crack it open!

Sad, really.

Well, color me unimpressed. These chips look like chips with coal dust on them. The smell is very strong, but more reminiscent of sour cream than cheese, though not exactly like "sour cream and onion" chips either. I suppose there's a lot more garlic notes. The chips themselves have actual poppy seeds on them, though no sesame seeds, caraway seeds, or any other kind of seed. It's practically seedless, I tells ya. But who cares how it looks, it's a chip right? How does it taste?

For something labeled "Everything" it sure tastes a lot like "sour cream and onion and garlic" chips more than anything else. The onion and garlic flavors just completely dominate, though the sour cream flavor comes out a bit sometimes. What it doesn't taste like is a bagel and/or cream cheese. Oh, there's maybe a bit more tangyness to the sour cream note, but it's still basically sour cream flavoring. It's not a bad flavor, but it's not particularly unique or interesting, and it is so heavy that unless you paired it with something equally strong it will simply be the flavor of your meal. I can tell you that if it wasn't labeled "Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese" I would have no idea that is what you were going for, unlike the Crispy Taco chips. Kinda off the mark on this one.

On the FACE Rating System, it gets an unsurprising 0 Faces. They aren't bad, they aren't good. If you really, really like sour cream and onion chips and want something with a bit more garlic, these might be up your alley. They are not up my alley though. Not bad, Frito-Lay, and I applaud your creativity, but even the most creative corporation has a flavor dud sometimes.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Fried Green Tomato Chips

The Lay's Do Us A Flavor promotion for this year continues down a strange yet somehow familiar path, it seems, as we find ourselves with a primary food item being converted into a chip version. Have we gone too far this time? Is this truly the pinnacle of our horrible Frankensteinien food experiments? Or is this simply yet another in a long line of "uhhhh...what?" flavors of chips that has come before? Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get a bite of Lay's Fried Green Tomato chips.

Wavy like a Fox!

As a resident of the South, I should probably be familiar with these, but they were never a staple of my household growing up and seeing them in restaurants was always a novelty. In fact, I can't be sure, but I think when that movie I was a bit surprised to find that they were associated with Southern Cooking. My culinary journey is stilted and weird. Anycrap, we have these things from Lay's. The green packaging contrasts significantly with the picture of the red-dust coated chip, but it maintains the same level of detail and quality as other chips in this promotion, so that's good. Let's open it up.

Uh...huh. Probably won't see these at the Whistle Stop Cafe, that's for sure.

 Well, they smell quite tomato-y, though I couldn't tell you what distinguished it as "fried green". They look somewhat less flavor dust coated than the packaging would indicate, but that's okay, these things never get it perfectly right, eh? The flavor is...well, it has its own unique charm. It's got a strong dose of tomato, though it's more like sun dried than fresh (or fried. Or Green), but it also has a highly surprising spicy kick that I was not expecting. A few mouthfuls of these beauties and you'll have the makings of a sinus cleaning amount of heat. It's not a very flavorful heat though. I mean, there's the tomato flavor and then your mouth just gets...hot. It's not bad, but it's really weird as I absolutely was not expecting ANY heat, let alone a decent amount of it. I'm told that fried green tomatoes occasionally have a spicy kick depending on the recipe, so that's it I guess? Weird.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. I don't hate them. They taste alright I guess, if you like Spicy Sun-Dried Tomatoes, but they do not really remind me of Fried Green Tomatoes at all, and yes I have had them. It's not a flavor that I would go out of my way for, but if you really want something spicy, but are sick of all the traditional "spicy" type flavors (BBQ, Flamin', Nacho, etc), these might be fun to try. Or not. For me, they are quite "meh".

Kotas Reviews Lays Crispy Taco Chips

This grand season is upon us once again, as thoughts of a young individual turn toward one thing: Potato Chips. Yes, it's time for Do Us A Flavor 'round these parts people, and I can't wait to stuff my face! Frito-Lay has been getting more and more creative in its flavorings and this year we have a relatively calm bunch to choose from (so far, as who knows what this year's Cappuccino will be). So let's tackle the one that most resembles a pre-existing flavor! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a taste of Lay's Crispy Taco chips.

Nice and sassy!

The packaging this go around is of the "white with color accent variety, similar to their Lay's Kettle type packaging. The font is sufficiently sassy in a corporate kind of way, and the taco picture looks pretty darn tasty, with an example chip next to it for...reasons. Anyway, I like the art, though why Crispy Taco and not just Taco? As a chip, of COURSE it is gonna be crispy, and honestly I don't know how "Soft" would be conveyed as part of a "flavor" anyway. Let's open it up!

Once you go taco, you never go..back...oh.

A close up of one of these chips would look like a Mad Max movie location. Nothing but red dust and bleak chip-based wasteland as far as the eye could see. Still, it smells pretty good, in a "taco spices out of the packet" kind of way. As a friend of mine said, it's kind of like cheating for Frito-Lay. They own Doritos, and those chips have had a taco flavor since forever. Hell, it was recently brought back as a special nostalgia promotion, right? I've had those chips and they aren't anything special. So my expectations aren't super high on these. Let's eat this over with. 

Well damn, if it doesn't taste almost EXACTLY like biting into a Taco Bell crunchy taco, down to the barest hint of lettuce flavoring. It's got that hard to describe somewhat beefy overtone, with the spicing and veggie content I'd expect. Dare I say there is even a touch of the sour cream? I mean, it's like they went to Taco Bell, ordered a few dozen tacos, processed them into flavor dust, and put them on potato chips. Hot damn, this is actually pretty tasty, and it tastes almost nothing like the "packet of spices" flavor that Dorito Taco Flavor chips have. Now, not every bite is perfect, since the dust concentrations, while heavy, are a bit inconsistent, but these are easily munchable on most occasions. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Smiley Faces. Not an every day flavor, since these super strongly flavored chips would overwhelm most traditional chip pairings, but as an "on their own" snack they are superb at replicating the Taco Bell taco experience, if not an authentic taco experience. If you like Taco Bell, you sort of have to try these. If you don't, well, don't say I didn't warn you. Now excuse me, I have a bag to devour.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Chicken and Waffle Potato Chips

Occasionally we here at Kotas Reviews intend to review something, but it slips through the cracks. Gets lost in the shuffle, skipped over, or otherwise pushed aside until later. Sometimes it's much later. So imagine my surprise when I found a bag of these things tucked away in the pantry. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's take a look at a new twist on an old classic, Lay's Chicken and Waffle Potato Chips.

Better late than never, eh? Well...

So, these were a part of the Lay's All Stars promotion, where they take popular flavors from previous promotions like Do Us A Flavor and Flavor Swap and bring them back for a limited time. Because why the hell not, really? These hail from the very first Do Us A Flavor contest, back in the halcyon days of 2013, when life was simpler and..well, simpler right? RIGHT? Anyway, I didn't have them then, so I guess I'll have them now! The packaging is actually pretty nice, with a pretty yummy looking picture of chicken and waffles next to a lone potato chip. I also enjoy sky blue as a packaging color. Well, let's tear it open.

Well, they can't all be winners.

I'll be honest, these things look like plain Lay's chips. This is a triumph of flavor dust concealment, because the smell is equal parts savory and sweet, though they mix in a weird, yet non-offensive sort of way. They aren't quite as heavily scented as, say, the Szechuan Chicken chips were, but they get the point across. It's not quite chicken-ish though. The flavor holds more chicken essence, but the "waffle" part is almost non-existent. There is a bit of sweetness that almost tastes like syrup, but not quite. It's decent enough, but it doesn't wow me. The balance of flavors isn't really there, skewing heavily toward the chicken part, without any doughy or mapley flavors, just some sugar thrown haphazardly into the mix. Not bad, but certainly not what I think of when I eat chicken and waffles.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. They are okay, but I wouldn't seek them out. There is a bit of novelty factor to consider, and I do love the packaging, but most of you should really just pass on this. It's very mehtacular. 

Kotas Reviews Lay's Beer and Brats Potato Chips

Oh man it's my favorite time of year again! The sun is starting to peak out more, the cold weather is (slowly) being replaced by warmer days, the monsoons are showing up with more frequency, and yes, the Lay's Do Us A Flavor promotion is back again! These periodic flavor experiments fill me with delight because while they aren't always good, they at least show that Frito Lay is willing to think outside the box and really let their creativity shine by taking suggestions from the public and turning them into marketable goods for which the originator will get no compensation, no matter how popular they become! Hooray capitalism! Anyway, this year's chip adventure begins with Lay's Beer and Brats chips. Let's take a gander.

Sausage fest joke? Sausage fest joke!

I guess I was a little too bitter before, since this time there is a prize for coming up with "the best" flavor, which amounts to one MEEEEELLION dollars, or roughly equivalent to the spare change that the CEO pulled out of his car seats last Thursday. The packaging is surprisingly, uh brown, though DAT SAUSAGE, amirite? The beer looks remarkably like the beer from the old video game Tapper. Honestly, this theme surprised me, but upon reflection it makes absolute sense. One of the best times I've had at a cookout was scarfing down wieners and chips in massive quantities and washing it all down with cheap beer, and if they could encapsulate that experience in a potato chip, it would certainly save me the embarrassment of buying shitty beer. Let's crack 'em open!

Considerably less sausage than I was expecting. Less beer too!

Well, these are certainly chips. They have an amount of flavor dust on them, but they are not completely covered in it. The scent is vaguely backyard grill out, but not what I would call "bratwurst". Definitely sausage-esque though, so you know, decent effort. Of the beer there is but the faintest note of something that might be "shitty domestic", but really, it's hard to tell. Let's dig in, shall we?

The flavor is definitely savory and meaty, though identifying a particular type of "meat" would be difficult. I suppose you could call it roasted sausage, but I suspect that if I didn't know what it was supposed to be, I'd probably consider it just "meat-ish". There is more of the beer-ish flavor here, but not much. Still, it is definitely "shitty domestic" beer flavoring, so it's got that authentic American Backyard Cookout feel to it. You'll probably be surprised to hear that, despite it's inability to be a spot on flavor, it is very tasty on it's own merits. The savoriness compliments the potato and salt excellently, and the little bit of beer like overtones help clear the palette after eating (though not entirely). 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets One Smiley Face. These are very munchable, though if you were expecting a distinct "Beer and Brat" type flavor you will be somewhat disappointed. Definitely go try a bag if you are into savory chip flavors, and honestly, these would go great with Beer and Brats. Perhaps not Lay's finest effort, but it certainly isn't the Wurst!

Kotas Reviews Lay's Indian Tikka Masala Chips

Chip Week marches onward, as we continue our journey with the Passport to Flavor Lay's promotion. First though, some corrections. It turns out there IS a Chinese flag on the Szechuan Chicken chip bag, but it blends in with the rest of the artwork so as to be much less noticeable than the other flags.  Still, we press ever forward to glory, and salted potato goodness. Today we review Lay's Indian Tikka Masala Chips.

Kettle Cooked for her pleasure.

So, as you may have guessed, I like to learn a little about the origins of the various flavors and foods I consume. Tikka Masala is probably the wildest tale yet. I assumed, like many people, that tikka masala (usually CHICKEN tikka masala) was a traditional Indian dish. Then you have no less a personage than Robin Cook, a British Foreign Secretary, declare it to be a national dish of  Great Britain! Holy Appropriation of Cuisine Batman! BUT...the plot gets thicker. The origins of the dish are "wildly varying", but the mostly likely explanation according to Wikipedia is that it originated in Indian restaurants in Glasgow to appeal to the tastes of the locals. There are plenty of specific stories about which restaurant, as well as other origin stories (it's a variant of butter chicken, developed in India to appeal to British palettes, it's a form of street food that evolved in Delhi, etc) that can be found here. 

Now that we've discussed that, I actually really like the artwork. It's still very monochromatic, but the various shades of orange have more contrast than those of the other bags, and the Indian flag stands out nicely from it. The bag is just cheerful, and that's very nice. Let's open it up and see what's inside. Hopefully potato chips.

Behold the majestic potato chip, in its natural lair, the bowl.

Well, that bag is full of delicious spicy scents. They certainly managed to capture the essence of what I think of when I think "tikka masala", which is interesting because "tikka" refers to the size of the chicken chunks and "masala" just means "spice mix". So I guess this is the masala portion of our experience. It's a good one. The taste is quite good. Lots of spice and flavor, with enough heat to keep it interesting, though not as hot as the Szechuan chicken chips. These are quite munchable actually, and I kind of wanted to eat the whole bag in one go. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get an easy 2 smiley faces. I could easily eat these any time of day, for any reason and not be unhappy. I don't always want a flavored chip, but when I do, this would be one of my top picks. Nice job, Frito-Lay! Definitely recommended if you like Indian Food, or just interesting spice combinations on your chips. Go out and get some today!

Well, that concludes Chip Week, I guess, even if it's a day early. We just don't have any more flavors of chips to explore...hrm. But flavored chips aren't the only things that could slot into Chip Week. Stay tuned for the thrilling finale!

Kotas Reviews Lay's Greek Tzatziki Chips

It's Day 3 of Chip Week, and honestly, I'm getting a wee bit tired of eating potato chips. Nah, I'm just kidding, I love eating potato chips! Lay's in particular are very munchable, what with the whole "you can't just eat one" thing. I'm pretty sure they put some sort of addictive substance in them to make me crave them, probably "fat". What does the magical bag have in store for us today? Why, Tzatziki Chips!

Wavy with dignity.

So, this will be the second time a traditionally Greek food has been condensed into chip form by Frito-Lay, the first being the Gyro chips from last year. In this case, I think they did pretty well going with the Wavy variety and a flavor best suited to a dipping sauce than as a sandwich. The Greek flag is prominent along with other stereotypical Greek imagery. That tzatziki sauce bowl actually looks pretty good. Let's open it up!

Large and in charge.

I rather like the texture of Wavy chips, and they hold up a bit better in the bag too. The scent is pretty much like tzatziki sauce, though it has a bit of chemical under notes in the scent. The appearance is once again the very underwhelming "chip with green flecks" on it that is so dang popular this go around. Still, smells decent, looks like...well, chips. Let's dig in.

The flavor is almost exactly what you'd expect from a tzatziki flavored chip. What really astonishes me is that there is actually some cucumber flavor. Cucumber barely has flavor at all in the first place but to extract that minute bit and manage to generate flavor dust that has it as a distinct component is a marvel of snack food innovation. Frito-Lay certainly hit this one right on the nose, unlike some of their previous efforts. Bravo, chipgineers. Bravo. I think I'd prefer to just dip regular Wavy chips into tzatziki sauce, but when I'm feeling lazy (read: almost all the time) and just want that taste, you have filled a need I didn't know I had.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 smiley face. I wouldn't want to eat them all the time, but if I am in the mood for tzatziki sauce, these would fit right into that taste slot. They'd actually probably be really good mixed with the Gyro chips (or just an actual gyro, frankly), but they won't be for everyone. Give them a try! Unless you hate cucumber, then skip it.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Chinese Chicken Szechuan Chips

Chip Week continues, and so does our international tour de chip. One thing that Lay's has been trying more of is the meat flavored chip. We've seen bacon flavoring (for the bacon mac n' cheese chips), corned beef with the Reuben chips, and beef with the picanha chips. So why would we be surprised when they finally get around to the world's most popular meat, chicken? Well, we aren't. Today we look at Lay's Chinese Chicken Szechuan chips.

Nice font ya got there, I guess.

Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the art work. I do love the dragon and pagoda silhouettes, but...why not have the Chinese flag on it like the Brazilian ones had their flag? Also, the box of presumably Szechuan style chicken isn't the artwork I would have chosen. I probably would have had it on a plate, and made it somewhat classy looking. This looks...well, it looks kinda meh. Anyway, Szechuan (or Sichuan) style cuisine is known for its use of hot spices and garlic, though pork is far and away a more traditional meat to use than chicken. Still, everyone loves chicken right? I predict these will be spicy. Let's have a gander!

Behold the glory! The glory of relatively uninteresting looking chips.

None of these chips so far is winning any sort of appearance awards. These are a bit nicer looking than the picanha chips, with not just green flecks but red flecks, but they also have a distinct brownish tinge that is more prevalent on some chips than on others, and usually indicates there will be a higher concentration of flavoring on those chips. The scent is vaguely spicy and garlic-y, but doesn't smell too much like chicken. Maybe a little. 

The taste comes through with the chicken all right, though it is more like the chicken flavoring from Chicken in a Biskit than actual chicken. The spices though, those I am impressed with. A nice garlic overtone, with a generous, but not overwhelming portion of peppery spiciness that lingers in the mouth and accents the chicken flavor well. These chips are pretty munchable, and they stay mostly on target with their supposed flavor. Good job, Frito-Lay, this is pretty good! I particularly appreciate a good dose of hot that is coupled with actual flavor, as opposed to "hot for hot's sake" like so many other "spicy" snack foods.

 On the FACE Rating System, these chips get one smiley face. I'm not always in the mood for a spicy chip, but when I am I would probably choose these over a more generic spicy chip. Definitely give them a try, particularly if you like other chicken flavored snacks. Much more on target than the picanha chips, though I suspect if those were marketed as chimichurri chips, they would disappoint less.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Brazilian Picanha Potato Chips

Well, would you look at that. Another year has come around and it's time for Do Us A Flavor! Apparently this is going to be a yearly tradition with Lay's, though they are branding this one a "Passport to Flavor" because instead of voting for the flavor, you can collect points to win prizes or some such. Thank goodness, because summer is traditionally my slowest period for goofy foodstuffs. No longer must I endure the crushing ennui of choosing between the other two dozen flavors! My insatiable maw has never seen such novelty! Well, until next year anyway. Welcome to Chip Week, and Lay's Picanha Potato Chips.

So, is this a full Brazilian? Does this mean I don't have to shave now?

So, I know your first question: What is picanha? Well, according to this obscure website picanha is the most prized cut of beef in Brazil, and is known in North America as the "rump cover" or "coulotte". Sure sounds delicious to me! If you've ever been to a Brazilian style steak house, you would probably know this cut as the "house special". I've eaten at a few of these places and let me tell you, it is a pretty darn tasty cut of beef, especially if well seasoned. The other half of this equation is chimichurri sauce. Chimichurri sauce is a sauce for grilled meat, originating from Argentinian cuisine traditions, and the word is said to have Basque origins. In fact, the name means "a mixture of things in no particular order" when loosely translated. Sounds a lot like the blog you are reading. Anycrap, I like the packaging, with the little Brazilian flag and the green motif and all. Doesn't scream "BEEF" to me, but little does anymore. Let's see how they look.

In a soup bowl, because I'm not a savage.

Well, that was underwhelming. Once again we have the appearance of "more different sour cream and onion" chips. To be fair, it DOES match the picture on the front of the bag, but it's just so...uninspiring. The scent has some vaguely beefy overtones, but it's not super strong. There is a strong note of garlic though, which I rather like. The flavor is another disappointment. It's not bad, but once again we simply have "sour cream and onion++" chips. They taste like a slightly more garlic-y sour cream and onion chip, with an undertone of savory meatiness that may or may not be beef. I do like them better than regular sour cream and onion chips, since the third flavor mitigates the gross excesses of traditional Lay's Sour Cream and Onion chips, but I still am a bit disappointed. 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 faces. They taste pretty decent, but this is just another variant of sour cream and onion chips, which frankly we got last year. The big difference is that it replaces "mushroom undertone" with "meat undertone". If you are curious, or just want a better sour cream and onion chip, give these a whirl. They are decent tasting chips, they just aren't anything special. Though, I like them better than regular sour cream and onion chips, and would happily eat them at a party. I just wouldn't be able to tell you that they were "Brazilian Picanha" flavored.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Southern Biscuits and Gravy Potato Chips

One of my regrets from 2015 (one of the smaller ones anyway) was never quite getting to try all the flavors of Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" promotion. I hit three of four, but the Biscuits and Gravy flavor eluded my grasp. Even the best efforts of my sister in-law and her husband, who provided me with a small package of them in my "Get Well" basket of goodies could not get them to me, as they were lost in a tragic "I dropped them on the floor and they got stomped on" accident. Lucky for me, one flavor emerged victorious from the Lay's Thunderdome. It's long since past time for this to have happened. Today we look at, Lay's Southern Biscuits and Gravy potato chips.

Howdy, ya'll!

Behold the glory of Southern Biscuits and Gravy! You know, why is it that when something is called out as Southern, it is generally written in a slightly fancy italicized font? Do we really associate Biscuits and Gravy with Southern Style Classiness? Eh, I'll take it. For those of you who don't know, I love biscuits and gravy. I prefer sausage gravy above almost every other kind of white gravy, but the Cracker Barrel "Sawmill" gravy will do just fine, thank you very much. It's very stick to your ribs comfort food goodness, and I say bring it on. Southern Style Biscuits are totally a thing. Get a biscuit in New York and it is...well, it's just not the same. Anyway, let's rip open the bag!

Understated Ya'll!

Well damned if the scent isn't like that of a strong pepper gravy. It has potato elements to, unsurprisingly, but the look of the chip is...slightly underwhelming. Then again, I'm not exactly sure how one WOULD get across the idea of biscuits and gravy via look alone on a potato chip. It does have black flecks that I suppose are pepper, though they could be any myriad of things from various flavor dusts. Let's give 'em a taste!

Wow. I don't know what I was expecting when I tried this, but "pretty much sawmill gravy over potato chips" was not quite it. It's spicier than many white gravies, but damned if that isn't a fine flavor combination. There is a hint of something yeasty or bread-like that I suppose is the "biscuit" part of the equation, but it is not very strong and you'd miss it if you didn't know these were supposed to be "biscuit and gravy" flavored. I guess "White Pepper Gravy" doesn't look as good on the package though. I admit I ate through the bag quicker than I should have, but...hoo boy was it a good ride.

On the FACE Rating System, these get two fat and happy smiley faces. If you like biscuits as a vehicle for gravy and you also like potatoes, here is a fantastic way to combine both loves into a single glorious snackable. They are a bit on the heavier side of snacks though, so I wouldn't want to eat them every day. I would love to TASTE them every day. If you aren't a fan of white gravy though, these will not change your mind. Worthy of trying though!

Kotas Reviews Lay's Greektown The Gyro Potato Chips

Yeah, it's another chip review. The Do Us A Flavor promotion is still going strong, and as such, I am compelled to review each and every chip that I can before it ends. I will hand it to Lay's though, in a crowded market for "wacky flavors", this promotion manages to out wacky them all. Today we review Lay's Greektown Gyro Potato Chips. God help us all.

Kettle Cooked, as the Gyros of old were made.

 What is it with Lay's and adding location information to the flavor profile? What makes a Greektown Gyro different from any other gyro? The particular spices? The toppings? Does ANYONE know? Eh, whatever. I love me some gyros (pronounced YEAR-ow, according to my New York father) and all they come with. Gyro meat is a fine accompaniment to any meal, and goes well with a surprising number of dishes (trust me when I say a hamburger with Swiss and gyro meat on top is to die for), but how well does it translate to chip form?

The Chinet plate is how you know it's classy.

Well, the scent is a strange yet alluring mixture of potato chip and gyro-esque spices. In fact, the spice portion is quite obvious in the aroma. It smells pretty good, actually. The chips look like just about any other flavored chip, with a heaping of "flavor dust", so you know that they are trying. 

These things are incredibly savory and have a strong meaty flavor that is balanced by equal parts of "spice" though exactly what those spices are is hard to figure out. Pretty darn tasty though, but heavy. This is not a light side to accompany any dish, that is for sure.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 smiley face. They are pretty tasty, but very savory and heavy, not very good with a meal. Definitely worth trying for all you carnivores out there, maybe not so much for people who like solid, but not overwhelming, flavors.

Kotas Reviews Lay's New York Reuben Potato Chips

Lay's Potato Chips are often considered the Default Potato Chip of America. Thin, crispy, greasy and salty as hell, they represent the pinnacle of Classic American Snack Food. Of course, even the pinnacle of snack foods can't rest on its greasy, salty laurels for too long. Ladies and Gentlemen, today we look at Lay's New York Reuben Potato Chips.

What makes it a New York Reuben anyway?

The Reuben sandwich is a classic deli sandwich made up of corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing (or Thousand Island dressing in a pinch). Generally served on rye bread, it is a staple sandwich of comedy routines and old men who sit on stoops and play checkers.I have a love of most delicatessen foods, so naturally I am an aficionado of this sandwich, and I am very skeptical that it can translate into flavored chip form. Let's take a look at this beauties!

Sure, that's one serving...if you squint.

Well, they don't look like anything special, save for a faint reddish coloration from the flavor dust that coats them. The scent is definitely reminiscent of corned beef and sauerkraut, though there are no cheese or dressing aromas to accompany it. The flavors are, as expected, quite on the savory side, with a bit of meatiness that is almost but not quite unlike corned beef, and the sauerkraut overtones come through, though they remain a sidebar to the main corned-beef-ish taste. It is remarkably odd how close these come to tasting like an actual Reuben, but they miss the mark just enough for one to go "Yep, that's a fakey flavor alright." 

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 smiley face. They are certainly better than I expected, and I think they taste pretty good. They taste a lot like what I expected "fakey Reuban flavoring" to taste like, but they miss out on some of the flavor contrasts that make a Reuben sandwich a classic. Definitely worth trying, and some people will absolutely adore these. Me? I wouldn't turn them down. 

Kotas Reviews Lay's West Coast Truffle Fries Chips

So, last year, Lay's had a promotion where "America" (or at least, anyone who logged into this website) got to vote on what new flavor would become part of their regular rotation. I reviewed their Cappuccino Chips at the time, though that did not end up being the winner (that honor goes to Wasabi Ginger). Seems like Lay's is at it again! This time I will try to obtain and eat all the different flavors, so today's entry is the West Coast Truffle Fries Chips.

So, what the hell are Truffle Fries anyway?

So, a casual Internet search reveals that Truffle Fries are simply steak fries with Parmesan cheese, parsley, and truffle oil thrown on them. Actually, that sounds pretty good, but I can't seem to find a place that serves them in my town (clearly a West Coast Conspiracy). Still, I do love potato chips, and I have a fondness for the Wavy ones from Lays. Let's see how these babies look!

Look at all that...uh...well, they do resemble flavored chips.

These chips look a LOT like a sour cream and chive flavored chip, and their aroma is definitely different, with and earthy, mushroomy scent. I suppose that is the truffle oil component of the flavor coming through. Still, they didn't much look like they had any cheese flavoring on them. Let's take a closer look!

Yep. Green specks. EXCITEMENT!

Still nothing that screams "Truffle fries" or anything resembling the packaging, which I kind of like. But, who cares about packaging (besides me, of course), how do they taste? In short, they taste a lot like more mellow sour cream and onion chips. They are actually pretty good, because I normally find sour cream and onion chips from Lay's to be a bit too strong, and the earthy components nicely offset that while allowing some of the potato flavor to shine through. But I do not taste any Parmesan cheese, nor much of any truffle flavor beyond "earthiness". They are pretty good, but nothing particularly special.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 0 Faces. They are not bad, and since they cost the same as regular old chips, give them a whirl. I wouldn't turn them down at a party or anything. They simply did not wow me, nor did they stand out much from other, better Sour Cream and Onion flavors (though they are certainly better than the Lay's version). I mean, good try, but why are these called "West Coast Truffle Fries"? I would call them "Sour Cream and Onion XP" or something.

Kotas Reviews Lay's Cappuccino Potato Chips

Occasionally, I take it upon myself to do the family grocery shopping. Usually this is a nuanced affair full of conscious decisions to not eat like a college freshman on a budget, but occasionally I make my way into those shrines to consumption we name as Supermarkets while I am hungry. The results are never pretty. Today's subject is a result of one such trip into the maw of the unknown. BEHOLD!

ONLY DOOM WOULD DARE SUP UPON SUCH MAGNIFICENCE!

It turns out, Lay's is currently running a promotion called Do Us A Flavor, where you can cast your "vote" for one of four different entries: Bacon Mac & Cheese, Mango Salsa, Wasabi & Ginger, and today's experiment: Cappuccino. Now, I don't know about you, dear readers, but when I think Lay's Potato Chips, the very last thing that comes to mind is "These are great! If only they came in a coffee drink flavor!". Still, I wouldn't do to disappoint Mr. Chad Scott and pooh-pooh his creation without actually tasting them, right? RIGHT. Let's see what these bad boys look like.

Truly, truly, truly outrageous

Upon opening the bag, you are immediately hit with a scent that can only be termed "artificial cappuccino flavoring". It actually smells pretty good, but there is something off about it. Probably one too many chemicals in ye flask, if you catch my drift. The chips look exactly like what you would expect cappuccino flavored potato chips to look like, and they would probably look even better drizzled with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. Could this be a bold new entry into the realm of dessert potato chips? I'm going to go with "maybe, but probably not".

The most important thing to get right in any oddball food pairing is to make sure the flavors either complement each other, or offer a pleasant contrast. I'm pretty sure that was NOT the thought process used here. These chips have a very strong coffee and cream flavoring when you eat them. This aspect is actually pretty decent, and reminds me somewhat of tiramisu. The other flavor that they have is a solid potato flavor. They are a lot less greasy than regular old Lay's, so the potato flavor comes through loud and clear. 

How does it pair with the coffee and cream? Awkwardly, at best. I love me some coffee, and I love me some potato, but when paired in a glorious monument to Man's Hubris such as this, they merely serve to confuse and frighten a simple man like myself. I will say that the experience did not leave me feeling they were bad, so much as very weird. The idea itself has merit, and I think if the underlying chip was a sweet potato one, or if the flavoring had a bit more sugar in it, that this could be very interesting. 

On the FACE Rating System, I give this one 0 Faces. I didn't hate them, but I didn't particularly like them either. Mostly, I was left feeling confused, which is not what I'm looking for in a flavored potato snack. Bravo for trying something different though!