Kotas Reviews Tullamore Dew Caribbean Rum Cask Finish

Ah, St. Patrick's Day. A beloved holiday originally invented as a way to celebrate the persecution of druids in Ireland that has since morphed into yet another excuse for people to imbibe too much booze. Man that got dark quick. Anycrap, let's talk whiskey! As long time readers of my blog are aware, I only discovered my enjoyment of whiskey after the start of the current rye boom. Bourbon, rye, and the finest of scotch I've covered, but I never really tasted much Irish whiskey until recently. So, let's see how my latest find does. Lads and Lassies, wee tots of 21 years or older, let's ease our throat with the real old mountain dew, Tullamore Dew Caribbean Rum Cask Finish.

Top o' the mornin' to ya!

Since I'm a heathen drinker at heart, I tend to buy booze on either recommendation from friends, or by "feel". By which I mean "does the bottle look cool, and is the price right"? So when I popped into my local liquor store to get ready for St. Patrick's Day, I saw this stuff sitting by the counter, on sale. Oh hey, that's a good price for a bottle of booze at $23! So I grabbed it and took it home, not realizing that a) it was a pretty new product and b) different from standard Tullamore Dew. The brand is currently owned by William Grant & Sons, which is (wait for it) a Scottish company more known for their Scotch. Still, they own a distillery in Tullamore, and source other components from other Irish distilleries. Hooray? Let's crack it open.

The perfect drink to get you going in the morning.

Well, it's whiskey alright, but this one was aged in barrels that originally held rum. If you don't think that makes a difference, well, let me be the first to say that you are incorrect. The nose of this is definitely whiskey, but it has some of the same sweet vanilla hints as rum, along with a bright wheat scent. Not knowing much about Irish whiskey, I can only really compare it to bourbon and rye. Clean, is how I would describe it. It does not stay on the palette, and it has no spiciness like most rye has. The rum top flavor is there, but it takes a back seat to the whiskey flavoring. I can't say how it compares to regular Tullamore Dew, but you know, I like it. 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 2 Smiley Faces. It's got a bit of rumness to it, which I like, and it doesn't linger. If I had to impart an emotion to this drink, it would be "cheerful". The price is also really good, at less than $30 (at least as of the time of this writing). The liquor shop employee also raved about my excellent choice in booze, and I can't say he was wrong. If you need to Irish up your coffee (or jam jar, in my case) this fits the bill and adds a touch of uniqueness with the rum flavors. Give it a whirl! 

Kotas Reviews Zima

Sweet lord the Nostalgia train is a rolling hard lately in Soda Country. Coca-Cola brought back my beloved Surge (albeit only in gas stations), while Pepsi, wanting to outdo even that effort brings us Crystal Pepsi (also in gas stations...and on my list as soon as I can find it). So I guess MillerCoors wanted to get in on that sweet, sweet action and that brings us to our subject today. Ladies, Gentlemen, Kids get the fuck out of here, let's take a peak at Zima!

You magnificent BASTARD!

Yes, before that delicious plague of the beer aisle at grocery stores known as the "clear malternative beverage" assailed us in the early 2000s, with such "masterpieces" as Bacardi Silver and Smirnoff Ice, there was the granddaddy of them all, Zima. Marketed with the slogan "Zomething different" this clear boozy soda-ish "not-beer" was marketed as hip, cool, suave, and interesting. You know, like a hipster before that was a thing. You probably wouldn't know about it. Anyway, it quickly got a reputation as a "girl booze", mostly because it tasted pretty sweet and lo and behold, women drank more of it than other beers of the day. Still, for such a maligned product, it persisted until 2008, when MillerCoors discontinued it. So, why is it back, in the original bottle styling no less? I'm gonna go with "nostalgia is a powerful drug son" and move on to the resurrected product itself.

I was too young to partake of Zima when it was first released waaaaaay back in 1993, but I remember the commercials featured a guy in a white suit talking with another dude and...honestly it just being kind of strange. Definitely different, and the guy kept replacing his "s" characters with "z" ones. By the time I was old enough to consume them (and yes, they were still around at that point) I didn't bother since it had was already as uncool as bell bottoms and brightly colored leggings. Since I'm older and yes, touched by the nostalgia bug, I saw this in the store and thought "Yes, I simply MUST have this". So here we are. Let's crack it open!

Well, it's definitely clear. It looks, and smells, like boozed up Sprite. It tastes a lot like it too, with a nice citrus-y sour note so it's not super sweet, but interesting. I will say this, it certainly tasted better than I expected it to, and I happily drank a six pack's worth (with a bit of help). To be fair, I loved Bacardi Silver back in the day and this reminds me of a tangier version of that (original flavor, not the weird faux fruit versions that exist today). Who knew, right?

On the FACE Rating System, this gets TWO nostalgic Smiley Faces. While it definitely doesn't rank up there as a go to malt beverage, it's a nice change of pace when I'm feeling more in the mood for a soda, but don't want to have liquor with a mixer. Go out and get hammered 90s style, you probably won't regret it! Probably.

Kotas Reviews Scotch in a Can

Summer is a time for hanging out on the porch, sitting around with your friends, and may partaking of the occasional adult beverage to wash your cares away. But sometimes you want something a little fancy, but not TOO fancy if you know what I mean. Sitting on the porch with people in flip flops doesn't exactly say "sophisticated drinker". So, what do you do if you'd love some, say, Bowmore 25, but just aren't classy enough? Well, have I got a beverage for you. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present to you Scottish Spirits Single Grain 3 Year Scotch Whiskey...

IN A CAN!

Yes, this is a real thing and does exist. It was Memorial Day when I brought this out to liven up an already spirited porch discussion of board games. The more savvy drinkers were, ahem, somewhat aghast at the very existence of such a thing, but this ain't my first time drinking booze from a can. Naturally, it was decided collectively that the only way to truly experience this was in the form of shots. So yeah, it's Scotch in a Can, and the label is...well, fine, I guess. I mean, at least it doesn't say Victory Scotch on it, right? Oh, and it has a little rubberish cap cover so you can "save" any leftover scotch in the can without having to try and transfer it to a flask, decanter, or the sink drain. Neat, eh? Let's drink up!

In the Harvard shot glass, because I'm fucking classy.

You know, I was actually pleasantly surprised by this Scotch. For one thing, it did not taste like turpentine, or distilled sadness. For another, while I wouldn't call it good, it was very distinctly Not Bad. At $6 can, or roughly 10 shots, I wasn't expecting much, but I certainly wasn't expecting it to be drinkable, let alone "not bad". I'm sure a real Scotch aficionado would have terrible things to say about it, but it was relatively smooth, and the flavor was okay. This is way better than I was expecting, and several at my table shared that opinion. To be fair though, we'd already had a few rounds by this point, so your mileage may vary.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 1 Smiley Face. It was way better than I expected, and certainly has enough novelty factor for me to bring a can or two to outings so I can force encourage others to join me in this particular brand of dumpster drink diving. It will NOT however open you up to the wide wondrous world of Scotch Tasting. It does not really pretend to be more than it is, and for that, it has my respect. Give it a whirl!

Kotas Reviews Ole Smoky Pumpkin Pie Moonshine

There comes a time in every person's life when the world seems dimmer than usual. When the cold seeps farther into the bones than you once thought it did. When the howling of uncounted centuries seems to ring in your ears, as the last fading rays of sunlight vanish and you are left in the empty, quiet darkness of your own making. Also, you wanna get shitfaced like a boss, so you turn to the only solace available from a mason jar: Moonshine! Ladies and Gentlemen, let's drink some 'shine! Pumpkin Pie Moonshine!

Existential Despair Not Included

Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. This stuff is 40 proof, which is, in the words of Albert Einstein, "pretty fuckin' weak". Most liquor starts at 80 proof and then moves on up the scale from there, though some flavored rums and vodkas come in at 70 or even 60 proof. Still, you can do a couple of shots of this and NOT fall on your ass immediately, so that's a plus! I must admit that pumpkin pie is an odd choice of flavoring for any drink, let alone MOONSHINE, but hey, who am I to judge? 

Ole Smoky was the first licensed distillery in East Tennessee, once Tennessee state law was altered to allow distillation of moonshine. It comes in a mason jar, and while the original White Lightning is a rockin' 100 proof, the various flavors range from 100 all the way down to 40 proof, like today's example. I admit I don't have a lot of experience with moonshine, and this is my first taste of it. Good times, eh? Let's see it!

Because a shot is the only real way to go here.

It smells like a Yankee Candle Truck hit a liquor store, very fake pumpkin and wax overtones. I almost feel like I should be putting this in a potpourri bowl instead of getting ready to drink it. The color is exactly what I would expect though. This stuff tastes exactly like it smells, plasticy and cloying, like I imagine the liquid you would add to a scented candle to give it the pumpkin scent would taste like. It is not undrinkable, but it certainly isn't good. 

On the Face Rating System, this gets 2 frowny faces. Not only does it taste terrible, it won't even get you drunk fast so you'd have to taste a LOT of it before you stopped caring. If you took all the hatred of pumpkins some people had, concentrated it into liquid form, and then added booze, you might get something that resembles this. Definitely not recommended, but if you are feeling very brave and don't have to pay for it, you might have a sip. Or you might get some actual real booze to drink instead of this garbage.

Kotas Reviews George Dickel Rye

I've been reviewing a lot of Pumpkin Spice things as of late, and to be frank, it's getting kind of old hat. Still, it is Fall and I should do something Fall-ish...maybe. Well, it is the harvest season, and that means lots of grain has to be stored. What is the most efficient way to store grain for transport? Booze, of course! Today we review George Dickel Rye.

The American Classic!

I know it is trendy,but I like rye quite a bit. It was the first whisky I'd had that I actually liked, though to be fair to whisky I hadn't much exposure past Jack Daniels or Col. Kwik-E-Mart's Kentucky Bourbon. Still, I have very much enjoyed my time with rye, and it's perfect weather for a glass to take off the chill. Anyway, the George Dickel Rye I have here is a 95% rye mash, which is pretty high. Hrm, that reminds me of Bulleit Rye, which was also 95% rye. Odd, isn't it? Well, not really. You see, both of these ryes are basically the same rye out of Midwest Grain Products (formerly Lawrenceburg Distillers Indiana). Bulleit simply bottles it as is, while George Dickel here subjects it to their charcoal filter process that they use on their normal whisky.

Distilled in Lawrenceburg, Bottled by George Dickel. Kudos for honesty on the label!

The reason I bring this up is that there has been some controversy in the whisky world about a number of American brands not disclosing that the whiskey inside the bottle was simply purchased in bulk, blended, and bottled, rather than being distilled by the company on the label. Dickel has chosen not to hide anything. There's a good article on the topic over at The Whiskey Jug if you want to know more. What does all this mean to you, the drinker? Very little, since whisky blends are a perfectly fine thing to drink, though I personally feel that "not being lied to" by a company is a good thing. So, kudos to Dickel for that. Now, onto the drink itself!

In the traditional tumbler that is not at all a used jam jar.

I tried it neat first, because yes. This rye is a definite contrast to other ryes I've drunk. While it still has that characteristic rye pepperiness, it is much smoother overall. It tickles the nose properly, but is just a nice clean drink. Definitely some fruitiness to the flavor that I greatly enjoyed, as well as some nice vanilla underflavors. Very different from the Bulleit Rye, though I like them both. I guess that charcoal filtering does something after all! I also tried it on the rocks, and it's pretty good that way too.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 3 smiley faces. I may have found a new "daily drinker" rye to throw into my rotation, and that makes me happy. I am most happy at the price. $22 for the bottle, and worth every penny. If you like whisky, and more importantly, if you like rye, you should give this a shot. It is not the finest rye you can buy, but it may be one of the best you can buy for under $25.

Kotas Reviews the Spike Your Juice Kit

Ah, milestones. Arbitrary markers used by those who wish to make themselves feel important with regards to frivolous tasks. That said, welcome to the 100th Post of Kotas Reviews Everything! I've covered a lot of different things in the past few years of reviewing, but today deserves something special. Something strange. Something related to booze. Today we review the Spike Your Juice Kit.

This is a real thing that exists.

The Spike Your Juice kit was a Christmas Stocking Stuffer that I only recently got around to trying out, and frankly, I'm surprised it took me this long. I mean, look at this box! Doesn't that just scream quality? It even proclaims itself to be "A European Favorite". Well, how could I resist? Let's see what's inside!

Literally the whole kit and caboodle.

You get an instruction card, six packets of brewer's yeast, an airlock and carbuoy bung, and six adhesive labels. This box cost about $14, but you could find better bargains at some online retailers. You might have noticed my use of the phrase "could". Well, we ordered ours direct from the manufacturer's website www.spikeyourjuice.com, which had an online storefront with all the polish of one from 1998. We didn't even get an email confirmation of our purchase, the package just showed up randomly one day long after we'd forgotten it was ordered. If you try that link now, you get a standard Go Daddy placeholder page. I'm pretty sure this company no longer exists. Our loss, I suppose. You can still get this kit at some online retailers, but supplies are definitely limited.

The idea with this getup is that you buy a 64 ounce bottle of fruit juice, preferably 100% juice with no sugar added, dump in a packet of yeast, stick the bung and airlock on top, fill with a bit of water, and then the magic happens. Well, it seems simple enough...

It mostly is.

Well, I managed to get it set up. A couple of missteps resulted in a bit of juice going up into the airlock during the placing of the bung, but it ultimately did not affect the results. This is the stuff after a couple of days, right before the first tasting. Next up is a few days more...

It bubbled considerably more than I was expecting. I'm not sure WHY my expectations were so low.

I let it ferment for about ten full days before I called it done. There were two official tastings, one after the two days suggested by the instructions, and one after the ten days. The first tasting was not particularly enlightening really. It mostly tasted like grape juice but it had a bit of an alcohol undertone. It wasn't very strong and mostly it tasted like the juice was just a little off. Not bad, but not plain juice. The reason I stopped at ten days is mostly because it stopped fizzing, so I guessed the sugar was finally used up.

After ten days. Why yes, that is a jam jar. We're freakin' classy around here.

The flavor of this beverage could be classified as "dry". It is distinctly wine-ish in character, with a nose of "Welch's Grape Juice" and not so sturdy legs. It was not, however, terrible. At best, I would call it "table wine drinkable". Frankly, this surprised me given that my plan of attack was "dump in yeast, hope". I actually liked it after a fashion, though it is not really all that good. There is something about drinking booze that you made that eases over any complaints about quality. It is definitely in the "$5 for a gallon" wine category, but it is drinkable and I was willing to share it with non-family. 

One the FACE Rating System, the Spike Your Juice kit gets 1 smiley face. Sure, it's a jazzed up package of stuff you can get for half the price individually, but it was fun in a "kids craft project' kind of way and actually got me interested in home brewing, even if it is just in a dabbler's kind of way. Plus, the Amazon reviews of this product reveal that there is a small community of "home juice brewers" who, while not as technical as true home brewers, are dedicated to their very minor craft. Give it a whirl, if you can, if only to say that you made your own wine. 

Kotas Reviews Southern Comfort

Ah, the New Year is here! You know what that means, finishing up all the crap you put off until the New Year! With that in mind, let's take a look at something I consumed in 2014, but didn't get around to writing about until now: Southern Comfort.

These seems neither Southern nor comforting.

I've already reviewed their entry into the eggnog realm, and that inspired me to check out the actual booze. Southern Comfort is a fruit and spice (with whiskey flavoring) liqueur originally born out of New Orleans' French Quarter by bartender Martin Wilkes Heron but now owned by a giant corporation. It comes in numerous proofings (100, 70, and 42) and versions (Special Reserve, Lime, Bold Black Cherry), but our specimen is the 70 proof original version. I most remember it from a taste long ago and those annoying "SoCo and Cran" commercials from years back. What I remember is that it is sweet. Let's see how she looks in a glass.

Yes, that is a Harvard Shot Glass. Classin' it up here at KRE!

Well, it looks...brown. This is not at all a surprise, actually. The scent is very sweet with fruit overtones and a bit of whiskey in there as well. The taste? Sweet. Super Sweet. Sickly Sweet. It is very fruity and it has some spice, but mostly what I taste is too much sweetness. It's not awful, but it is overwhelming and changes the focus of the drink from the fruit, spices, and whiskey to the sugar. This is not a good thing at all. Sweetness should accentuate other flavors, not sideline them. A little ice helped, but it was still very sweet.

Not to be deterred, I dumped it into some leftover eggnog (no, not the namesake brand). Lo and behold, it was good. Really good. I won't call it a perfect matching, but the eggnog and booze melded together very nicely and it was a fruity, spicy, boozy eggnog that was delicious. I was honestly surprised, given I was mixing sweet with sweet but gosh darn it, it worked.

On the FACE Rating System, I give Southern Comfort 1 smiley face. The flavor is nice enough if you can cut the overwhelming sweetness back, and it mixes very well (with eggnog at least), but it's not a sippin' liquor by any stretch. Unless maybe you are Willy Wonka.

Kotas Reviews The Club Gin Martini

Having recently acquired a nifty fold out bar as a combination Father's Day/Birthday present, I realized over the holiday weekend that it needed stocking pretty badly. With this in mind, I wandered over to my Friendly Neighborhood Liquor Merchant and spent far too much money on booze. While in the checkout lane, the "barrel of mini-samples" caught my eye. A small canned product, retailing for the low, low price of $0.99 and promising the delights of the cocktail known as the martini within. Did I dare?

ONLY DOOM WOULD DARE!

Ain't she a beaut? Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Club...Gin Martini. The labeling helpfully informs us that "The Gin is In It!", which I suppose would be fine if the label RIGHT ABOVE it didn't say "Made with Extra Dry Gin and Vermouth". I guess it is hard to convince people to consume spirits from a can. There was also a vodka martini version available, but I choose not to sink to that level. You see, it should never have to be called a gin martini. A martini is, BY DEFINITION, to be made with gin and some amount of vermouth, and thus the moniker of "gin martini" is redundant. But you didn't come here to listen to me rant about cocktail naming conventions, now did you? Let's crack this sucker open and see what we get. 

Only the majesty of this souvenir cocktail glass from my first cruise is enough to contain the glory.

Well, it's...clear. That's something right? Well, mostly clear. Vermouth generally adds a bit of tint to the otherwise colorless spirit that is gin, and this is no exception. The tiny bubbles are from the act of pouring it out of the can...I hope. It smells like cheap gin and sour vermouth, to be honest, though the scent isn't very strong. But how does it taste? Let's find out!

The first sip is full of horror and woe, though it does not quite reach the level of "canned despair". The gin is clearly not top shelf stuff, but it is the really sour taste of the horrible vermouth that sets it apart as being truly terrible. It isn't so much a flavor as some sort of military campaign against your taste buds with a side trek into your nostrils just to make sure you KNOW it's bad. I believe I actually winced when I sipped this. I'll give it this though, it's pretty potent in getting one intoxicated. So much so that about half way through I almost started to...well, not enjoy it, but "tolerate it better". It is drinkable, as in it is not quite turpentine in taste and aroma, but it's really not good at all. 

On the FACE Rating System I would give this drink 2 Frowny Faces. It is pretty bad, but I don't know what I was expecting for $1. The concept of the canned cocktail is not a new one, but I think it can be done far better than this atrocity. Try it if you want to, but it is totally not recommended, unless you want to get rip roaring drunk for $3 or so. Even then, I might consider other alternatives.

Kotas Reviews Bulleit Rye Whiskey

Most of you are aware of my drinking habits. I enjoy rum and gin, vodka and tequila are best in mixed drinks, and I stay the heck away from whisk(e)y/bourbon/scotch. However, in the past few months, on a whim, I sampled some of that "old is new again" rye whiskey that's been making a comeback.

And you know what? I LIKED it. It tasted a lot like whiskey I'd had in the past, but something smoothed out all the rough flavors that I could not stand and made it not only drinkable, but GOOD. And without having to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a "good" bottle to make it drinkable.

This is my review of Bulleit Rye Whiskey. It's pretty subjective, but hey aren't all my reviews? SHUT UP I AM OBJECTIVE. Anyway, onto the review.

I've always liked Bulleit Whiskey's bottles. They have the name of the company as a part of the bottle and I always liked the "old timey" feel that gave them. Their Rye is in the same bottle, but with a green label rather than their usual dusky orange. The label claims it is a "95% rye", which I assume means that the majority of the grain used to distill it is rye (their standard bourbon uses rye as well, at least according to the website: http://www.bulleitbourbon.com/)

Pop the cork and pour it out, it's a lovely dark amber color, so it's pretty in the glass. The smell is very...spicy, with a strong woody odor mixed in with hints of molasses and cinnamon. I tried it neat, because a) I didn't have any ice and b) NO FREAKIN' ICE.

The taste is also sharp, with a heavy peppery note, along with an oaky, not quite smokey top flavor that has a very out of place but interesting vanilla suggestion. Some might call the flavor "leathery", but I do not think that I would. The burn starts off strong and tapers off very quickly.

On a scale of 5 frowny faces to 5 smiley faces, I give it 3 smiley faces. Finding a whiskey that I not only like, but really, really like is a treat, though I find it hilarious that the one I like is now super trendy. I suggest giving Rye a whirl, even if whiskey isn't your thing.

Kotas Reviews Michelob Ultra Light Cider

So, it turns out that the Michelob company now makes a cider under their Ultra line called, surprisingly enough, Michelob Ultra Light Cider. Why is it Light you ask? Well, it uses Stevia as a sweetenerr and runs about 120 calories a bottle, which is apparently 60 calories less than usual. Who knew, right?

While grocery shopping, we found it at our local Wal-Mart (hey, don't judge) and decided to give it a whirl. Charlotte and I both enjoy a good hard apple cider now and again, and it is almost a perfect summertime beverage. And at $6.29 for a six pack, it was the cheapest cider available.

Most hard apple ciders are a nice golden yellow, and smell strongly of apples. This was decidedly paler, with a much fainter aroma of apples and something else that I took to be the Stevia. Charlotte turns to me and says "Hey, if this sucks, you'll drink the rest of it, right?" I assured her I would make it vanish if it was not to her tastes. We both cracked open a bottle and took a drink. It is almost, but not quite entirely unlike any other cider I've tasted. It is simultaneously too sweet and not sweet enough, and the flavor is what I would describe as "faint". It's not BAD per se, but it is very mild and the aftertaste it leaves is exceedingly chemically, though it is possible I'm just sensitive to Stevia. It tastes like someone once had a cider "a while back" and tried to make a version of it with whatever was on hand, rather than finding an actual recipe. What you get is something that is technically hard cider, but otherwise NOT apple cider.

I will probably be finishing the six pack, but I don't think I can recommend drinking this. It might be worth trying, if you are a cider fan, but if possible just get ONE because you will probably be disappointed. I suppose I'm sort of sad to see that the first foray into hard ciders (as far as I know) by the "big domestic brands" is so very lackluster. It's too sweet for beer lovers, and not sweet enough for alco-pop drinkers and cider drinkers. I give it 1 frowny face on a scale of 5 frowny faces to 5 smiley faces.