Kotas Reviews Lowrey's Bacon Curls MIcrowave Pork Rinds

Ugh, I'm still recovering from my month long birthday and office move hangover, and thus I haven't reviewed anything in weeks. That's okay though, I knew it was gonna be a tough month. Of course, when I'm hung over there are few things more comforting and less healthy for you than gas station pork rinds, am I right? But how can I get that feeling without even leaving home? Ladies and Gentlemen, today we review Lowrey's Bacon Curls Microwave Pork Rinds

You know damn right!

Not gonna lie, I actually really like pork rinds. They are basically bacon chips and my favorite flavor is barbecue, but I ain't that picky. They are also (relatively) low in calories, though all of those calories are fat. They have a bad rep in foodie circles, but I still like them occasionally. Still, I've certainly never said to myself "You know, these are great, but wouldn't they be better if I prepared them at home?" So it came as quite the surprise when a giant fuckin' box appeared on my doorstep shortly after my birthday and had THESE inside! 

I can honestly say that it never even occurred to me that such a thing could exist, let alone be sold in a giant multi-pack like these. Lowrey's is a sub-brand of the Oberto Beef Jerky folk, and they have been around since at least 2009, according to one taste test I found online after a quick search. Who knew, right? Anyway, the instructions are basically "Put it in the microwave for around a minute, stopping it when the bag finishes expanding." Naturally, I did exactly that. It has a disturbing sizzle during the cooking process and the bag does inflate. The odor of cooking isn't "fish in the microwave" bad, but it's not amazing either. Let's rip it open!

Yup, those are pork rinds

 Straight from the bag, these are most definitely pork rinds. The vast majority were nice and warm and airy, though a few were denser, and a couple which I figure are the pork rind equivalent of unpopped kernels of popcorn were small, dense, and mostly inedible. The taste is that of a pork rind, vaguely bacony pork flavor, with a nice hot spice applied to it and some vaguely Cajun-esque spices to go with the heat. They ain't bad, is what I'm saying. Still, for such a weird product they are essentially just pork rinds and not particularly fine ones at that. Tasty, but nothing special.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 1 Smiley Face. The novelty of their preparation falls away quickly, leaving them to stand on their mostly average flavor. If you like pork rinds in general, you will probably like these, but unless novel cooking methods fascinate you, you can safely skip these. I will finish the box though!