Ah, Summer. A time when cool refreshing beverages are the weapon of choice to combat dehydration and soul crushing grind of yard work. Now, we in the good old U.S. of A. love our sugary sodas and other completely unnecessarily calorie laden drinks, but sometimes ya gotta see how the rest of the world lives. Ladies and gentleman, let's take a look at...Kola.
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| It must be good, it says so on the can! |
Well, that's a very colorful can. This particular edition hails from...I have no idea, but it is popular in Puerto Rico and Jamaica, so that would explain the little palm tree icon. The artwork is very much on the kitsch side of the equation, in stark contrast to the mostly "single color with details" themes that most domestic soda brands sport. Also, the sugar. This little 12 ouncer packs 250 calories into it. Contrast that with Coca-Cola, which clocks in at 130 for 12 ounces, and I think my pancreas is trying to escape my abdomen in fear. Let's crack it open!
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| Beware the Jabberwock my son. Or maybe just this soda. |
Well, it looks like a soda, but it smells like a Bubble Yum factory exploded next to a cotton candy storage warehouse. Ye gods this is sickly sweet smelling, and the taste...my goodness the taste is like eating 15 pieces of Hubba Bubba that have been melted down in a spoon over a Zippo flame. It is syrupy and cloying, overwhelmingly bubblegum-esque and nauseatingly sugary. Once your tongue numbs out to some of the sweetness it becomes sorta drinkable, but it is gag worthy on that initial hit, and the lingering aftertaste has you belching up Bubble Tape essence all day.
On the FACE Rating System, this rates at 3 frowny faces. It is just simply awful, and even if you LIKE bubblegum flavoring, this is far, FAR too much. Stay away, unless you are the type of person who has to drink the Beverly at the Coke Museum "because". Sadly, I am one of those people. Let my suffering serve as a warning to others.
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