Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Kotas Reviews Flamin' Hot Dill Pickle Remix Lay's

This job hobby glorious sideshow that I call a blog has brought me to lots of strange places over the years. From float tanks to plays about abstract art, my desire for tens of fans has presented me with numerous unusual situations. Though, if I'm honest, most of those experiences have been in the grocery store picking out weird ass food flavors. Today is not going to be an exception, and hoo boy, the folks down at Lay's are really smokin' up lately. Ladies and Gentleman, today we dig into Flamin' Hot Dill Pickle Remix Lay's.

What is even happening now?
Man, this bag looks like the late 80s exploded all over it. Hot neon pink highlights, ridiculous font choices that vary between words, use of the word "remix" in a non-musical context, this packaging has it all. It even has accurate pictures of both the flavor items AND the final product! Rad I tell you! Now, if you are a regular reader of this blog, as I know both of you are, you will know that when it comes to spicy snacks, I want more than just heat. There has to be flavor too. The "Flamin' Hot" sub-brand is very hit or miss when it comes to these, but the addition of dill pickle seems...very strange. It's not like Dill Pickle is a flavor that most people want to eat. I mean, I do, but I a damn Internet Weirdo so I don't think I am representative of most people. Still, they keep makin' 'em so someone's gotta be eatin' 'em. I must admit I am dubious of the validity of this flavor combination, but here we are. Let's eat.

Flavor Dust Storms are a real problem on Planet Novelty
Yeah, the chips are just reddish, as is expected from something labeled "Flamin' Hot". It is however not quite as red I as I would expect. The scent is heavy on the dill and 'spice' notes, that sends little burning sensations up the nostrils. I'm sure it's fine. They taste like Dill Pickle chips with a lot of heat added to them. The combination works surprisingly well really. The dill pickle flavor is strong but not overwhelming and the spice is heavy but does not subsume the dill pickle. The potato flavor is there too, though much muted compared to the other two strong flavors. I wouldn't have thought that "spicy dill pickle" would be a chip flavor I would enjoy but once again Food Science has humbled me.

On the FACE Rating System, these get 2 Smiley Faces. They aren't amazingly good, but they are a fine chip to have when you want something spicy and savory. The dill pickle/heat combo is excellent, but it isn't something I would want to eat all the time. If you like dill pickle chips and spicy snacks, treat yourself to these before they are out of stores. However if you dislike either of those, this combination will only have you sad and burning.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Kotas Reviews Captain Marvel

Well, it's been a loooong time since I've written about Marvel Movies, hasn't it? To be fair, it's been a long time since I've seen a Marvel Movie when it was actually relevant to the current popular cultural scene. Still, I had to make some time for this one, for reasons that will probably become clear soon enough. Ladies and Gentlemen, children of some ages, let's take a look at Disney's Captain Marvel.


Buy the trade now on Amazon!
Even by Comic Book standards, the history of Captain Marvel is convoluted as hell, even if we keep that history focused solely on Carol Danvers. The original Captain Marvel, the Kree agent turned Protector of the Universe Mar-Vell, was long gone by the time I got sucked into comics as a wee lad. I grew up on the Monica Rambeau version a.k.a. Photon a.k.a. Spectrum. Still, the legacy of Mar-Vell touched a large part of the Marvel Cosmic Mythology and was a direct influence on my personal favorite cosmic hero, Quasar. Who also has a convoluted backstory and weird history for a dude who started off as a Take That version of Hal Jordan. No less than seven different characters have held the title of Captain Marvel, and at least two of them have also been Quasar at one point or another. Carol herself has had 3 previous superhero identities before taking on the mantle of Captain Marvel in the comics: Ms. Marvel, Binary, and Warbird. Her powers have been granted, taken away, super charged, altered entirely, and then melded together. Why, it's almost like comic books are weird! So, knowing all of that weirdness, how can a movie possibly try and reconcile all of that? In short, it doesn't, and that's a good thing. There will be a few spoilers below, so skip to the final paragraph for the FACE Rating and my overall thoughts.

The choice to start with Vers on Hala and then slowly introduce the bits and pieces that eventually make up Carol Danvers ends up being a great storytelling device, but it sure seems a bit disjointed at the beginning. Luckily, once the action shifts to Earth, the character development and chemistry between all the primary cast members really gels, particularly when the movie becomes a buddy cop film between Samuel Jackson's Nick Fury and Brie Larson's Vers. Those two bring a wonderful dynamic to the film that is absolutely a delight to watch. Larson has good chemistry with Lashana Lynch as Maria Rambeau too, which really helps sell some of the more interesting character moments. Larson's confident, no bullshit attitude when it comes to fighting the bad guys is also great, as is the sheer joy she takes in her powers. They aren't a curse, they are a gift and there is little angst to be found about it as she whoops and hollers her way through a bunch of battle cruisers in the climatic space battle. The trademark Marvel comedy is here in spades, and everyone gets in on the act. There is also a cat named Goose and a Fonz lunchbox that both serve similar purposes in the film at one point or another.

As a complete Marvel Nerd, I deeply appreciated all the nods at the many other Captain Marvels in comic history that showed up in this film. The Kree uniform she starts out in is a tribute to the original comic suit of Mar-Vell, Maria Rambeau's pilot handle of "Photon", as well as the fact that her daughter's name is Monica, are both tributes to the Monica Rambeau incarnation. During a sequence where Carol and Monica are updating the look of her costume, several of the rejected outfits reference the other Marvel er, Marvels, and there's even a blink and you'll miss it bit of shade thrown at DC's Captain Marvel/Shazam, as the costume takes on his traditional colors and it is rejected with a "...Naaaaaah". I acknowledge my deep nerdiness here, so just bear with me. Oh, and the CGI that made "Young" Nick Fury is top notch. The CGI on Goose...less so.

Unfortunately there are some parts of this film that do not work super well. As I stated before, the opening is a bit disjointed in the storytelling. The antagonists are the blandest of the bland, such that none of them stand out too much. Talos and Yon-Rogg are about the only aliens of interest on any side, and even they tend to be fairly generic as they toss the Villain Ball back and forth a few times. The Supreme Intelligence is made of dull and is just super meh in my opinion. Mar-Vell, for all five minutes she's in the film, is great but super under utilized. The origin of Danvers' powers makes the Tesseract/Space Stone the Infinity Stone with the most possible users and people affected by it. It really gets around, don't it? 

On the FACE Rating System, I give Captain Marvel 3 Smiley Faces. I love cosmic Marvel stuff and this movie is right up my damn alley, however it definitely follows a formula and has its flaws. When you have villains like the Vulture and Killmonger being so damn interesting, only to follow those up with some bog standard boring ones, it's a little bit of a let down, but the character bits between the good guys more than make up for that. Other people will probably rate this movie lower than I will, but I acknowledge my Carol Danvers bias. Go out and see it!