Kotas Reviews the Book of Mormon

Every now and again, I review something that's not food. Maybe I've gotten out to see a movie, or purchased a video game, or what have you. Sometimes on those occasions, my spouse accompanies me. This weekend was no exception, though I don't know if either of us was prepared for the onslaught we endured. That's what spur of the moment will get ya, after all. Ladies and Gentlemen, today we review The Book of Mormon...the play, not the actual Book.

Oh man, where to begin. This is a musical written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, of South Park fame, and Robert Lopez, composer of Avenue Q, Coco and Frozen fame. Just looking at that, you should know what you are getting into. Trey and Matt have already shown off their musical chops in previous outings such as Cannibal: The Musical and South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Lopez, of course, has plenty of bona fides in the catchy, well written music department. It's also run on Broadway since 2011, so it's gotta have something going for it, right? Anycrap, a chance to pick up a couple of tickets for a good price dropped in my lap and I took it, so I could give my long suffering spouse a nice present. She super loves musicals. Fair Warning: From here on out, there be spoilers. The last paragraph will be spoiler free if you just want the FACE Rating, so pop on down there if you want.

SPOOKY MORMON PLAY BILL!

The play starts off with what I would term an affectionate parody of the "door to door" mission work stereotypically undertaken by Mormon missionaries. It's very catchy, and has few harsh moments, unlike most of the songs in this particular production. It is mostly an introduction to our two, uh, male leads: Elder Kevin Price, the shining star of the Mission School and Elder Arnold Cunningham, the not shining star of the same. They have just finished their training and are to be assigned (via a catchy song) their mission partners and regions. Elder Price wants nothing more than to be sent to Orlando, Florida for his mission, and Elder Cunningham wants nothing more than to...well, be paired with another missionary. 

In that delightful coincidence that these sorts of stories have, Price and Cunningham are paired up and shipped off to Uganda, which is about as far away from Orlando, Florida as you can get. Things immediately go south when they arrive and have their luggage stolen by the local warlord, General Butt-Fucking Naked (named because when he kills people and drinks their blood, he does so "butt-fucking naked"). This character is also based on the real life General Butt Naked, which is horrifying. Anyway, they meet the locals, who teach them about their really shitty existence and sing a lovely song about the phrase that helps them get through their troubles, Hasa Diga Eebowei, which roughly translates as "Fuck you, God". You can see where this is going. 

The village head's daughter Nabulungi becomes enchanted by Price and Cunningham's stories of a better way and stories of a safe paradise, in this case, Salt Lake City or as she spells it "Sal Tlay Ka Siti" and convinces the rest of the village to listen, even after the General comes in and shoots a dude for saying "Hey, maybe you shouldn't cut off a woman's clitoris". Elder Price on the other hand, storms off in a fit of "holy fuck this place is awful" and tells Cunningham to slag off. Cunningham decides to take it upon himself to teach the villagers, even though he hasn't actually read the Book of Mormon.

After a "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream", which is one of the highlight musical numbers for the show in my opinion, Price returns to the mission to try and make another go at it. Cunningham has been playing super fast and loose with the teachings in an effort to help the Ugandan people, and to  maintain their interest in conversion. Price decides to go try and convert the General, so that the villagers will be safe. He gets the book of Mormon shoved up his rectum for his trouble. This causes him to lose faith, and drown his sorrows at the local coffee shop, which is a super hilarious to me detail. 

Nabulungi and the other villagers are baptized into the Mormon faith, after which a musical number about the complete cluelessness of the missionaries is sung named "I am Africa". It's not the best number and really pushes some less than good stereotypes, though it is heavily implied that it is the missionaries who are being complete idiots for believing this. So I guess it punches up?

The Mission President (praise Christ) shows up because of the record number of conversions has impressed everyone back home. To honor his visit, the villagers perform a play within a play that is the story of Joseph Smith, American Moses, as they were taught by the unreliable Elder Cunningham. This is one of the funniest moments in the play for me. The song is super catchy, unbelievably offensive, but so earnest and sincere. The actors do a great job here because despite the massive irreverence of the tales told, it upholds at its center a core philosophy of "Be Kind, Help Each Other, and Treat Others Equally". It is still a complete disaster as the Mission President hears about how Joseph Smith fucks a frog to cure his AIDS after the wizard Moroni from the Starship Enterprise tells him it is God's will...yeah, it's that kind of play within a play.

The Mission President storms off telling them they are "as far from Latter Day Saints as you can get", and everyone is super depressed. Nabulungi is heart broken since she found out the tales Elder Cunningham told weren't true. Elder Price however realizes that Cunningham really was trying to help people, and that even if the stories were made up, they gave people hope and helped them feel happy, and that is the most important thing. They go on to help the villagers drive off General Butt-Fucking Naked the next time he comes around (with vague threats of Jesus Torpedoes that will turn him into a Lesbian...just go with it at this point). The rest of the village tells Nabulungi that they always knew the stories were supposed to be metaphors for life ("Do you really think a man fucked a frog? That would be really fucking stupid."), and in an implied future, all the villagers and missionaries (and even General Butt-Fucking Naked has converted at this point) are using the "door to door" method to try and convert others to the "Book of Arnold".

The End! Spoilers end here!

Let me go ahead and say that no one comes off as looking particularly good in a lot of ways. Stereotypes fly fast and furious, there's clear notes of "white savior", "noble savage", and "Mormons have crazy beliefs". There's a heavy tinge of irony here, and much the same way "Sausage Party" mitigated some of its excesses with self awareness and positivity, so does the "Book of Mormon", but let's face facts. Just because you wink and nod at something terrible does not necessarily make it less terrible. Then again, the underlying messages of "be good to each other, help each other, and treat everyone equally" are actually really good morals, even if they are surrounded in a heap of...really amazingly hilarious offensive shit. It is offensively hilarious or hilariously offensive, but either way, I laughed until my face hurt.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets a solid two Smiley faces (in neat button down shirts, black slacks, and a neat black tie each). This is a spectacular show featuring several truly wonderful musical performances, a nice core moral, and a lot of completely offensive yet amazing jokes and gags. It both embraces stereotypes and subverts them, and the mix is somewhat disorienting, but it really has to be seen to be believed. Just be prepared for the onslaught of offense comedy. 

Kotas Reviews Spamalot

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of abandoning my child and stealing my wife away to actually go out on a date. We had tickets to a play, you see. What play was that? Why, the world renowned Broadway hit, SPAMALOT! Did it exceed my expectations? Was it a flaming bag of dog poo on the steps of my existence? Read on to find out! Also, there might be plot spoilers, but you knew that already.

As a child of the 90s, Monty Python and the Holy Grail was a staple of nerd quotations during high school and college. I have probably seen that movie about a dozen times and at one point my my life (admittedly a pretty awkward time in retrospect) I could practically rattle off the script from memory. This may explain a lot of things about me, but let's just assume I'm familiar with the source material. My biggest fear was that the play would just be "scenes from the movie, staged like a play". Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but that style of production would not bring anything really new to the table. So imagine my surprise when the first few bits were entirely nothing like the movie. The opening bits were of the head of the theater's, uh, head, projected in "Monty Python cartoon style" onto a screen to give the introduction. This was followed by a bit of narration from a "professor of English History". That's when the musical number about Finland started.

I believe at this point I turned to my wife and said "Okay, did I take drugs before we came here?" This would not be the last time I said this either. Turns out, the whole Finland opening was because the chorus misheard "England" as "Finland". So our story finally begins. and we get the scene with Arthur and the two guards discussing swallows and coconuts. You know what? It'll be easier to discuss the differences in the plot rather than go through the whole thing. First off, a number of scenes have been removed. Nothing about a witch, no Black Beast of Aaaaaaaaauuugggh, no Castle Anthrax, no Bridge of Death even. Secondly, a lot of scenes have been changed considerably. The French taunting scene is extended quite a bit, with a whole host of French stereotypes thrown in for good measure. Sir Robin and Sir Lancelot get back stories about their pre-knight days (as the dead cart driver and dead cart customer respectively), as does Sir Galahad who gets one of the entirely new scenes with a new character, the Lady of the Lake. Camelot is shown as a Vegas-style adult playground and has more than one musical number. Oh, there are MANY musical numbers. Some are awesome, like the heartfelt and ridiculous "Find your Grail". Some are incredibly meta-humorous jabs at musical theater, such as the multiple versions of "The Song That Goes Like This" which is about how there is always a song that "goes like this" in musicals. Some are, well, somewhat shocking, such as the song about how Lancelot is gay and the song about how you need Jews to do Broadway musicals...complete with full costumes and giant dreidel decorations. I was really taken aback by that one, though it reminded me a bit of Blazing Saddles style comedy.

The characterizations are pretty much the same as they were in the film, though Sir Bevedere gets a lot less screen stage presence. Lancelot turns out to be gay in this go around, and all Sir Robin really wants to do is be an entertainer. Sir Galahad is actually the peasant Dennis (of being oppressed fame) but doesn't have much to do after that part of the show. The Knights who Say Ni are given a bigger role, as they must be appeased with "a big Broadway musical". The Lady of the Lake is a main character rather than a part of a beloved joke, though the joke remains. Patsy gets a few more lines and some actual characterization (and one of the better jokes of the show). There is a lot of singing and dancing, with several elaborate musical numbers.

The whole show wraps up with a couple of weddings: Lancelot and Prince Hubert (the prince from that castle with the wedding that Lancelot crashes), and Arthur and The Lady of the Lake Guinevere. Why? Because all musicals have to end with weddings apparently.

On the FACE Rating System, I give Spamalot 2 smiley faces. It was an excellent adaptation of the movie, with enough things both fresh and familiar to please newcomers and old fans alike. The musical numbers were impressive, even if some of the jokes didn't quite hit the mark. If you get a chance, I highly recommend seeing it. Just makes sure you know where your towel is. Oh, wait, forget that last part. Wrong British Humorist.

Kotas Reviews RED

Went to a play last night called RED. It is a semi-fictional tale about the painter Mark Rothko (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Rothko) and an unnamed assistant who works with him for two years while Rothko is completing a collection of paintings intended to hang in the Four Seasons restaurant. Yes, this is a 90 minute play with two characters who discuss abstract expressionistic art. Some folks might suppose this was not up my alley. Some folks would be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

My father-in-law expressed the opinion that it was going to be nothing but pretentious garbage about what “art” is and the like. Let me tell you, the first two thirds of this play were exactly that. The assistant is introduced when he walks in for his first day, and is stopped at the doorway for a few seconds while Rothko observes his current work (http://artobserved.com/artimages/2010/03/Mark-Rothko-Black-on-Maroon-Mural-Section-3-1959-The-Seagram-Murals-.jpg). A couple of seconds pass, and then Rothko gestures him in, and gives him the run down on what it means to work here. In short, Rothko is kind of a dick.

The next hour unfolds as we watch Rothko berate his assistant about “not really knowing art” and getting mad at stuff for no reason other than he is a disturbed asshole. The assistant seems pretty upbeat through most of it, though there is a completely unnecessary side story about how the assistant’s parents were murdered that attempts to inject sympathy and pathos into the tale but fails miserably. At this point I noticed my father-in-law looking at his watch and attempting to summon the courage to walk out of the place. I would have been right behind him.

Suddenly, there is a solid 15 minute scene where the assistant finally snaps (after Rothko insults artists in the style of pop art, like Andy Warhol and his contemporaries) and calls Rothko, in a beautifully crafted rant, an old irrelevant pretentious sellout. I was fucking STUNNED. First, this was a high quality rant in and of itself and second, it encapsulated all my thoughts about the character of Rothko better than I could have myself. The play only has 15 minutes to go, and the tale is wrapped up with Rothko refusing to sell the paintings to the Four Seasons and firing the assistant to go “find his own place in the world”, for...uh...reasons. I was still in shock from the rant.

The acting was pretty good, though the actors were essentially just doing the best with what they had. Overall, I give it 1 smiley face on a scale of 5 frowny faces to 5 smiley faces. I really didn’t like the play much at all, but that rant at the 60 minute mark was really, really well done. I also kind of like the paintings they displayed, even though I normally dislike abstract art. And hey, it gave me something to talk about!