Kotas Reviews Fat Bottom Brewing's Ruby

As I linger in the beer aisle, wistfully wishing to fill my cart with delicious foamy goodness, I often see if any of my locally brewed stuff is available. I actually really like the local brewing trend that has swept the nation, and I enjoy supporting local businesses. Of course, my definition of "local" is "In My State", but there are more options every day. So as I scanned the shelves, I saw something right out of the town of Nashville, Tennessee, proving once and for all that something else comes out of that city besides gin and country music. Today we review Fat Bottom Brewing's Ruby.

Actual Slogans: "Grab one!" and "Rounder, Fuller Flavor!"

With a name like Fat Bottom Brewing, you know the puns are gonna be fast and furious. Oh how painfully true this is. Most of their offerings have names like "Black Betty", "Bertha", "Ginger" and the like. Others have horrible puns like "Knockout" on them. As you can see from their website, they also have a tap room and beer garden in downtown Nashville. Hoo boy does this branding run off into the distance, presumably checking its Fitbit the whole way while making sure the trilby it is wearing stays at just the right angle.

Heh heh. Bottom.

I do like the pin up style artwork that adorns the packaging, especially because it was designed for my particular aesthetic tastes in...artwork. But (ha!) there is nothing subtle or reserved about this brand at all. The language is also less than progressive, and that does not please me. Then again I don't suppose beer advertising and labeling is known for its incredibly tasteful and classy marketing, is it? How does it look in the glass?

Foamy. Very foamy. 

It's a very pretty red ale, though the head on it was larger than I expected. Just foaming everywhere, it was. Once that calmed down, I was able to appreciate the aroma of a good solid red ale. Another local brewer makes a most excellent red ale with a very unfortunate name, so I expected something along those lines. What a surprise I was in for. Ruby here is much hoppier than I was expecting. The very strong bitterness clashes with my personal expectations about what a red ale is supposed to taste like. I wanted a nice clean malty beverage and what I got was a hoppy, bitter experience that does not sell me on the concept of the "red ale". I suppose it is much closer to the British Bitters than to an Irish Red, but I guess reds have one thing in common: You are going to get more than you bargained for.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets one frowny face. I did finish the package, but I will not be buying this again, and I was disappointed in my purchase. My IPA loving friends may adore this though, since it would be a good session bitter for people who want that IPA feel without wanting to overdose on the hops. All that being said, I would give their beers another try, though in a different flavor. It seems very well crafted for what it is, it is just not what I was expecting. The artwork is up my alley, and I would totally decorate my theoretical bar with the pin up pictures. Just not the slogans surrounding it.

Kotas Reviews Best Damn Root Beer

Root beer is one of those drinks that I have always enjoyed, but only when I remember that it exists. Rarely purchased, but often drunk, it resides as a "treat" beverage for me, mostly because the diet versions are almost universally not good to me. It also let me pretend to be drinking booze when I was a wee lad, because beer is beer, right? Well, let's see what happens when we add liquor back to a drink designed originally as a healthy alternative to water that didn't get you drunk. Today we explore the boldly named Best Damn Root Beer.

Can you back up that statement bottle?

 Many products have claimed to be the best, but so rarely does anything actually put it on the label as a part of the name. That takes some serious brass ones to declare that this root beer, above all over root beers both alcoholic and non, is the Best. I'll be honest, I never considered having an alcoholic root beer, though I have seen it used as a mixer in the past, so this is kind of a weird experience for me. Still, I do love the artwork, with the big foaming barrel. Let's see it in the glass.

Considerably less foamy than advertised.

That's a lot less foam than I was hoping for, but hey, whatever. I'm good at pouring I guess. Of course, the proof is in the tasting of the drink. The initial hit on the tongue is very sassafras, with a hint of vanilla and a bit of sharpness (presumably from the alcohol) that is actually quite pleasant. Then the aftertaste rolls in and you want to have anything else in your mouth but this taste, because it's like you took a big gulp of bar rag squeezin's. Because it only induces nightmares AFTER swallowing, you really can't spit it out to at least minimize the effect either! I wouldn't want my friends to drink this. I wouldn't want my DOG to drink this. I managed to get through a bottle though, because after a few mind blasting quaffs you sort of get used to the after taste, and then it becomes consumable, and that first taste is actually really nice. I don't know if I got a skunky bottle or what, but jeez is this bad. Best Damn Root Beer? My shiny metal ass it is!

As a side note however, I was advised to try it with ice cream, which I did with a second bottle. For whatever freakin' reason this totally works to murder the aftertaste and leaves you with a much better beverage. Why? I don't know, but if you must drink this, do it in a float or simply with ice cream. That makes it good, through some sort of dark sorcery.

On the FACE Rating System, this gets two frowny faces. It is saved from three because the initial flavor is quite nice, and it seems that ice cream acts as a mitigating factor. However, do not drink this, no really. There are better ways to have a boozy root beer that do not require incredible fortitude or copious amounts of dairy products to "enjoy". Fuck this root beer, you lying bastard.