Kotas Reviews Brach's Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn

Ah, Fall. Probably my favorite season of the year. The weather is cooling, but not freezing. The leaves on the trees are pretty colors. I can wear long pants without dying in the sweltering heat. Fall also contains two of my favorite food based holidays: Halloween and Thanksgiving. There is, however, a more sinister side to Fall, and that is the Oncoming Storm of Pumpkin Spice. Yes, the flavor that cravers love to savor is back and in full force once again. Let's see how it handles another fall favorite. Today we look at Brach's Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn.

May Glob have mercy on our souls.

I admit that I am a candy corn aficionado. Candy corn was always a staple in my house while I was growing up and though I was not a huge fan at first, I came to enjoy the subtle waxy sweetness that a good candy corn can bring, along with its cousins the mallow pumpkin and the "autumn mix". Candy corn is definitely an acquired taste and is certainly not for everyone, though they've tried broadening the market with such things as chocolate candy corn, "reindeer corn" which is just candy corn in red, green, and white, and other seasonal varieties. My preferences run toward "traditional" candy corn, because most variants are not very good or just recolors of the traditional. Not so with today's offering. Let's dive in!

Yep. It looks like candy corn. Candy corn has always had a very distinctive odor associated with it, but this stuff smells more like a Yankee Candle in the Pumpkin Spice scent. The colors are fine, being the traditional orange, white, and yellow, so it would be indistinguishable from ordinary candy corn in a bowl. Clearly, that is how they get you. But appearances aren't everything, how does it taste? 

I actually like Pumpkin Spice in myriad forms. The Starbucks Latte variety is delicious, and pumpkin doughnuts are always a treat. Pumpkin pie is one of my staple fall desserts, and who doesn't love a hint of gourdly goodness in their muffins now and again? So, as you can see, I am certainly predisposed to like these two flavors. But...how do they pair?

Have you ever smelled a candle and thought "man, that smells delicious. I wonder how it would taste?" Yeah, well, eating this so called food is exactly like what I imagine eating a pumpkin spice candle would taste like. I mean, yeah, candy corn has a bit of waxiness to it, but for Crap's Sake, this is the waxiest thing I've ever put in my mouth, and I've tried Wax Lips candy...which is real wax! The terror is exacerbated by the most nauseatingly fake pumpkin flavor imaginable, marching over the taste buds in horribly malignant saraband. There is something resembling artificial "spice", but what spice it could be I could scarcely comprehend.   I really hated this stuff, as did my long suffering mother who is also a candy corn connoisseur. 

On the FACE Rating System, this gets 3 Frownie Faces. It is just fucking awful and we would all be better off if this abomination had never escaped the lab to threaten us in our homes. Run as far as you can from this nightmare concoction and don't turn back, like I did. You may never recover from your experience. Don't wait for me, it's too late. Save yourself!

Kotas Reviews Full Service BBQ

I'm a big fan of barbecue, really. Slow cooked for hours, slathered in rubs and sauces, all designed to make a large, cheap, tough cut of meat into something marvelous, truly it is an American meal. It is also one of those food types that inspires fierce regional loyalty. Texas Brisketteers look down their noses at Memphis baby back rib purveyors, and both are suspicious of Kansas City, with it's savory take on sauces. Everyone has a favorite type, though my love of barbecue is nigh Catholic in its acceptance. When some friends invited me to celebrate a birthday in High Barbecue Style, I could not refuse, and frankly, I'd not been to the place. Let's take a look at Full Service BBQ.

BEHOLD!

Full Service BBQ, so I am told, started as a take out joint located in an old gas station, hence the name. This particular location was ensconced in an old Sonic place, minus all the car hop nonsense. Speaking of nonsense, there is none here. The concept is simple. You park, you go to the window, you order. They bring out your order. You leave, or eat it at some of the many mismatched tables that sprawl in front of it. There is also a drive through window, if you are in a hurry. Orders are punched into a tablet, though they do accept credit cards via the magic of Square or other payment option. 

They barbecue choices are many and varied. They serve beef brisket, pulled pork, pulled chicken, ribs, and smoked sausage. They also offer several "foods topped with barbecue" such as nachos, loaded fries, and the ever popular Hawg Dawg, which is a hot dog topped with barbecued meat. They even offer a sampler meal called "The Big Boy Box" which has some of all the meats along with a couple of sides. Of course I got the Big Boy Box.

I'm a big kid now!

I chose as my sides cole slaw and fries. They are generous with the barbecue sauce, which is a sweet and spicy sauce, spicier than you would imagine, really, but very good. They also throw in some Texas Toast and a pile of pickles, jalepenos, and onions as random toppings. It's a LOT of food, for about $18. This and a couple of drinks would make a meal for any two people. Of course I ate it by myself.

To my credit, I did finish everything but some of the fries, which they are generous with. The brisket was very good, nice and tender, but not dry like I've had at a few places. The pulled pork was also tasty, though sans sauce it wasn't the stand out. The ribs were fall off the bone tender and very meaty, though they had a bit more cartilage in them than I was expecting. The smoked sausage was well spiced and excellent. The standout though? The pulled chicken. This was the best damn pulled chicken I've ever had. Excellent spicing, moist and juicy instead of dry, and a flavor that stood out even when smothered in sauce, this was fantastic. The fries were also excellent fries, though I wished for more crispness. The only disappointment was the cole slaw, which just did not have much flavor at all in contrast to everything else. I even got to sample the banana pudding, which was so good that even in my corpulent state, I considered ordering some.

On the FACE Rating System, this place gets 3 bloated and full smiley faces. I waddled away from this place fat and happy, and I will absolutely visit it again. The pulled chicken was amazing, and everything tasted pretty great, with the sole exception of the cole slaw. Highly recommended if you are in town! A little out of the way for me, but totally worth it.